To think that people should mind their own beeswax when it comes to family size

[Reallytired]

My son is an only child and for years we have had relatives and neighbours telling us that we were somehow depriving him. He is seven years old and I am now expecting another child. The reason for the huge age gap is so that we can actually afford the necessary childcare.

I know other families with only children in real life and they also get insensitive comments. For example my son's best friend is an only child because his baby sister died at birth. His parents are just not emotionally ready to think of having another child. Why should they have to explain their reasons to nosey parkers. Their little boy is one of the nicest children I know. There is no evidenece that he is being harmed by having no siblings.

Reasons for family size are intensely personal and I wish that people would just mind their own business.

Just thinking it also applies to the other extreme. I have a friend with eight kids and she is a fanastic mother.

Definitely not BU. I have 4 DCs and people keep on commenting because we still live in a 2 bed house. It is enoying to have to explain personal choices. If you are happy, your DC will be happy, regardless of how many siblings he could or not have. Surely he sees other children and is not totaly deprived of friends. Even if there is no "painful reason" why you do not want a bigger family it is no one's buisness than yours.

I have 4 and poeple comment. Thats poeple for you. My first 3 were within 3 years so people commented on that too. Then we had an 8 year gap for no 4 and poeple commeneted on that too. Ignore it.

You cannot please some people just ignore them. I wish I'd been an only child.

Nope - you're not being unreasonable. Every family has a unique set of circumstances etc which drive decisions like family size, and you shouldn't have to explain yourself.

yanbu

I'm one of six children and my parents used to get all sorts of comments - I remember a new neighbour's son saying my parents were 'like rabbits' - clearly quoting his parents. There were none of the usual excuses for disapproval - my parents worked, we were comfortably off, well-behaved, all did fine at school. They just thought everyone should have two kids and anyone who didn't should expect criticism, or at least comment.

Anyway, being sensitive to this, our mum drilled into us that certain questions should never be asked and that included Are you pregnant? When are you having another one? and Goodness, how many children are you planning to have?

There are 4.6 yrs before my first 2 and my youngest will be nearly 7 (and I'll be 42) when my 3rd dc is born in June. If anyone thinks any of this is their business I shall be quick to respond! It's sad that people want to poke their noses in but it needn't bother you in the slightest.

I have one child, and when she was younger people I hardly knew thought it was ok to ask when I was having no. 2.

I found it hard to conceive dd, and found there comments rude and insensitive.

People should mind their own business.