to be angry that my dad thinks its no big deal to let my 14 month dd share his beer

[biskybat]

Ok, so he only gave her a sip but when I pointed out that I wasn't happy with this. He didn't apologise, he just looked surprised and said that it wouldn't harm her

I was really angry, not because I think she will be permanently damaged by this ( I think she will survive as it was only a sip) but I find it really annoying that he doesn't realise that I am her parent and not him...he seemed to think I was over reacting which made me even more

I told him that I will find it really hard to let him babysit her by himself if he is going to do things like this. He genuinely didn't seem to understand why I was angry so it got me thinking that maybe I was being a bit PFB about this, so am I? BTW he is not an alcoholic or anything. He and my mum are practically teatotal most of the time, he just thought she might like to try some as it was some kind of honey beer and tasted nice and sweet.

How am I supposed to know if I am being unreasonable or not if everyone has a different opinion...ah well will just have to live with not knowing

Don't worry too much about my dad he will carry on doing things like this and doesn't take offense very easily.

Oh, btw, this curry was the hot one especially for me and my dh...they had another curry for people who prefer to still have their taste buds still intact...would have been fine for her to eat the milder one.

I am also very grateful to my parents for taking an interest in my dd and babysitting her from time to time, its just nice to be consulted sometimes! Grandparenting should definitely be in the dictionary...most grandparents I know do about 50% of the childcare and are worth their weight in gold.

50 per cent of the childcare

Dh gave our dd some froth off his beer, the face she pulled scared the shite out of him he never did it again

I think that there is a difference though between offering a child a taste who is old enough to ask and be curious than feeding it to a small child/older baby as an amusement for the adults. FIL used to do this to see the "funny look" .....

YANBU - I agree he meant no harm but it was an idiotic thing to do so you are not overreacting either. She's 14 months ffs what is wrong with this country??!!!

They don't do 50% but alot of my friends have gone back to work and their parents are acting as childminders etc.

I see my parents a couple of afternoons a week and only ever leave her with them if I need to get my haircut or dh and I go out for dinner which is once every 2 weeks...

I was just trying to say that I know that grandparents are valuable...

I don't know any grandparents doing 50% of the childcare. My parents are still working.

You are very lucky to get the help you do. I know a lot of parents who haven't had a night out in years.

I know I am lucky, although dh and I have only been out 3 times as this arrangement (my mum's idea, she still works part time but father is retired) has only been going in the past couple of months.

Ok, this thread has gone a little strange. We seem to have gone off on a tangent about childcare. My parents have babysat for my dd alone a total of 4 times in over a year. I don't think I am taking them for granted yet

I never would. I love my parents and I love my dd and the relationship between the two of them is important to me. I want dd to know them so I bring her to visit them twice a week so they can have fun together.

bisky sounds like you were being unreasonable and now you've had a chance to think about it and aren't being unreasonable

I'm very jealous about the nearby grandparents though!!

With my mum I try to keep firmly in mind that she absolutely loves my dds. She might do things I wouldn't or in a different way but she would never harm them or allow them to come to harm. With that in mind everything else is just small footnotes.
A sip of beer or a spoonful of ice cream does not equal the hurt that can be caused by overreaction over something fairly minor.

Let them know what you do and then give them the freedom to enjoy their grandchildren...they'll still get it wrong compared with your standards but you and your dcs will gain so much from the relationship that I don't think you should sweat it.