to wish we had never moved

[gingernutlover]

just having a moan so feel free t o ignore

we moved into a new house in january, which needs completel;y redecorating, new boiler, extension etc so I thought i was prepared for it all to take a while,. Dh is a builder/carpenter so he is doigna lot of it himself

this week really takes the biscuit, we had a new boiler fitted a couple of months back which dh in his bloody wisdom decided would be best in the loft (have have yet to get a loft ladder) it has borken down 3 times in last week or so, DD and myself both have tonsillitus and on antibiotics, feeling so crap and all I have to look forwrad to is another cold shower and no heationg all day tomorrow and for god knows how long til the company send their engineer, oh and then dh will work all weekend as per usual and I will look after DD all weekend as per usual, then back to work monday still feeeling crap i expect, getting no sleep, totally fed wish we had just staye din our old house

HATE my life at the moment, know there are people worse off but honestly feel like walking out and not coming back

hmm thought that might make me feel better but unfortunatly not. My mum has offered for us to stay at hers while she is away
and it is tempting

I find that bad events/ luck often all come at the same time, or seem to. When you are over the illness, things will start to seem easier. The illness is just the last straw, and you are not coping very well with all the other stuff. Give yourself a few days, then go out and try to find a nice park or somewhere where where you can go and let off steam when the going gets too tough.

Hang in there, it will be better by and by.

Please come to my nice warm house until your bioler is fixed. Sorry, it all sounds a bit crap. Can you not pay someone to sort the boiler/hotwater thing out properly and do other jobs so your dh can give you a break?
Is there anyone you can visit for a day or two - at least til you feel better.

it has been going on since january, heating and hot water only working for a few days then off again. DGH working evenings and weekends, me being ill all the time because I am so exhausted, he now has sciatica and is awaiting pain relief treatment, so yeah maybe thing s are all happening at once but I must be due a hell of a lot of good stuff to happen soon.

we have to get an engineer from the companty that supply the boiler, it will probably be middle of next week - they dont give a toss that we have a sick child in the house let alone me

i would be very happy to have someone come and do it all for us but DH refuses, its his baby of a project.

honestly keep fantising about walking out the door and never coming back

(((hug)))
Go to your Mum's for a few days and maybe when you come back the boiler etc might be fixed and you will hopefully be a bit more rested.

Just think a few months ahead when many of the niggly new house problems start to resolve.

Get well soon x

I would take your mum up on her offer - when you feel better it won't seem AS bad

the trouble with going to my mums is that I obviously have to take DD with me, to a starange house where she will inevitably sleep even less than she is at the moemnt, and I will feel even more crap. my mum goes away saturday morning so I would be there caring for DD completely alone - I find motherhood really hard at the best of times but really not doing a very good job the past few months

Can you take DD's duvet, pillow and anything that is familiar to her? Yes the house will be a bit strange to her at first but if she is with you then she will soon settle.

You sound at the end of your tether and maybe a few days will give you a rest rather than being a hassle. At least you can have heat and baths . plus there will be new things for DD to explore.

thankyou for the kind thoughts and the advice

i will seriously think about going to my mums, especially if it gets very cold here, it wont help either of us recover from the tonsillitis

just keep thinking that at some point life has to get better, but still waiting, had pnd with dd when she was born and havent really been happy since, she is now 3 and i just feel like I am waiting for the bus that will never come

maybe this thread should have been AIBU to wish I wasnt me

Things will get better gingernut.

Have you anyone nearby that could help you with DD - even for a few hours to let you sleep or could dh come to your Mum's too and go to do DIY another day?

Or spend the money that you would have spent on someone finishing some of the house on a childminder instead - just till you get back on your feet.

dd goes to nursery 3 days a week while i work, the cost is massive. so not really an option and also while she is still ill, it has to be me who looks after her.

dh did put her to bed tonight when he got in, I dont want it to sound like he doesnt help.

I am just fed up with life in general, I'm sure at some poiint things will get better but cant see it happening just yet

Are you both able to take a little time off work? You both sound exhausted and antibiotics can make you feel yuk when you are going through the course.
It might be better for you in the long run instead of taking on too much and feeling burned out because of that.

i have been thinking that might be the answer, wont be very popular at work though, I am a teacher

i already had to take a day and a half off this week for DD, was really hoping I would feel better for monday (onyl work beg of the week) so that i dont have to make that phonecall

Surely the school would be able to cover until you were back to better health?

You all sound worn out, stressed with the house and your health is taking a battering.

Please try to rest and get some help - even if you and dh are taking it in shifts to care for dd while the other sleeps.
You will have a different perspective on things once you feel rested and healthier.

well this morn ing the heating seems to have come on but still no hot water, managed to sleep most of the night as did dd but woke up feeling like i must have been feverish all night.

my nan lives round the corner so may ask if we can have a bath there

thanks for the helpful comments last night, i do feel a little better about it all although still feel so ill.

I hope you are feeling a bit better today gingernut and at least a little more rested.

Would your grannie be able to keep an eye on DD while you had a bath or slept for a while?

Are you remembering to eat properly - try and get plenty of fruit (smoothies) and loads of fluid; it will help while you run the course of antibiotics.

Take care ...(((hug)))