To not give a flying fuck that my FIL is visiting tomorrow and not dash around to be a great host?

[babyonboardarocket]

Given the facts that

• his wife reported us to social services for neglect and he covered for her and took her side amid the ensuing mayhem. (after two home visits case closed and fat waste of important resources!)

• after much apology we allowed him to see the children again and he ignored me the whole night

• my dp is expecting me to not only take DS to preschool, go to the gp with DD, do essential grocery shopping and pick up my new contact lenses (all on foot as I don't drive) but to also have the house gleamingly clean and have a perfect dinner ready for his arrival.

I'm not I know it. But oh am I mad.

sounds like chippy for tea.

in your shoes i might arrange to just be out at a friends

If only life was so simple. I am sorely tempted, but if I do it will be seen as a snub and his wife will twist it to god knows what, again.

Is his wife coming as well? You're a nicer person than I am - if anyone did that to me, they wouldn't be crossing my threshold again, or having contact with my kids.

Grandparents do NOT have rights over your children; they are only see them because you are kind enough to allow it. If they are giving you grief, or still being unpleasant, then tell your dh that they are not welcome. You are an adult, you do not have to take any shit from your dh's family.

they would not be welcome in my house if they did that to me.

Jeez.... you're a better person than I am. I wouldn't have them anywhere NEAR me or my kids. What an evil pair.... on your behalf!

Me too - if I was in your position this man and his evil wife would not be allowed near my kids. Why? So he can cause them more hurt and upset? Don't think so. I keep poisonous people away from my family. I do not entertain them. If he really has to come you can ignore him and send dh out for chips.

I agree with other posters. What does your DH think? Does he want to keep contact with his dad?

I would be going around to a friends and letting them get their own tea.

Your Dh needs to put his foot down with his dad - YOU are his family now!
I would probably allow your FIL in on the understanding that your DH sets some ground rules with your FIL about treating you with respect, but his wife would be banned permanently.

You're having his wife around for dinner???After what she did? They should just be bloody greatful that she's not the main course.

I think your dp should see them on his own, if he really wants to see them after what they did. You shouldn't have to do anything either for or with them.

No WAY would I ever be in his/his wifes presence again.

It is too risky, he may do something else in the future.
Why the hell is your dp allowing contact, what does he say about it all?

Sorry, but they would never be allowed into my house again. They would also never be allowed contact with my DCs either.

You can't trust them and may even pull a stunt like this in the future. Why does you DH still want to see them?

Tell your DH to grow a pair.

Thankyou everyone. It was a year ad a half ago that it happened, he has seen the DC once since and he is fully aware his wife will never see them again, nor will they ever go to his house. He has apologised so I just have to grin and bear it I suppose. The rest of that side of the family live abroad so FIL is their only family here.

I forgot to mention, shortly after it happened they got married and his wife had the biggest tantrum when we said there was no way we would be attending. She is slightly mental, they are having massive marriage problems and counselling already.

YANBU. How could you trust them ever again after what has happened?

let us know what happened when he came over....