To think dh should phone his own blardy mother?

[theSuburbanDryad]

We are nearing the completion on our new house, and will hopefully be moving by the end of the month. MIL has been involved from the start, as our deposit came from dh's godfather (and was always meant for dh) as an inheritance, but was willed to MIL.

Basically, MIL has been acting like it's her money - which it isn't, it never was, it was dh's godfather's, who then willed it to dh, through MIL so dh's evil psycho ex couldn't get her hands on it.

MIL has been hassling me ever since they got back off holiday (Monday), phoning me 20+ times a day and asking when I'm bringing ds down to see them, and I'm frankly sick of it. For example, dh spoke to her on Monday, and said, "No, Urban won't be coming down to see you on Wednesday, as she has made other plans with friends." So yesterday MIL phones, "Are Urban and ds coming down tomorrow?" NO! WE ALREADY TOLD YOU WE WEREN'T!!

Now dh wants me to phone her to tell her that we are nearing completion on the new house, that we have a definite date for moving and also that we have found out the sex of the new baby (no - I'm not going to tell you lot, it's a surprise!) and I really don't want to. I just can't be arsed. I don't expect dh to phone my mother, so why should he expect me to phone his?

AIBU?

yanbu

inlaws = dh's work, not ours

It's the way she's being over this whole money for the deposit thing as well. It's quite a lot of money, but it's not her money - it never was her money. But she's acting like she's doing us this huge favour, which actually she hasn't.

It's dh's godfather who gave us the money, in his will, so really nothing to do with her at all...

I can see exactly where you are coming from but unfortunately it is just something you are going to have to do for family harmony.

You are probably a lot more pissed off with her now than you would have been if you had spoken to her directly. Three way communication usually ends up being really irritating.

YANBU.

H & I had this for ages too till I started asking him to call my mum and tell her xyz (anything from dates of visits to s1's latest sporting news or did she see that recipe in the paper) & he rather huffily got the point

And at your surprise!

yanbu, i got seriously irritated that i had to send thank you cards to "his" rellies for baby pressies, never mind ringing his mother...

We have reached a compromise.

He is to tell her that we're coming down for Sunday dinner and we'll tell them everything then.

Result! (Hey - at least I get a Sunday roast out of it! )

YANU. It's amazing how many DH/P's expect their DW/P's to keep in constant contact with their own mothers but never consider doing the dame for their MILs (am I making sense?) Anyway, tell him to speak to the old bag himself.

I have the same problem. My MIL has spoken to her local priest (without my consent) about getting our kids baptised next time we are at her house, because we haven't sorted anything out yet (they are 2 and 6). We haven't even agreed yet whether they will be definitely catholic ! My mum said my MIL had rang her and asked her to tell me (cos she knew what my reaction would be). After a week of chewing my dh about ringing her, I had to do it and tell her to butt out of our business !

Its a men thing. My dh won't even ring for a pizza, he presses the number then flings the phone at me to speak. Grrrrrr

I refused to get mil's b.day present this year and passed responsibility to DP. Reminded him and everything. So of course she didnt get one and WHO looks bad? ME!
YANBU!

DH is responsible for everything to do with his family - cards, gifts, phone calls the lot. Until he remembers to buy a present for my Great aunt etc, it will stay that way.

I make this arrangement very clear, and although I will remind him, I refuse to be blamed for it.

my dh wont even answer the [hone, which is a major annoyance when i am at work and need him to answer

I think you are being slightly unreasonable though. She most probably just wants to be involved and its much harder as the mother of a son to try and get involved with your daughter in law and grandchildren iykwim. Try not to let her irritate you too much and keep using that answer phone