to ignore fil today as i am so angry about last night?

[ilovetochat]

Last night fil left a cup of hot coffee on the fireguard and dd (16 months) climbed on her rocking horse with her hands on the fireguard and was cms from the cup. i screamed coffee and dp managed to get there just in time. fil said oh is she going for cups now? and that was it, no apology, no shock, nothing.
They had turned up uninvited (had been round invited the day before) to bring dds xmas presents unwrapped and said she could look now if she wants, i said no. i was pissed off that they turned up at tea time and tbh was ignoring them a bit so i didn't notice fil move the coaster onto the fireguard and balance the coffee but i am furious.
Fil just came round to go out with dp and dd was asleep so i stayed in the kitchen and when they went i said bye to dp and ignored fil. aaaaaaagh

hellish, no I didn't know that, in our house santa fil stockings at that's it

YABU. In his shoes I would have been totally lost as to the reason for your ignoring me. It wouldnt have occurred to me that would have pissed you off so much. Even as the mother of one still quite little one.

He forgot or didn't think about the coffee. And he grabbed it before she did. Why should he apologise? It was a mistake.

Clearly you aren't too keen on them though.

punishing someone for something they won't realise they are being punished for won't have the desired effect. They won't get it and you'll just spend all day stewing and getting wound up. So you're the only person suffering it.

Drop it, you'll feel better.

For God's sake.

You have just been given a brilliant no-one-got-hurt warning. Your DD is reaching up to cups and needs to be watched AND your FIL is a bit careless where he leaves his cup and needs to be watched. Fab. Now you know and you didn't have a trip to hospital to go with this information.

She's your child and she's your responsibility. It's YOU that needs to be looking where everyone has put their cups - they don't know what your DD's latest abilities are. And it sounds like your FIL is at least trying by attempting to find somewhere high up.

He probably didn't apologise as nothing happened.

I wish we had had such a painless warning, instead of the bad scald one of my DCs did get.

Get over yourself.

YABU imo. We had a similar incident when ds1 was about 18 months and he scalded himself while staying at my parents. But tbh if I had ignored my df or shouted I could not have helped the situation. A 18 month old is into everything and anything can happen in 2 secs. gp's also forget how fast lo's develop as they are not there 24/7.

to be honest this could happen to you in near future and would not want your dp to ignore you so you shouldnt ignore his dad

it was s illy mistake but one we have all made one time or another with our own children

my mum made this mistake once i did not ignore her no harm was done and she knew then that nothing was safe around my ds

also i wouldnt of expected an apology as people who are not aware of childrens capabilities such as now reaching that cup when once it was probably ok learn just by being told to apologise would indicate he done something wrong when it was a accident and no one was hurt id expect an apology if my ds got burnt

i know our children are precious but you cannot expect other people to know the boundries with your child so we need to keep an eye on them move the cup explain they can now reach

you too will one day make that kind of mistake and it feels horrible even worse to be punished for it

as for the presents wrap them and put them away its the thought that counts it sounded like he wanted her to see them

and also i dont mind my or my dp family just turning up there family after all

YABU. It was NEARLY an accident but your DD wasn't hurt. Your FIL will be at a loss to understand why you are blanking him.

Are you going to fall out with everyone about nearly having an accident? Because if you are, you will probably have no one speaking to you by the time she is 4 years old.

You'll be amazed how quickly you forget to watch out for things like hot cups once your child is no longer a toddler.

As soon as they move to the next stage you lose the special mummy goggles that show up toddler hazards everywhere. So be a bit sympathetic when people slip up - because that'll be you one day

you are probably right, he will have forgotten all about the cup by now. I wasn't intending on ignoring him forever i just couldn't speak to him this morning as i was just thinking you careless idiot so i kept my distance, better than having a go then having to apologise after iyswim.
eemie thanks for putting it so nicely, i'm sure he won't do it again now he has seen for himself that she was right there.
i am shocked actually how many of you have had similar incidents, in rl you don't hear about this stuff i guess.
i know she is my responsibility but i do leave the room or do other things when her gps are here as they play with her and its gives me a chance to relax a bit, obviously that's not the case, just me bu.

I just logged on again to apologise for being harsh!

One of my DCs, as I said, was scalded dreadfully. The pain, and our guilt, were appalling. So you are quite right to be vigilant and even paranoid (not that I am saying you are) because you need to be with small children.

But awful accidents do happen even when you think you have taken loads of care.

I think when people's dc are np longer young they forget what it is like. The turning up sounds a pain though!

As everyone else has said you are being unreasonable and really childless.

How sad for your DD to grow up with you treating her grandfather like this.

Childless!! Childish, I meant.

Sorry, just read your last post and seen that you already know you were BU.

thanks balloon slayer, i don't think you can ever be too careful, i know accidents happen and mistakes happen to us all but when its your chils you are so protective you cant help it.
god chequers, i thought you were calling me childless then, that would have been harsh, yes i have calmed enough to know i was bu ignoring him and its rightll been pointed out that he wouldn't know why anyway.
i want dd to love all her gps so try and welcome them all as much as possible but not every night its too much.