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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think that this situation is dodgy as hell??

28 replies

jesusofutopia · 14/11/2008 20:46

I've just found out that last weekend, my 13 year old daughter and her friend went onto the university campus to talk to some security guards that they often see on their way to school in a morning.

Apparantly the guards invited them in to their portocabin thing and they say with them for over an hour "just talking" and then when the security supervisor was spotted walking towards the building, the guards rushed DD and her mate upstairs and HID THEM amongst a load of boxes and told them to be quiet. Supervisor came and went and then they were allowed back down again.

so am I over-reacting or what? I want to report this to the police but not sure what I am reporting? I mean, they were not kept there against their will or anything, I'm just furious and so gobsmacked that they would do that.

OP posts:
psychomum5 · 14/11/2008 20:47

that sounds very dodgy......I would be horrified if my DD's told me something like that.

MostlyReindeer · 14/11/2008 20:48

Police could do nothing, unless they were... you know, but I would have a word with the Supervisor definatly!

gemmiegoatlegs · 14/11/2008 20:48

Gosh. I would be horrified too. Is it possible thety thought the girls were older?

dittany · 14/11/2008 20:48

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TequilaMockinBird · 14/11/2008 20:49

YANBU, sounds very dodgy to me.

Agree with the others, I'd definitely speak to the supervisor or the university about this.

madlentileater · 14/11/2008 20:50

silly behaviour all round IMO, not necessarily dodgy

DandyLioness · 14/11/2008 20:50

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Umlellala · 14/11/2008 20:50

I would be inclined to talk to security guards myself and mention the fact that they are only 13. Then gauge their reaction..?

DandyLioness · 14/11/2008 20:50

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OrmIrian · 14/11/2008 20:50

No no no no! How horrible.

nappyaddict · 14/11/2008 20:50

So presumably the girls weren't meant to be in the portacabin thing and the security guards would have got in trouble? Did they tell the girls beforehand they shouldn't be in there with them?

poshwellies · 14/11/2008 20:50

VERY VERY DODGY.

I'dd be having a stern fucking talk with my 13 dd if it was me.

What is her take on this?

Umlellala · 14/11/2008 20:51

Sorry, that makes it sound like you are over-reacting. You are not.

DandyLioness · 14/11/2008 20:51

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solidgoldbrass · 14/11/2008 20:51

The hiding is worrying. However, the guards do not appear to have harmed or frightened the girls and probably had no intention of doing so. It's probably that the guards are young-ish, thick-ish blokes who are bored with their jobs but would get in trouble for chattering while on duty.
It is also quite probably that while the guards (presumably) know that your DD and her friend are still at school, they may not know that they are 13 - is your DD tall for her age and inclined to dress fashionably/wear make up (if you don't allow her to wear make up are you sure that she isn't capable of putting some on when she's left the house?) Basically they may well have thought that your DD and her friend were 16 or so ie they are lechy young men not grooming paedophiles.

However, tell your DD not to do this again. Explain to her that she put herself and her friend at risk, and that if she does it again you will ground her (or whatever your household equivalent is).

llareggub · 14/11/2008 20:51

What have you said to your 13 year old daughter about placing herself in vulnerable situations? I'd be inclined to do that and then have a word with her school so that they can address it there as well to reinforce the message.

It was probably no more sinister than the security guards not wanting to be caught not fulfilling their duties effectively, but given that you daughter is only 13, then I guess you need to make a judgment call.

I don't have a 13 year old girl, but I have a cousin who is a lot younger than me. At 13 I was shocked by her adult appearance, her dress, her behaviour, and found it all a little uncomfortable. She was dealing with issues that didn't cross my mind until my late teens. How is "mature" is your daughter in outlook? Would the security guards known she was 13 not 17 or so? Or is she a young 13? If the latter I probably would report it, but I suspect nothing would happen.

I'd start with your daughter, I think.

artichokes · 14/11/2008 20:53

There is nothing to report to the police. No crime took place. The guards should not have invited girls into the cabin while they were working and thought they would be fired for slacking on the job so hid the girls. Its not the end of the world.

I would have a stern word with the girls about not going up to grown up men that they do not know "just for a chat". And certainly not then accepting invites into the strange mens' work places/houses etc.

Do you think the guards had anyway of telling how young the girls are?

beansontoast · 14/11/2008 20:54

that's the sort of thing i used to get up to!...not necessarily dodgy ,but you do need to know a little more about what happened,who these guards are etc

i had no idea of the risks...no idea...however nothing ever happened to me.it would def be worth spelling out to your dd what your concerns are.

tough one

artichokes · 14/11/2008 20:57

Unless it is obvious that the girls are 13 I really do not think that the guards did anything wrong.

DandyLioness · 14/11/2008 21:08

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solidgoldbrass · 14/11/2008 21:21

DandyLioness: you're assuming that the guards were much older than the girls. If the guards were 18/19 which they might easily have been, and if they assumed the girls were 16 or so, then it becomes much more silly rather than Paedo Horror! It's not at all impossible that the guards are under 25 - young enough to be attractive to 13-year-old girls and young enough to be silly about breaching their terms of employment.

A panicky over-reaction could be very counter-productive as it could lead to the OP's DD becoming secretive about stuff she really needs to discuss with her mum.

HeliumBee · 14/11/2008 21:21

Yes it sounds dodgy - at best they werent doing their jobs properly, and didnt think of any health and safety risks (hiding between boxes..??!!). At worst - goodness knows...
I'd probably take it up with my daughter in a gentle way - trying to prevent her getting into those situations than rushing around having a go at idiot security guards...

kickassangel · 14/11/2008 21:42

Aren't the security guards there to ensure that strangers (including your daughter) don't trespass on university property? ironically, it's probably the girls who have committed a crime (university property is private, not public) and the guards are gulity of breach of employment.

the guards were definitely aware of the fact, or they wouldn't have hidden the girls.

do you want to see these men lose their job? if yes, report it, but be aware of the rebound on your daughter if the university wanted to take it further.

Heated · 14/11/2008 21:50

Agree with Artichokes' 20:53:55 post

MadMarg · 14/11/2008 23:01

Having ANY females in the cabin would have got the guys into trouble - perhaps being transferred to a site that wasn't as pleasant. Having young females in the cabin, even more so. I would suspect that they were young guards, and a bit foolish.

To be honest, though, it sounds like something I would have done at that age, silly girl that I was. I would have been mortified to think that my behaviour could have cost someone their job, so think before you decide to report it.

Why don't you go and talk to the guards yourself? If nothing else, you will quickly get an idea whether you should take it further or not. A visit from the 'mother' would be flaming scary to a silly guard!!!!!

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