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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to have kept an item I inadvertently 'stole' today?

254 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 09/11/2008 23:04

I was doing supermarket sweep at Tesco's today, huge amount of food in trolley so I hung a maxi pack of Huggies nappies off the hook under the kids seat at the front of the trolley. I paid for all my shopping, then realised when I got to my car that I had walked out with the Huggies still hanging on the hook.

...and then drove off.

AIBU to have kept them?

OP posts:
happywomble · 10/11/2008 08:20

You should have gone back and paid when you realised you had accidentally taken it.

I would phone the store and offer to pay over the phone by debit card. You could say that you only realised when you got back to the car and were late for Drs appt and were unable to rush straight back then.

RubberDuck · 10/11/2008 08:21

I would probably pop to customer services next time I visited, explained that I hadn't realised until I got home, and settled up.

But then again, we got an extra bag of (chilled) shopping in our Sainsbos delivery the other day. I didn't phone up to tell them - have rationalised it that it's a pain to wait in the queue to tell them, I don't really like the extra 3 items I got out of it (skimmed milk, ugh) and as it's chilled they couldn't legally take it back to sell anyway so would have said to keep it (as they have done before when they've mixed up shopping.

Still feel a bit guilty though

CharleeInChains · 10/11/2008 08:29

God what a thread!

I have done this a couple of times, i had screaming baby/toddler in the trolley and was in a rush i mistakently didn't see whatever item it was under my bag in the trolley and walked out with it.

I didn't loose any sleep, i was paying well over £100 for my shopping so i don't think they missed how ever much it was (not expensive i guess)

It's never intentional theft just something that happens.

We all need to get over it and move on.

NorkyButNice · 10/11/2008 08:32

I am astounded that there are so many unprincipled people here on Mumsnet on a Monday morning.

Excusing theft (as that is what it is, plain and simple), because the company in question is a massive corporation just doesn't wash with me. It's not the corporation who will suffer, or even the fat cats who run the company - it's the people who work there who won't get a pay-rise because profits are down, it's the low-paid people who shop there who will all have to pay an extra penny on their pint of milk, and it's your kids who will grow up thinking it's OK to steal because Mummy does it.

You realised you had unpaid for items before you left Tesco property. You should have taken them in and paid for them. No question.

ShowOfHands · 10/11/2008 08:39

Charlee it is intentional theft. You realised you had something that wasn't yours and you decided to keep it. There's the intention and yes, it's theft.

As I already stated, I agree with Norky, don't justify it with 'I paid £100, therefore I can pinch what I like'.

These threads make me sad.

AbbeyA · 10/11/2008 08:39

I really don't think you can say that you wouldn't steal from a small shop but it is OK because it is Tesco!
I have done similar, but only a small thing I missed-it is very easy-I just took it back, aplogised and paid for it.
Having taken them home you are a bit silly to post on here-anyone on this thread gets a hard time!

Pitchounette · 10/11/2008 08:41

Message withdrawn

idlingabout · 10/11/2008 08:57

YABU - it is theft as you made the decision not to go back and pay thereby you had the intention to ''permanently deprive''in the eyes of the law.
However, I hate Tesco with a passion and refuse to shop there for amny reasons too detailed to go into here but some of which include the points made by Edam. But to those of view who seem to think that its ok to take from Tesco you are kidding yourselves if you think it will make any difference to the fact cats who run it. Shop Managers usually have targets for shrinkage levels and it will be the staff who suffer ultimately aswell as you, the customer, when prices increase to cover losses from theft.

DarrellRivers · 10/11/2008 09:08

I don't shop at Tescos as fear they are taking over the world
This doesn't justify stealing from them
When did 2 wrongs make a right
It doesn't 'cancel out'
It's wrong to steal, and this is stealing
Adjust your moral attitudes Op

mm22bys · 10/11/2008 09:16

It takes an extra second to check in the basket under your stroller, or check the top of the stroller for a stray bottle of water (or even wine).

So you didn't "realise" it was there, ignorance is no defence of the law.

We were at M&S the other day, and unbeknowst to me DS1 (4) had picked up a sweet. I made him take it back.

It's the whole principle, and at the same time, it is so easy to check you have at least attempted to pay for everything.

coolma · 10/11/2008 09:19

Sod it, I did that with some baby milk once - didn't feel a shred of remorse!

WaynettaSlob · 10/11/2008 09:23

To jump on the bandwagon here yes, you were wrong. It's not as though you got home and discovered that the cashier had neglected to scan something. You were at fault and were in a position to rectify it and chose not to.

donnie · 10/11/2008 09:24

I think all of us are morally obliged to steal from Tesco as much as possible.

pamelat · 10/11/2008 09:26

It is theft. Its whether you can be ok with that or not.

I know what you mean about its "just Tesco's" but it doesnt make any difference.

Your options are

  1. wish that you had never posted this thread and keep them, unpaid for.
  2. feel slightly better by taking edams suggestion and donating the cost to a charity (its still theft mind you) but I would probably do this to avoid embarassment in store
  3. return to the store and apologise, they will probably be really nice to you and you can feel smug and not be scared of the CCTV on your next visit.

I dont think option 1 is going to make you feel any better?

Buda · 10/11/2008 09:26

Well I have done something similar! We were living in Bulgaria and I had a driver as I didn't drive. Went shopping and had DS in his pushchair. Put stuff on the pushchair as they don't have baby seats in trolleys. No problem. Paid for shopping. Got to car and I took car seat off pushchair and put DS in car. Driver put bag of shopping in car and then I noticed a few things on the base of the pushchair that I hadn't paid for. No normally I would have gone back with them but one item as a pack of tampons and I was mortified in front of the driver and I also knew that no=one in the shop would speak English so I would struggle to explain it all. I put the equivalent in the supermarket charity box next time I was in!

Last Xmas I was shopping in Dublin and afterwards popped into Holland and Barrett with my trolley. Picked up some vits and popped them on the trolley. Then asked one of the assistants about something for my mother, it wasn't suitable so I just got my trolley and left. When I was unloading the trolley I realised I had the vitamins and hadn't paid. Couldn't be bothered going back at that stage but did go back the next day (with DH saying very loudly 'so which ones did you steal?') and I took a pack of the vits to the counter, paid for them and told them to keep them, explaining what had happened. They were totally gob-smacked that I had come back. But as I explained I would prob choke on the vits if I hadn't!

To OP - up to you. But you could pay for them next time you are in. I know it is big bad nasty Tesco but tbh they are very good with charity stuff here in Hungary (don't know about UK) so they are not as bad as they are painted.

PavlovtheCat · 10/11/2008 09:28

I would have done the same. Sorry but I would. I would have pointed it out and paid for it at anytime upon leaving the store had I noticed, but once at the car unpacking, with children in tow, I don't think so.

Don't beat yourself up over it. Its done now. And you will be a bit more conscious of it next time right? Just make sure you hold the door open for a few old ladies to make up for it

I am sure tesco's can cope.

orangehead · 10/11/2008 09:31

several times I have missed something, usually when one of the kids have thrown thier jumper in the trolley with a small item underneath. I have always gone back to pay. I think the local store thinks I am mad anyway

ilovemyflipflops · 10/11/2008 09:50

I completely agree with PavlovtheCat, just forget it now, just make sure everything is out of the trolley next time.

Am i just a common theif too? Tesco a few times have delivered my shopping and brought me extra things i never ordered, last time they brought me some lovely blueberries worth about £3.99 (yum yum my dd helped polish them off, have i made her an accomplice ) although this wasn't technically me stealing as they brought them to me.

But then again we once bought 6 eggs and there were only 5 so tesco owes me an egg if this makes you feel better one of your nappies can be payback for my egg

shitehawk · 10/11/2008 10:02

If they had stopped you on the way out, you would be facing shoplifting charges. Is it the stealing which you think is OK, or just the getting away with it?

And by the way, those who say it's OK to steal from a large corporation like Tesco - it's not Tesco you are stealing from, it's the rest of us. Like every other supermarket, Tesco cover their losses from shoplifting by increasing their prices. It's other shoppers paying the inflated prices which the stores charge to cover such theft who are paying for these things.

mayorquimby · 10/11/2008 10:21

yabu to shoplift and you know it.

flowerybeanbag · 10/11/2008 10:27

YABU, of course you are. You were still in the car park for crying out loud, it's not even as if you had got all the way home and then realised when looking at your receipt.

BexieID · 10/11/2008 10:29

I bet if you get charged twice for something, you either hotfoot it back in there or phone up to complain when you're next in? If you can do that, you can pay for the 'stolen' goods.

I had a car stereo fitted by Halfords. After going in twice and them 'fannying' around with ordering the fascia/booking it in, when the girl asked if i'd paid for everything I said, "well i've paid for the stereo and the fascia, I think thats it". She gave me my keys and off I went. I didn't actually pay for the fitting though , although they can't have done it right as you have to keep changing the time!

I've gone back into shops to pay for sweets and such like that were in the bag and I didn't pick up. I do agree, sometimes it's more hassle than what it's worth queuing up again to return the items, as you don't always get a thank you, but you do leave with a clear conscience.

sunnygirl1412 · 10/11/2008 10:33

People here are saying what I said on a different thread and got a load of abuse for. Supermarket shrinkage has to be paid for, and it doesn't come from the fat cats' money, it comes from increased prices at the tills that hit all of us.

That said, I don't think that the OP is a dreadful person - I can honestly empathise with the reluctance to unload the children from the car, trek back into the store and queue to pay for the nappies - all this at the end of doing the weekly shop which is hell on earth anyway.

Ilikeyoursleeves - I'd go with those who've suggested going to Customer Services next time you're in the shop, telling them what happened, but that you didn't have the time to go back in, and offering to pay for the item. I'd be willing to bet that they'll be pleasantly surprised that you bothered to come back, they'll say nice things about how honest you've been, and your conscience will be clear.

sunnygirl.

Kewcumber · 10/11/2008 10:33

my mum ran a corner shop/post office throughout my childhood. The poeple who did most shoplifting were the ones who spent the most with us - I think they saw it as their right as we were making "enough" profit from them already.

Conversely, have had customers desparately hard up, walk back from their house to pay for something they forgot.

Maxi pack of branded nappies is quite a big "bonus" to award yourself.

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/11/2008 10:37

it's stealing if you don't return it or pay for it,whatever the shop,Tesco or a small retailer...