to have just shoutd at my children and now they are both crying.

[mou]

Because I am absolutely fed up of them arguiing and bickering within seconds of being in each others company.
I have never shouted at them like this before and I feel crap but I am sick and tired of it.
We don't get to school in the morning without it and this will continue until bedtime if my son stays in.
I mostly ignore it and only get involved if I am sure of what has gone on. They wind each other up over the pettiest of things and vie for my attention, I give one a hug or some fuss and immediately the other is being mardy.
I give them both lots of attention, take DD(5) running, and DS(10) cycling, do their homework with them, talk about both their days but the minute they are not the centre of my world it all falls apart. I give lots of praise and compliments and make sure life is as fun as we can afford.

We have three pots of money, they have one each and one is mine. If they are mean or misbehaved they lose money, either to my pot or to each others pot, but good behaviour earns them money from mine, but at the moment even if I remind them it lasts five minutes.

I am tired, demoralised and not enjoying being their mum any more. Now I am bloody crying. I am on anti- depressants but work very hard at being positive and calm for their benefit. I know it has upset them to see me flip ( I have not said anything unkind or inappropriate but did shout very loud). I always give a big smile when I see them and talk positively but what for? We only walk 3 or 4 hundred yards home from school and they can be at each others throats by the time we get to the front door.

I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE.

for you mabel, hope you have a better day...come and join my rant any time you like. At least mine go to school.

Thanks mou, they are off to the MIL's today....thank god

My Mum used to say she had a migraine and then look wobbly then have us worry about her and we run around fetching glasses of water and wet flannels. Funny how this all stopped when my brother moved out. My brother was an nightmare. I didn't have to be in the room for him to up to something. Sneak out of the house at 3 yrs old, bite the nose of a dog 2years, play with matches, break my uncles sink while we were staying with them in France, steal money, eat until he was sick. Tell wopping lies, cheat at every game. When she was pregnant again she dreaded having a boy. Then my baby brother pop out and he was easy going laid back lad that the neighbours used to love have him over. We thank god my older brother moved to Canada best place for him. He is doing well with two boys of his own.

starbear - i worry about my DS2, he is only 2, but seems like he has the makings of someone like your brother!
If there's something to be broken, he will break it. No matter how many times i tell him not to do something, he just does not listen. I thought DS1 was a handful, but not a patch on DS2.
Thank god this time round I'm having a girl...

mabel1973 I forgot he also broke unbreakable Tonka toys, taught my sister to do ugly faces at me Made me late for school as well.

have only read op so sorry if this has been suggested.
Have you heard/read the book 'siblings without rivalry' by faber and mazlish? Dh has been reading it and sounds good!

In the mean time. Big hugs!!!!

Mou, you are a saint if you have never made your kids cry by shouting at them!

Mine are bickering alot at the moment, and the only thing that works is zero tolerance - straight to their rooms as soon as they start for 5mins time out. Sometimes I shout as well! if we are out, I start docking their TV time, though I let them earn it back by NOT bickering!

My friend says she and her brother were the same!

Mou - don;t worry about it love, my 2 boys are 4 and 2 and they do nothing but kick the crap out of each other and yes i have been known to shout at them.

It is just so exhausting to hear 'mum ds2 has bit me' 'mum ds1 did it'

I hear you definitely! DS is 6 and DD is 4 - she is the loveliest little girl when he is at school. Likewise, DS is super kind and thoughtful after she has gone to bed. But put them together....

The worst thing that I find is when DH comes home, and I've had enough, he says "what happened?" I cannot give him one example! It all seems trivial stuff, it's just the fact it's near enough constant and my patience is not what it was pre kids!

The MN mantra "this too shall pass" surely applies to this?

Impressed that your Dh reads books like that mads1! Might order it from the library (can't afford anymore books on bringing up children).

DD is responsive to treats and time out but my DS is another story, on lots of threads. He doesn't always start it but generally if he leaves her alone we do OK.

But he is what I call an 'anthill poker' (with most of life!) and her being content in her own little world is enough to wind him up.

It is not the first time I have shouted at them but I am close to both of them and the minute 'mum' gets really cross they fall apart (don't always behave any better though), and don't take much notice of me the rest of the time.

And whist I wouldn't wish it on anyone, it is nice to know I am not alone............