To think I should be able to leave the office if I want to?

[Blinglovin]

I'm 32, experienced and fairly senior within the team I work. But... new boss is the type who makes us all feel we have to sit here. So, even though it's Friday, and its 17:20, and it's been a very quiet week after 8 very very busy weeks, we're all going to sit here until 18:00 like children waiting to get out of school.

I don't even mind setting my phone to transfer to my mobile and obviously checking my blackberry. I am just horrified that I've actually become one of those people who stays to be seen. I loathe those people.

oh, and it makes me even more mad because obviously we all, including me, regularly work overtime, from home on blackberry etc and do a 10 hour day as standard.

Grrr... am in a mood (mostly with myself for falling into this trap)

Just go at the time you are supposed to finish. I was quite unpopular in my old job for leaving on time (I had to - my children needed to be picked up!) I absolutely hate the presenteeism culture. So long as you can show that you have done your job hold your head up high and leave!

Join me in my sitting in the office boredom.

Sorry - should have been clearer, our official office hours are 8:30 - 18:00. But our previous boss took the view that as most of us stayed until well after most days, and were on blackberries etc, that we could leave earlier on fridays if it was quiet.

And as the boss of my team, I encouraged them to do the same. But it's a whole new world order now.

Just leave.

Be very composed about it. You mustn't let your self confidence be undermined by this new boss - if you regularly work overtime to get the job done, then you must also be able to leave early when there is no work.

That is adult, grown-up behaviour . Set a good example to your colleagues (and boss). But don't talk about it at all - just do it.

What are your core hours? If you are paid till 6 then stay. If not then go and if anyone asks you why tell them they can have your heart and soul for the time they pay for - anything above that they just have to hope they get lucky!

Don't you have an important 'meeting' to go to? I, for example, urgently need to see you to discuss the sales figures

x posted - ok well you're paid till 6 - if I were your boss I'd expect you to stay - whether its deader than Elvis or not. They've paid for your time - you'd better get off mnet and do some work!!!

Anna, you're inspiring. I might give it a bash. In say... 15 minutes?

lol mabanana - yes, I think we did say we would have that Very Important Meeting now didn't we? How could I have forgotten

It's really hard as I have never been like this in 10 years of working full time in professional environments. But this guy... don't even get me started. I have a colleague in New York who's just got back from ML and the poor thing is struggling even more than I am, and she doesn't even sit in the same country as him! Or report directly.

Come on! Honestly, I'm sitting here and I have absolutely no idea how we stand for October....

Aaah, but NorthernLurker, I don't get overtime do I? So if I'm supposed to do 50 odd hours a week but have done 60 5 out of the last 6 weeks, including one full Saturday and a number of ridiculous calls at 11:30 at night to New York recently, and I'm considered responsible enough to do that, shouldn't I be responsible enough to know when it's okay to leave a bit early?

Although I take your point about getting off MN!

Mabanana? I didn't understand the October reference?

No you should arrange with your boss when you should take that lieu time and you should take it in full. Perhaps you could point out the Friday is quiet and so you'll use up your excess hours by leaving at five for x number of weeks?

Hahaha - I love it NorthernLurker. But not a chance. He'd love at me and immediately slash my bonus by at least 50%. I work for an investment bank. Such debates are not on the agenda.

I think Anna has the right of it. I have to act like an adult and just leave. I'm currently packing my bag, changing my shoes and going to the bathroom and then I am out of here.

oops, there's an amusing freudian slip. He'd "laugh" not "love" me.

oh well if thats the situation then don't let them see you for dust!

Can't you smile, and say "Righto - I'm about to cash in a smidgen of all that unpaid overtime that I've done. Unless you've got anything ultra urgent, I'm transferring my phone and my blackberry and going now." - with a strong emphasis on smidgen so that he realises that leaving a little bit early doesn't at all make up for all that overtime you've done!!!

Oops, transferring my phone to my blackberry.

I told him a few weeks ago that I was hoping to leave a bit early after a week from hell. 5 minutes later, he dumped two ridiculous things on my lap - one of which turned out not even to be an issue for a business line I work with, or even an issue in London!?!?!?!

He's a piece of work. There are definitely bigger issues than me not being able to feel I can leave at 17:30. But the time one is the only one I have the energy to deal with right now.

The thing with these people is that they are often staying in the office to fill a void elsewhere (often nothing to go home to, which is quite sad in a way, not that I'm asking you to pity this guy), or to avoid going home to bedtime with the kids (I've heard men admit this, but I'm sure women do it too) so it's very hard to fight it. I wouldn't try to justify leaving - he knows how hard you've worked. Just go! And have a great weekend!

okay. I'm going. Wish me luck.

This is crazy. It'll only happen if you let it happen.

Just go. SMile and say bye.