Was she having a go at me?

[Ripeberry]

Maybe i'm a bit, but i'm suffering with a bad cold and a bit touchy.
But this afternoon the school did a cake sale and it was to try and get some parents to help with a Xmas fair in December.
A form was passed around the school and it must have gone through at least 30 different pairs of hands, including grandparents and one of the parents came over and said "Oh, you're a SAHM you can do this as I'm working!"
With the emphasis on WORKING. Bloody cheek and she had not even put herself down for any of the baking cakes or biscuits jobs, in fact no-one else did out of 50 sets of parents.
So basically its the same old PTA people who have to try and do all the jobs themselves.
I did put myself down for the mince pies but i'm not even going to the fair as i have to go and look after my Mum who is now in hospital.
Would you have been a bit that no-one even cares to help out?
Shall i get my hard hat and some popcorn

All these parents who say they hate the PTA and can't see the point. What do you think it is FOR? I am being really serious here. I have just spent weeks organising a PTA event at our school. As Ripeberry says it is the same people helping out every time and we sweat blood to make a few hundred pounds on a big event that takes huge amounts of our time and energy to organise. Why do you think we do it? To keep ourselves occupied? I think not. I have more than enough to do already. To feel like a big cheese in the playground? That accusation gets hurled around a lot on threads too. I don't see it applies to most of the people I know who help out, they are normal, nice people whose self-esteem doesn't need that sort of boost.
Why then?
It is really, really simple - to pay for stuff that enhances the children's experience of school. We have paid for a stage, for playground equipment, for an environmental area in the school garden, for sports equipment, musical instruments ... stuff that benefits every child in the school but which can't come out of the school budget because the money simply isn't there. We do it because we want the children to have that stuff. And then you come on a thread like this and find that you are being sneered at and reviled. I just don't get it.

Thanks SGM. Good to feel someone else is in the same boat. I have had it up to here today - if one more person comes up to me in the playground and tells me what the PTA ought to be doing I won't be responsible for my actions.

Ladyglen We could be twins! If I had not read your profile I would be convinced we are in the same PTA.

I'm sure that the money that the PTA raises is absolutely vital for the childrens education and development.

However this is the middle of November and presumably the parents ( or should I say Mothers as I have never heard of a single Father being asked to bake contributions for cake sales etc) had to make the cakes and buns for the sale.

To then be asked to participate in an event which is presumably less than a month away, right in the busy christmas season, when if she is working all week is probably taken up with getting presents and ferrying children to Santa parties, seems a bit excessive IMHO.

Agree though that she shouldn't have made a dig about you being a SAHM, none of her beeswax really.

If it's getting to you then just don't do it

Life's too short

You could have just said "Oh I'm busy that day unfortunately" and that would have been the end of it

But that's not really the point MP. The OP wants to help, but is annoyed that so many other people do not, even though she is at least as busy as they are. And furthermore, they assume that it is always someone else's job to help, even though their children will benefit just as much from the money that is raised. Why is this? Ripeberry wants to know and so do I and Onthewarpath and SGM!

Perhaps the issue is the type of help that is requested.

Some people, myself included are simply poor bakers and find it hard to juggle the commitments of working and caring for a family.

My DS isn't at school yet so I don't have to deal with these issues yet. But I know that I dropped out of running our weekly mothers & toddlers because although I was happy to do the organisation associated with that, I work 4 days a week and simply do not have the desire to spend what little free time I have helping out at fetes and baking cakes, rather than being with my DS.

I would also say having volunteered and held roles in other non profit organisations in the past, that the more you give, the more people ask for. So if you say that you are willing to sit on the committee and be responsible for one specific duty, then suddenly it is assumed that you would be delighted to organise a Spring Ball or a raffle or whatever.

Finally it always seems on these threads that it is the mothers that are consistently getting brow beaten in addition to having the double whammy of working and probably doing most of the to and from school ferrying and other related activities. I wouldn't presume to tell you what to do as I have no intention of volunteering for the PTA once DS goes to school ( however being a committee sucker I probably will) but perhaps events with a more male emphasis might get a better response .

Hiya, Not involved in PTA (no school children yet). But to some extent I do wonder if it is worth the effort. I have helped with many things and stuff like cake sales and fetes are tonnes of work for the cash that get raised. I think it might be easier to just set up a dd for 5 quid a month to the school and let them use that!

I know I'm being facetious and I know that the money is used for good things but when I see a beautiful cake being sold for £1 I think, honestly what's the point?

Still sympathies to the OP, it does sound annoying!

Great idea TheoChris. My heart sinks when I get those cake baking, fete letters. I would much rather give them the money.

Great idea TheoChris. My heart sinks when I get those cake baking, fete letters. I would much rather give them the money.

YANBU IMO - although I understand that some mums don't want to be involved in PTA stuff, I think it's a bit nasty when people infer that SAHMs are not 'working'. Your case perfectly illustrates that although SAHMs don't have employment to think about, that doesn't necessarily mean they have the time for things like baking. She didn't know you have your mum to look after, did she?

I don't think this is really about baking or the PTA. She just assumed she knew what your life entailed - and that's the real problem, actually. We all do it sometimes - I think it's human nature to get into that 'my life's harder than your life' battle - but it's still bloody annoying!!

I'm with northernlurker - The whole PTA thing makes me exasperated sometimes. Why oh why do we still insist on this parental 'effort' in terms of fundraising? It's not the 1950's any more and no-one surely has this much time on their hands?

However, at least someone in our PTA has a sense of humour... this week we have been told to go to ASDA and buy loads of their cheap tatt 'presents' at £2.00 a go, give them to the PTA, and then give spending money to my kids in order that they can then go and buy these from the PTA as 'xmas presents for mummy and daddy'. Which we can then throw away.

Am I the only person on earth who thinks all school functions are boring, pointless and time consuming, I'd rather go to the dentist followed by the gynaecologist than attend any cake sales, PTA events sports days etc. unles the children want me to desperately. years ag if attendance was required I sent the nanny instead. I think the feuding between those who are in paid employment and those who are not is pathetic and childish. Face up to it, there is nothing remotely attractive about being involved in PTA or anything else to do with schools and my view has always been that those who are involved would do better to simply ask for cash than try to dress up these boring events as fund raisers - when I get a letter I weither ignore it or send a payment not to be involved.