Because this time I don't think I am but I may have blinkers on!

[LoveMyGirls]

Aibu to want to hire a cleaner 1 morning a week (even 2hrs a week) throughout the summer holidays because

1. i'm a childminder and will have up to 7 children through the summer hols.
2. we are getting married the week after the dc's go back to school.
3. I will be spending my weekends either doing wedding stuff or organising/ relaxing for the next week.
4. I cant take much, if any time off before the wedding. ( my mum will have a week off to run around but theres no way i'd expect her to clean up)
5. I'm due my ofsted inspection when we get back off our honeymoon and would like the house to be as clean as it usually is.
6. it's dd2's birthday the day after we get back from honeymoon so whatever free time i do have will be spent sorting things for that.
7. I don't want to look a wreck and be burnt out on my wedding day or worst of all too tired to enjoy it!
8. the extra money I will earn will more than pay for the cleaner

Df's against a cleaner because he thinks its a waste of money (money we could use to buy me a new car or save for a house but they're going to cost thousands so the money i'd spend on a cleaner is a drop in the ocean.

Any one know if I could get a cleaner on a short term basis also how much they charge?

Thanks

If he thinks a cleaner is too much, let him do the cleaning himself.

anywhere bewtween £7 - £18 per hour.

seriously 2 hours per WEEK

shock horror that might add up to £20

call the treasury

there is going to be an economic crisis

YANBU, as long as you can afford it, 2hrs a week would obviously be a big help to you. If we had the money spare I know I would.

Not sure how much they charge though, you could look in your local paper or on the ad boards of you local supermarket or shop for one.

You could maybe get a student (who would be off over summer) to do the cleaning?

I'm with SoupDragon. I'm thinking about doing the same IF Ofsted give me that variation I talked about.....and there's NOTHING my dh could do about it!!!

YANBU, will it continue after the wedding and Ofsted ?

If dp is against it that much then buy him an apron and rubber gloves.

Can you pay for a cleaner as a business expense?

LMG's I have (or had she has just left [sob][sob]) a cleaner every friday for 3 hours.

When you have 7 children and are doing a 50/60 hour week with paperwork, and a wedding to prepare for you need one!

Do you want me to come talk to your DP!

That's what I was going to say Uriel- I think it's tax deductable (so technically G Brown paying for cleaner - hurrah!), but you'd have to check that for your particular situation with an accountant.

I would not like to have a cleaner because I do not like the idea of someone being in my house unsupervised (+ to be honest I think I would clean BEFORE her so she does not see how much grim can accumulate in a 4DC household).
But under the circonstances, because you have definitely a lot on your plate I would consider it.If only just for enough time for you to to get wedding, honeymoon , chidren and OFSTED behind.

If I don't feel like cleaning up I don't but as a childminder your home is also your place of work and needs to be kept clean, so this is a business expense. It's not up to him whether you spend money on toys or other equipment you need for your work is it?

If its not a business expense then just say that if he doesn't want a cleaner, he can do the cleaning. You are both working so I don't see why it's your responsibility anyway?

I'm sure there are plenty of things he spends £20 a week on that he could do without far more easily.

Df is still saying no,I've rung my accountant and he said yes I can put it through my books (or most part at least)so I rang df but he said no because I dont earn enough to pay tax anyway so its still costing us money we dont have, he really thinks even with me earning more we can't afford it because we'll be paying for the wedding I think if we're careful with money we can afford it and it will be worth it for the time it will buy me. Df says we can do it together in the evenings, so he thinks I can work all day from 8am until 6pm then do our dinner put our kids to bed and then tidy and clean up ready for the next day (i know ill have to do some cleaning up at the end of everyday but to do it properly it would have to be done at weekends and if im doing wedding stuff and cleaning at weekends plus working all day and evenings then when the hell am i going to get chance to relax?)

As for him doing all of it, I really doubt it, he says himself the mess is mostly from my business so why should he clean it up? He is helpful when he gets in from work with regards to our dd's he baths dd2 and does dd1's homework with her and empties the dishwasher but it's the constant wiping down and mopping and cleaning the bathrooms that get me down.

Thanks anyway.

that reads like its only the bathrooms that get cleaned I do mean the whole downstairs, kitchen diner mainly the rooms that need doing.

Could you tell him that you'd have less money if you weren't able to keep the childminding business going because you're exhausted/ill through overwork etc. Exaggerating, but you get the point.

It seems so short-sighted of him.

Can you get the "Minded Children" to help with the cleaning as an "educational experience"
Surely the OFSTED would love that, or won't they????

Could be good to try Uriel's way.

I've said to him I've been asked to have an 8th child (who is an angel) but it would mean picking her up and dropping her off which would add to my long hours but she's a lovely child and gets on really well with all the others etc but I can't afford to make my day even longer if I'm not getting any paid help (paid help you can rely on, dp not so much, bearing in mind he wants to go away for 4 days for his stag do in the middle of the summer hols) so the way I see it is if I take this child on I'll earn enough to pay a cleaner as an added bonus as those of you have said it can go through my books therefore keeping my tax bill down, as df has said a lot of our money will be spent on the wedding next year so if I have hardly any business expenses then I will get a hefty tax bill anyway on top of the heavier work load which seems stupid to me. Am i being silly?

He can't have it both ways. He can't refuse to help on the basis that the mess is from your business and then refuse to allow you to spend such money on your business.

I wouldn't even discuss it with him, to be honest. If it is your business to the extreme of him refusing to help clean up after, then it is your business to spend money on as you choose. Nothing to do with him. If he feels entitled to make those sort of business decisions, he can get his rubber gloves on!

At the moment he is saying I'll help but I know it won't last and I'll end up trying to do it all and I won't be able to and the thing that doesn't get done will be me relaxing/ having a rest and i'll end up burnt out.

When the house is a mess not only does it make me feel down (which I don't need when I'm caring for 7/8 children esp my days are long and tiring) but it doesn't give a good impression to my customers. The fact my house gets a mess is good because it means the kids have had fun/ explored/ enjoyed their day etc but when it doesn't get properly cleaned up that's when it isn't good enough, it needs to kept hygenic and I need to be able to have enough energy to play with them and take them out etc I need my wits about me while I'm caring for that many children. I know I can do it because I did it last week but I had the weekend before and after kept clear so I could concentrate on my work, I even had dd's looked after by pil on saturday night so I could get a good lie in after a busy week.

Why isn't he listening? Why is the only thing he says "we can't afford it" I will help we can afford it because if we don't I won't take on the 8th child therefore losing £80- 120 a week plus the tax bill.

Why not draw up a rota for very day of the week showing him what you are both going to have to do if you don't get a cleaner. Make sure it's good and detailed. Give him the stuff to do which is not directly related to the business - cleaning bathrooms, filling dishwasher, washing machine etc, ironing,so you can do the CM related cleaning up. Seem keen to fulfil your part of the deal.

Perhaps if he can see he will have to spend the majority of each night very busy he might reconsider the cleaner issue. Personally would tell him to shove it and get a cleaner anyway and stuff what he thinks - but then I am a bit like that and I understand you don't want to rock the boat.

I second the rota idea.
Draw up a list of everything the cleaner would do each week.
Explain to him which parts he will need to do instead to make it possibel for you to do without the cleaner.
Tell him in no uncertain terms that the only reason you will agree to not having the cleaner is if he sticks to the rota.
If he slacks off more than once then hire a cleaner!

If you can claim it as a business expense and it's your business, why does he get a say?

I have my own business, and DH wouldn't dream of questioning any expenses I incur in the course of running it which might therefore affect my actual income.

Agree with wingandaprayer, I understand you don't want to rock the boat, but if it's a business expense and the business is yours and operated by and owned by you..

Have had a wonderful idea, can't believe I didn't think of it sooner, plus it wont cost us a penny!

If df takes 1 day a week off over the summer (like he would have had to do if i was out working ft) then he can help me with transport (he can transport our 2 dd's) then he can come back clean up then come and pick them up again) plus he can spend the afternoons doing wedding things or helping me with dinner so not only does it cost nothing but he can also help me with the other things that need to be done too that way we might both be able to spend 1 day a week (sunday) just relaxing (or doing food shopping/ laundry) obviously the weekend he has his stag do will be a struggle but it's do-able isn't it Now all I have to do is get him to agree!

We have now sorted things out, I'm getting a cleaner over the summer hols, 2 hours a week then a deep clean AND dp is going to take some time off work to help out with the wedding/ lifts and keeping on top of things in general. I'm much happier and calmer already

Thanks everyone!