To feel a bit sorry for/ guilty about my second child?

[AphroditeInHerNightie]

Hi all,
I have two DCs - DD(7) and DS(3).
Somehow, despite all my best efforts DS always seems to be trailing after his sister either when we take her for activities or she has friends round to play. Either that or he's left behind with me when she goes off to friend's houses.
Can't help feeling sorry for the little tyke and a bit guilty that I can't involve him as much.
Is this a normal reaction? I do try and take him on playdates and on acivities when his sister is at school but once she gets home her needs seem to take precedence.

She's bigger, she's louder, it is understandable that she grabs your attention more when they are both together.

He's only 3, I am increasingly bemused by the hectic social lives talked about on MN of very very small children and the insistence by some MNers that yes, little Johnny aged 2.2 does have a best friend, actually. I don't think children of that age do. They have people that they are used to being around, but certainly my DS will play with any child, of any age, who is prepared to play with him. Apart from his cousin who he sees all the time and has since birth, he expresses or shows no preferences for any child above any other.

I was the youngest of three and what I remember of my very early life consisted of admiring my older brothers and trailing round after them trying to keep up. Presumably your DS is fed, warm, clothed, kissed and cuddled regularly and seems happy enough?

I really wouldn't worry about it tbh. Try to get his elder sister to tell him about what she has done or involve him as much as possible, but it is natural that she should want your attention when she comes home from school. They both have to learn to share you.

Concur with georgimama.

I found my younger two gradually asserted themselves as they got older.

Once they're at school they make their own friends and develop their own interests. Prior to that they just did whatever the family was doing, which tended to be what their older brother was doing during the week.

Provided you don't veto his requests for playdates and activities once he starts making them, then I don't think there's anything to feel guilty about.

It's actually not a bad mix: the little one gets mum 9-3 and the big one gets mum 3 til bedtime! Presumably ds is/ will be at preschool or nursery soon so will get his own set of playdates - maybe you could encourage that.

But re the trailing around - there's really no way round this one, so as long as he has a bag with his toys or packed tea or whatever, I think you really are doing what's best for each one.

Now when you have 3 to consider....
Lots of trailing around then, and EVERYONE can complain vociferously!