by getting pissed/emotional and THEN using this and giving him what for!

[Limara]

It's my birthday and OUR 10yr anniversary and I have told him the truth about how unhappy I am. I have got emotional and lary as I am always SO SO grateful to be out and bloody perky but tonight Matthew... I'm not having it! I NEVER expected him to just say I'm going to bed? I was SO serious but how can he go to bed?

From what I can gather, no YANBU.
What did you say to him?

Calm down youve had a drink think things through he probably just feels abit hurt, leave it until morning and see what happens.

he's a man Limara! Have u more drink? Continue your night without him and start again 2moro? or even sunday.

I brought EVERYTHING up. You know those unconcious things you bury way deep deep down, and those things you really weren't bothered with at the time, well brought them up! Even brought stuff up about our wedding day, the fact I didnt see him and I went home on our wedding day and did two loads of washing and went back to the hotel later and found him passed out on the bed and rallied him back to the reception OMG I 'm annoyed.

Is it things that have built up or are you annoyed about something else?

I'm sick to death of making the effort... We were at my friends tonight because I made him go(my birthday). Trust me, I am so understanding of how he feels but he doesnt have friends that socialise.
He didn't even get me a birthday card from the children and no present.

That sucks.
What do you want to do?
Make him change a bit or make it end?

I feel we have seen a new side of each other tonight. I have been so nasty but that's how I feel I really do. He said he knew I felt like that

The worm has turned, no more Mr nice guy.....

I have been so so so tolerant but FFS i have a life too. I was concerned He was ok tonight but it's my fucking birthday WTF. I am like his mother!

He did his man thing and retreated which makes me feel like he's been found out and he know's he has that's why he f**ced off to bed IYSWIM?

I 'get it' completely.
Even if I have been the one that has got pissed off DP goes to bed and leaves me feeling shite, not always, but it has happened.
What you need to do, IMO, is ignore the reality and just focus on getting him to understand why you;re annoyed.

dittany, 12yrs worth of messy. I didn't even know I was that pissed off with our wedding day but 'Where was he when I left for home on our wedding day?

Why didn't he come and look for me?

Why didn't he seek me out and touch base with me?

I am mortified that I wore blinkers for years without questioning things.

I am so tolerant and laid back. tbh, I cant believe he cares so little now that's the biggest shock.

I noticed that too dittany. All running away with their tail between their legs.
Sometimes I think we should just imagine ^their reaction in the same situation and calm it by a bout 10%.

Limara, if it bothers you, then it bothers you, you can't be expected to justify giving him years of free rein if it's bothered you all this time and you've just not said anything because you want to keep it calm!

I even went to see Jimmy Bond tonight becuase of him, never again...

I'm sure we can fnd you a daniel craig excuse

TBH, it all boils down to sex, he will only have sex with me if I am clean and showered and shaven WTF!! I have gone along with his like a frigging moonie

I love him so was prepared to do this but not any more... why should I? what about spontinaety

Sex is a personal thing and if he prefers clean I can't comment, but shaven? Seems like a step too far, IMO.
Have you told him just how knackered you are? Has he done the night shift?

I just can't articulate what I want to say as I'm so tired and myt head hurts now. VictorianSqualor, your a good eggI did want to talk so thank you but I feel ill now, have a bad headache coming on so will skidaddle off.

I will persure my issues with him tomorrow and can't let things fester especially now as I have been so acidic and really nasty.

No going back...

I'm a good egg? I'll store this quote
Hope you can sort things out.
x