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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

expecting to be asked before neigbours buidlers climb over my fence into my property to do some work ...

19 replies

prada · 07/11/2008 20:29

on their extension without my knowledge or permission while i was out one morning and only leaving a note assuming it would be okay, saying not to worry that i wasn't home and that she'd have them climb over my fence and job would only take 30 minutes but 5 hours later they where back again on a ladder when i opened up my patio blinds (shock]

she wants access again next week so has texted me, apologised for not realising i would be so upset about her builders in my garden but not apologised for not asking first and being rude.

am i on another planet?????

OP posts:
wrinklytum · 07/11/2008 20:33

DP is a joiner and he read your thread and said "CHEEKY bxxxxxDS".So from the Wrinkly household YANBU!

Neenztwinz · 07/11/2008 20:35

I can see why you were a bit to open the blinds to them in the garden, but have they done any harm/damage in climbing over? Would you even know it had happened if it had only been 30 mins when you weren't even in?

It wouldn't bother me but it is your garden and if you don't want them there tell her so.

pinkspottywellies · 07/11/2008 20:35

YANBU! How rude!

FairLadyRantALot · 07/11/2008 20:36

I can kinda understand where you are coming from...but, it would not botehr me all that much if it was me, so, I suppose I think you are a little bit unreasonable....however...I will most likely be outnumbered by lots of people feeling the same way as you!

Your neighbour obviously really didn't realise that you would be upset by it, and therefore she might not feel the need to apologize...iykwim...!
Do you normally get on?

Original poster
prada · 07/11/2008 20:39

FairLadyRantALot is that you sally from numer 22??

OP posts:
wonderwoman73 · 07/11/2008 20:40

Well hey you could always improve neighbourly relations by telling her you're gonna sue her builders for trespassing. Oh, and you've got a shotgun you're prepared to use on anyone who steps on your land again

Let it go, life's too short...

echt · 07/11/2008 20:41

YANBU. Your neighbour is out of order. If you or your neighbour wants to sell later, one of the questions you will be asked is if either of you needs access to the other's property to do maintainence/repairs. This has to be answered truthfully so you don't get comeback from your buyer.

It's up to you how you want to handle this. If it flares up into any kind of dispute, you have to declare that too.
They shouldn't ever climb the fence as it could be damaged, and your permission should have been sought.

FairLadyRantALot · 07/11/2008 20:41

lol, no...it's not your neighbour....I assume that is who you think I am, lol!

FairLadyRantALot · 07/11/2008 20:45

oh, she obviously did realise, in a way, despite lack of apology, that it will be better to ask you in advance...so, she learnt her lesson...

btw...whilst it would not bother me personally, I would not allow that to happen knowlingly.

Original poster
prada · 07/11/2008 21:03

lol FairLadyRantALot!!

thanks for all your replies!

first time i wasn't in, covered by note she sent through my front door (no text or call on mobile though) but second time was taking the piss as i was home!!

i don't want to worry about who i may see outside my window in my garden on a ladder when i wander around my open plan living/kitchen/dining room wearing whatever i want iykwim.....

i for some reason don't like people being on my property without my knowledge especially when i am not home and blinds wide open!!!

OP posts:
Neenztwinz · 07/11/2008 21:23

That's totally understandable. YANBU

Anglepoise · 07/11/2008 21:42

YANBU

Similar thing happened to me, except I did give them permission to go into my garden - via my house - and when I didn't answer the door they climbed over our fence, which meant I finished my shower and walked into my bedroom to find two builders a couple of feet away outside the French window (ground floor flat)

scaryteacher · 08/11/2008 13:13

Similar thing happened to me, but it was the man down the hill whose garden backs onto mine. He was too damn idle to walk up the hill, knock on my door, and ask if he could come onto my property (we have issues with this particular individual); so he put a ladder either side of the wall that separates the gardens and used them to climb from one side to the other.

DH was working abroad, and I was on my own with ds, and I was livid. I didn't bother to speak to him as I would have really lost my temper, so I moved the ladder on my side of the wall to the other patio so he couldn't see it and ensured that the ladder on his side was pushed away from the wall and on to the grass.

He has been such a pain that now the house is let he is not allowed on to my proerty without contacting my letting agent and her going out to see if his access is necessary.

YANBU - I would make it plain that permission has to be sought and granted before access is permitted.

ManxMum · 08/11/2008 13:35

Our next door neighbour thought he had the right to take down the boundary fence, tresspass on to our garden AND then build his conservatory over the boundary line. He then said he had to have access into our garden to clean and maintain his conservatory windows (usually whilst we were out) and our back door key went missing. Needless to say, 6 foot fence has been erected and lock changed!! He also told us that our front garden was communal and he had the right to walk accross it when he pleased. Hence front garden is not fenced.

cheshirekitty · 08/11/2008 14:48

Do what my mil did. She charged her neighbours £100 per week for having scaffolding on her driveway. Then she used their skip to put garden rubbish (did not ask) and used the neighbours builders to do jobs for her (did not pay them, or ask the neighbours if she could use them).

I think she was bu. YANBU. They should have asked.

MadCreamLady · 08/11/2008 15:24

YANBU, i think that the first time, if you wasn't in and they were just doing a quick job that would have been delayed if they waited for you - then OK, it was a bit cheeky but i wouldnt have spit my dummy about it. But the fact that they came back without asking was out of order. I would expect them to knock first - you could have been shagging on the kitchen tablet for all they knew reminds me of the time that DP and i managed to get an afternoon at home once - only to have the window cleaner cleaning the window and we had forgotten to pull the curtains

controversial · 09/11/2008 18:18

YANBU, She should have asked first time in person/by phone and I can understand why second time unannoucned you got upset!

I would hate it if I found strangers on my property without my knowledge and yes what if you where shagging on the kitchen table!! NOT ON!

ChukkyPig · 09/11/2008 18:24

ManxMum did you go to the planning people? Your neighbours can't build on your land!

Prada YANBU if I opened the curtains and saw a load of strange men in my garden I would shit myself!

lingle · 10/11/2008 11:25

Manx Mum,

I've had similar. He's a bully. Horrid man.

His uneducated wife is in denial and screamed at DH and me like a fishwife when we objected to finding strangers in our garden pulling up our shrubs.

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