to not take a present for both children hosting a party

[Cocodrillo]

If your child had been invited to a jointly hosted party and you only knew one of the host children, and what's more so did your child (as they attend nursery on different days) would you still take a present for each child?

It's in an hour

We had a joint party just last week - my DS and his friend knew 99% of the children equally - there was only one girl there that my DS didn't know, and she didn't bring him a present. Didn't bother me, he certainly didn't even notice, so don't sweat it. Personally I would probably buy a token gift for the other child, but nothing expensive (not that I give expensive presents anyway!). You can get little cars and girly knick-knacks in pound shops you know!

Our party was only slightly bigger than a single party - most of the kids go to preschool together anyway so it would've been duplicating the same guests to have two!

I would only buy for the child I / DC knows.

They will get loads of tat anyway..and won't be any the wiser if they don't get something from everybody.

The presents will just end up in two piles, so noone will know who gave to which child.

Bit late to this, but we had a couple of joint parties for DS1 (when he was 5 and 6).

No way did we expect a present for him from those who were invited by the other boy, and neither did the other boy/mum expect them from my side (we both invited 2/3 extras each alongside the whole class of 15) so about 20 children altogether).

My DD has been to a party for three children. I only bought the one present as I had no idea who the other two children were! There were over 50 children at the party and a ridiculous number of presents.

unknownrebelbang, did you GET presents from people invited by the other child though?

We took one for both in the end, but the present we took for the 'unknown child' was comparatively shite.

Gosh my DD has been to two joint parties now-we didnt know either of the other children the parties were shared with and TBH it never even occurred to me to take them a present-feel embarrassed now!

i definitely would not buy for the other child.
any parties my DDs have been to which were joint always said "girls please buy a present for katy, boys for richard" etc...

if it didn't say this and i knew both children then i would probably buy a small present for each (smaller than i would normally buy)

but if i didn't even know the other child then definitely not. why would you?

We're having a joint party for dd (7) in January as she has a friend whose birthday is 2 days later. Rather than go through the nightmare of co-ordinating dates with the mum and trying to figure out who gets the prime Friday or Saturday slot we decided to join up. It also stops parents having to drag kids out to a winter party twice in the space of a few days.

They're asking around 25 people between them (this is LESS than DD usually asks on her own...don't ask!) some of whom they both want to see, some of whom are friends with one more so than the other.

The invites will say from squillygirl if it's just squilly girl who wants them there othergirl if the other girl wants them there and bothgirls if they both want them there.

I wouldn't be miffed if someone didn't get dd a pressie unless they were a close friend.

In terms of party bags, we're not putting much in them, but we're having a tombola, a snackshop and a tattoo stall at the party, so the kids will leave with lots of stuff anyway

I don't think you would have been unreasonable to not get the second child a gift. If you know the one child more it makes sense that they get the better gift.

Coco - no we didn't.

I did a joint party for dd because another girl in her class shared her birthday. It just made sense to do it that way. It did make organising it easier, and it was fun doing it with someone else, but it was absolutley nothing to do with the cost, I would have had the same party had it just been for dd.

A joint party ds1 was invited to specified bringing one present only as they'd be sharing them between the hosts.

In your circs YANBU, why buy a present for a child you don't know?

Surfermum, I don't think anyone was suggesting that people who do joint parties are cheapskates. There's nothing wrong in trying to cut costs in any case, that's certainly been a plus point for us. So not taking a gift for both children isn't some form of punishment for the hosts, it just makes sense that if you don't know both children you don't buy them both a gift.

There were a couple of comments that implied that the reason people do joint parties is to make it cheaper:

"The parents have clubbed together to make the party cheaper"

"I've always felt a bit put out by all this joint party business, of course it's to make the party cheaper"

All I was saying was that in my case that wasn't the reason behind the joint party. I would have happily paid for the whole lot if it had just been dd's party.

Whereas in Reception, it was the reason DS1 had a joint party.

He and another lad had August birthdays, which are difficult to accommodate anyway, and we were moving house. Had the other mum not suggested the joint party, DS1 wouldn't have had one that year. We were all happy, and as far as I could tell the other parents were happy because they only had to remember one party during the summer holidays.

My dd had a joint party recently - the children who would have gone to both parties anyway got a joint invite and the children who would have only gone to one only got an invite from that child.

So I would only by one present if I were you