to not want to have to go on an expensive extended-family holiday

[giantkatestacks]

its my fil's special birthday next year and we are all (over 20 people) going to a lovely hotel to celebrate it - he is paying for the accomodation and we are paying for the flights - all well and good. When the idea was first mooted I was over the moon at the cheap holiday.

Now looking at the flights it is going to cost us about £1000 so will obv be our only holiday next year and it isnt a family friendly hotel with nothing in walking distance around it.

Should I be really pleased at the chance to spend time with my dp's family or a bit annoyed that we could have gone somewhere family friendly with the money - ie centerparcs or somewhere with some waterslides, playground and beach etc so that my 5yo ds and 6mo dd have something to do?

when you say it's not family friendly, no pool, no kids club, no activities?

Those flights are dear, where are you going, maybe a mumsnetter has a discount code or a good site to get cheaper flights

What is a 'special' birthday? cant you take the kids on a cheap camping holiday, its just a one off isnt it

If the whole family is going to be there will there be other relatives who your children love spending time with? Sometimes children only need other children or an older cousin or something.

Hope you have a lovely time whatever you do.

there is a pool but no kids club and no activities - it caters for older people normally i think - so added pressure of keeping them quiet...

its quite an obscure location - and the dates are fixed so only 2 operators fly there on those days. to be fair one of those is easyjet so that would come in at £600 but their airport is hard to get to and then you've got all the seats and luggage malarky - we would never normally go away in the summer - we would go for half terms to make it a bit cheaper.

its tricky cos he thinks hes doing such a generous thing and he is but its just not that suitable for us and am worried at being resentful cos its our only holiday.

vinegartits - yes a big number birthday - and yes we prob will go camping as well but will have to negotiate an extra week from my ds's dad for that - all 'whole' weeks away are hard won and argued over.

dalek - yes it would be good for my children to get to know their relatives - but there arent any other children unfortunately - we are the first in the family and I think the rest of the family are looking forward to a pool-based relaxing holiday - so it would be a good opportunity to show them what holidaying with kids is like...hmm

Well, tbh over 20 people holidaying en masse would probably disturb other guests anyway, so adding 2 small children won't really make much of difference. If you really resent the cost and think it will be no fun at all, then I think you should just say you can't make and give him a nice birthday present.

Hmm - depends what the rest of the family are like with children.Our first holiday with dd when she was one was a real eye opener. We did two weeks in a villa - one week with childless friends and one week with my sisters and cousins. First week was hard - no blame being apportioned here but friends would lie in and doss about which is absolutely fine but we couldn't do the same so it didn't feel like a holiday. Second week my sisters and cousins came - none them had kids at the time but all loved DD and spending time with her would take her to play and swim and even look after her while DH abd I went out for dinner - trade off was that DD would drive them to a night club at about 1 in the morning LOL.

What I am saying is that may be there will be someone in the family who will spend time with your children - especially the older one. It would be a real shame for you all to miss out on this holiday.

Good luck
x

lol chopchop you're right - I hadnt thought about that before...

and yes we could just not go but then we couldnt turn round and book another holiday having said we hadnt the money. Why is family stuff always so hard?

Sorry that should be DH would drive them - not DD - she's very advanced for he age but her feet wouldn't reach the pedals

Worried about being resentful? Just make a decision to not be resentful and to appreciate his generosity then.

enjoy
Your kids will have loads of babysitters - the older ones can sort that while you are partying.

Loads of uncles and aunts to taek them off and swim

ENJOY

Part of me thinks YABU to diss such a generous offer but part of me thinks YANBU because it's you and your DP who will have to keep the dc's entertained. The GP's will take some of the strain won't they? Give you and DP some 'holiday time'? Your FIL would probably be upset if you didn't go - he's invited you because he wants you there after all. Also from your DP's point of view, he'll want to see his Dad on this special birthday won't he?

yes grumbling thats exactly right - my dp has the same concerns as me about the whole thing - more so really cos he's got to find the money for it.

For all the other relatives its a fantastic deal - they get to pay 250 each for a weeks holiday at a lovely hotel but of course we need to find 4 airfares on the one salary for the same thing...