to take the DCs and leave DH even though his behaviour has improved?

[CozIveAdEnough]

The temper and swearing continues but the outbursts are less frequent, the casual slapping the children for no real reason continues....

Now our DCs are copying him - why wouldn't they? They think it's normal behaviour!

I can't forget what has gone before despite his attempts to improve I feel like we are all just waiting for the next outburst.

will be back later to the verdict.

It's easy to say, 'leave him...' but you need to think about what will happen in the future. You and the DCs will go where? And how will you manage financially

Is he nasty all the time or are there periods of reason?

Obviously if you are scared of him and are afraid what he will do, especially as now you have asked him to leave, then just go. Anywhere.

But if you do leave, then it could get complicated as far as the property is concerned long term (assuming you own the house and it's in joint names)

You know that you can get him excluded from the family home if domestic abuse is an issue.

he's gone.

What happened? Are you all okay?

What happened? Are you all okay?

hope you are fine?

Sorry for echo!

Yes, we're fine thanks.

He has agreed he needs to go, all amicable and hopefully the start of a solution after many yrs.

We have no friends or family locally who I could go to and DC1 has school to attend so he had to go.

blimey, I didn't expect that !

coz, hope you are ok and things stay amicable for you all round

So glad you are all safe. Have you had advice from a DV support group? The stage where an abusive partner leaves can be a dangerous one and it sounds like you could use a bit of support.

Thanks Stefka - have support on board HV, docs etc - and MN

ILMD - will be in touch asap this plus DS not well arrrghhh!

Coz, Brave girl. Now look after your little one and give your self a treat. I wish I could send over some bubblebath, choc and Doris day film to lift your sprits. Keep in touch and I wish you and and your children the best of health.

good luck!

even though he's gone, I would still hide important paperwork and sort out bank etc, just in case things don't remain amicable.

Thanks folks

Yes definitely mixed feelings but I think it is for the best - just have to keep reminding myself of that, especially since DCs 1 and 2 seemed a bit upset about him going (DC3 is too young to realise thankfully!)

Starbear - like the idea of a treat!

Thanks for you help everyone

How is DS?

Has he gone temporarily, or is it more of a 'trial separation?'

Hope ypu get the space you need to work it out...

Not something new but why are you waiting for others opinion when you should be out the door? For your safety and your childrens...what are you waiting for?
Just because you state you aren't a troll doesn't mean you hang around and see how many pages you can generate.
I wish you luck, get moving.

She's not out the door because he left...

no, she is not out the door because he left but because she is still hoping that this will solve everything or at least step toward it.
She needs to get things moving for him to stay out. If he is just playing at going then he will be back...legally he has every right and this "going" is only him going out and doing things she is not aware of.
She still needs to have a plan in case he comes back. Research where you can go. What you need to do to change schools etc.
This doesn't sound like something new, just a drawn out version of more of the same. Only time will tell.
Still, he isn't going to solve this just by his leaving anyway. She has to make some moves for her and the children too.
Again...get moving.

No I don't mind if this solves everything or not - either way I'm not putting up with any more of it.

I'm not going anywhere unless it is the right thing for me and the DCs and DC1 has only just started school, she is happy there and she won't be moving unless it became very neccessary.

That said, the research is all done. I know what to do, how to do it, where to go. I have to - I have 3 young DCs who depend on me for everything.

Anyway, enough page generating . Not taking the mick, you're right - I just wanted a quick opinion when I had no other people to ask. The decision is mine because I'm the one armed with all the facts. It always helps to get a few opinions on board and I'm very grateful for anyone who takes the time and effort to give theirs.

ILMD DS improving a bit thanks - nice trip to emergency docs did the job

You seem remarkably calm... relieved perhaps?

email me when you get a chance...