to think that DH could take some responsibility for the DDs

[DisasterArea]

am very very cross. livid in fact.
DD2 had an endoscopy last week. got results yesterday. tey spoke to DH as i was at work. I assumed he would have told DD so when this mornimng while she was ranting and moaning and stropping and saying 'I'm ill' 'feel sick' 'my tummy hurts'
i shouted back 'well there is nothing wrong with you so just get over it' DD was understandibly rather upset, more from the fact that DH hadn't told her than the fact that there us nothing wrong with her.
admittedly i was perhaps a little harsh but she had been ranting at me for an hour so was feeling a little cros even then.
So i've just phoned DH to ask if and wh yhe hadn't told her and his utter feeble pathetic excuse was that he didn't know how to tell her.
FOR FUCKS SAKE HE IS ALSO HER PARENT. I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO TALKS TO THE BLOODY CHILDREN.
I am very cross.

perhaps he doesn't know how to talk to her? he could've just said "your results say there isn't anything wrong so you are ok".
x was the same, i was always the one with the final "say-so".((((((())))))

Well, YANBU to expect your DH to speak to the children, but YABVU to shout "there is nothing wrong with you". She's had an endoscopy which hasn't shown anything, but if she is feeling pain, then presumably she is unwell. Unless, of course you think she is lying to get out of school, but that would need attention too.

If my DD had a medical test done I would expect both Dh and I to discuss the results with her.

bit odd that he didnt tell her but also odd that you never asked him how DD reacted to the news or even wanted to talk to your dd yourelf about it all.
Perhaps your dd was feeling ill through worry and nerves as she thought something was wrong with her, hence having to go through the tests.

Why dont you all sit down tonight, both apologise to dd and have a good chat?

YOur dh should have told her, or you both should have told her together...alhtough, not sure if that was possible, of course......!
However, whilst it is great that the endoscopy should no problems....your dd obvioulsy doesn't feel well, so, something is wrong with her....or do you think she is making it up that she is unwell, etc...!
Sorry, I don't know the history or anything obviously...so, am not sure why it would make a difference to your dd (or the way she feels) just by knwoing that the endoscopy didn't show any problems....

But you also knew the test results. Surely you should have sat down together and talked to her? Shouting at her sounds awful.

i know it was a touch unreasonable for me to yell that at DD and funnily enugh it didn't help matters at all. but i thought at that point she knew. and had been harping on about it for hours.
I did also speak to DD on the phone last night (from work) and said something along the lines of 'that's good news isn't it' to which she agreed.

DH is normally pretty good. he cooks, cleans, ferrys them around etc. he is just utterly crap at talking to anyone, me or the DDs.
am still cross with him
why on earth didn't he tell me he hadn't told her or wanted me to tell her.

I was at work yesterday afternoon/evening. phoned to see if results were back and to say goodnight. DH at work this morning so hadn't spoken to him about it except to see if both DDs were ok yesterday evening

I am still not sure why having negatyive results in endoscopy automatically is meant to mean that your dd is al healthy and well, though?

I mean, obviously I am hoping she is, but if she complains about pain....surely something is not completely well!

yes i know, just rules out sme stuff. she feels sick all the time and gets cramps alot. is also a stroppy PITA who souts, swears, refuses to do any reading, homework, help around the house. is rude, miserable and angry all the time. and makes me feel hugely guilty for not likeing her very much after she has shouted at me for 2 hors in the mornings bfore school when i know that i won't see heruntil tomorrow evening and the time we have spent hs been ruined.
we have ishoos

DA, obvioulsy far more going on then this issue...I thought it might be something like that.
Sounds like a real nightmare situation. Have things always been difficult, or is it the hormones kicking in (looked at your profile and see she is 10)?
I really hope you can get it sorted.....maybe it would be possible to get some proper quality time with her and maybe you can talk things through, etc....!

OH, she isn't being bullied at school or anything like that, is she?

no ishoos at school, other than she hates it. has been going on over a year. have follow up at hosp in a couple of weeks.