to not want to carry on living with my inlaws?!

[livingwiththeinlaws]

This is basically a general rant but its been building up and i really need to let it out! .i know this might seem selfish but i dont think i can take it anymore.
we got into trouble financially about 3 years ago. We decided to rent out our house and move in with my inlaws about 4 months ago. they have a big house and my MIL wanted us to stay. my FIL wasnt so keen as he said it was a shame on the family that we couldnt look after ourselves.
its really dificult because my BIL lives here as well. Nobody does anything as they feel that as the only one at home i should. they are very traditional and believe that i should make their food and tidy up. Im so upset as my husband works long hours and we have 4 boys aged 1-7
The thing is the tables have turned and they have just told us that they are actually in a worse situation than us. they are both due to retire this year and still have a mortgage and cant afford to pay it without us. My husband and I are hoping to have paid off most of our bills by the summer except his ccj which is stopping us getting another house. My MIL might be getting made redundant and wants to use the money as a deposit on another house and live with us. I know that she is trying to help as she knows not having a deposit and the ccj is stopping us. we dont want to live in the area we are in know as we have 4 boys and its not a good area.
the problem is i never used to get on with them and cant imagine living with them for the rest of their lives.
i know im being selfish, unreasonable, ungrateful but I dont know whether I will be able to cope with the nagging!
im finding it hard to sleep and shouting at my kids. I like the company but miss having my own space. I dont know how to make this work for all of us. If I say no I will miss out on getting my dreamhouse in a lovely area and round the clock childcare so I can go back to work and go out.
If I say yes i miss out on having my own space and risk getting nagged to death!
if your still here after reading this long rant, thankyou.I feel a bit better

hes always at work, does long hours.

i understand the cultural pressure.
But let me give you seperate point of view from someone who fianlly moved out after 7 years of living with in laws.
If you do decide to live with in laws know these things for a fact

1. Their hold on you will never ever go.
2. You will never have any real independence
3. You will never have a "real" relationship with your husband whilst his parents are around.
4. You will always have free babysitting but the price you pay will be your children being brought up by a village.

IMHO get out. Live in a caravan, live in a car live wherever you need to but dont under any circumstances get suckered into living permenatly with your inlaws. nd now i'm taking deep breaths!

forgive me if this is nosey (and feel fee to ignore) but what culture are we talking about? It might have a bearing on the situation. coming from an Asian background, i know what kind of expectations in laws can have! Is there any reason why you can't rent yourselves and your in-laws move into a smaller house? they must have some equity in the house if they've been there for a while.

What a terrible situation. They have helped you out when you were in difficulty but this situation is already taking a heavy toll on you and it has only been a few months. Do you want to leave like this for the rest of your life? rmm is right, you will never have a proper family life and relationship with your husband whilst they are around. As for your FIL's washing, yeah thats gonna happen.
I think you need to reassure them that you are willing to help them out but living with them for the rest of their days (and that could be another 30 odd years!) is not an option, and the living arrangement you are in was only supposed to be temporary. It is not your fault that they cannot pay their mortgage. You could offer to help them find a new house, get legal/financial advice, help them move out etc.