to be surprised that somebody would choose not to go to their child's harvest festival when...

[emkana]

... they had no other commitments.

And please don't jump on me, I am really open to having it explained to me why somebody would choose not to attend.

I've enjoyed this thread.

It just goes to show what kind of petty-minded people there are out there, desperate to scrutinise the minituaie of other people's lives and criticise their parenting.

Just goes to show that there is absolutely no point in worrying about what other people think, because some people are just farking weird.

So Emkana, are you saying that these people are clearly bad parents? (and is this just the mums? or the dads as well?)

I carry the trauma well. My mother had a job.

Class assemblies, xmas play and sports day = yes. Harvest festival, "summer carnival" and assorted other flaky events = no, I'm not taking time off from work.

Did you read my post earlier? I said:

I take your point that some parents would rather not go, and that children will not be traumatised.

Nobody said anything about bad parents or good parents. I was trying to understand, it has been explained to me, I've learnt. What more do you want me to say?

I wouldn't worry about it, emkana, lots of people (including myself sometimes) post without reading anything but the OP.

I have never gone to Harvest Festival though I can.

I go to quite a few school events, loads considering I have a full time (though flexible) job.

But I'm an atheist, I don't want to go to religious services, I feel a fraud. My children know I don't go to religious services and why. They can go but that's for them to decide.

I would like to know why some parents would choose to ATTEND the harvest fesitval when they could slink off and go and do something else.

don't go to any of it. School is a 3 mile walk.

Because I dont like going to church or service promaoted by the church - I dont like to go at christmas either, as to me this celebration is a winter celebration.

My choice and so forth, I dont inflict my views on my dd and she goes to a church youth group to learn about different views (opposed to the two none religiuos YG near to where we live)

How do you know she has no other commitments?

If I didn't have to work then yes, I'd probably go along to every nursery event (even though I can't stand religious services), but from your version of events, she never said "Sorry DC, I can't be bothered to come to Harvest Festival this year"

Maybe that family's 'one ticket' has to be shared between 2 separated parents ? Therefore quite acceptable that mum does one, dad does the other and then all change for the next year ?

I have gone every year so far, but this year I chose not to. I work from home and could easily have attended. I just decided that I did not want to this year. My DS was quite understanding, he knows I have never missed one yet. I also promised to go to the Christmas one. I think he understood why I didn't go, he said "that's ok mummy I don't mind, it is sooooo boring"

I read the whole thread. And it seems to me that the sub-text to your question was a thinly-veiled criticism of parents who you think should attend these events unless they have a clear excuse not to. Otherwise, why ask? I don't see why you need to understand people's reasons for doing what they do. OK, you go to these things, because you want to and are able to. For the record, so do I, but I don't judge those who don't.

I've gone every year for seven farking years. All of them were crap and the kids couldn't have cared less whether I was there or not. Actually OP, are you my MIL?

Haven't read all of thread. I didn't go to ds's because he would arrive before me, I would be at the back, I would leave before he did. Therefore he wouldn't even know I was there.

The church is always freezing cold as well.

Clam said, "I don't see why you need to understand people's reasons for doing what they do. "

I like to understand people's reasons. It widens my experience and can help increase empathy.

Fair point, old lady. Think the OP has acknowledged that too. But I still think it was a question loaded with judgement.

Well, clam, you're clearly a better person than me then.