To expect dh to discuss the situation with me before giving his notice

[prettypurpledaisy]

Got home today from long stressful day at work to find a letter accepting my husband's resignation. He had not even told me he was contemplating anything of the sort.
He has been offered a better paid job elsewhere but I feel he should have at least discussed it with me first. AIBU?

So not only has he resigned but he applied for another job first without saying anything to you either? I'm by that and I would be too tbh so imo yanbu!

well if it doesnt make much difference to your lives together ie you dont have to move house then i think it is ok if rather anti social in the sense that he didnt want to talk about it

but maybe he thought you would be made up

but i am if as i interpret it you read his post or did he leave the letter for you to read?

letter left on the side, but I do open his post as he does with mine, but in this instance letter just left lying around.

i think i would be inclined to say oh wow congratulations you have got a new job...are we going to celebrate and you can tell me all about it over a nice meal and a big bottle of wine

zippi you are very kind

I TBH would be wondering about the state of my relationship and why a supposed partner had not bothered to tell me about a major change (even if relocation is not an issue its still a bloody big deal and should at the very least demand a conversation)

I would be furious personally

but surely it is good news and that iosn't really enough of that is there

there isn't

good or bad news - it was a big decision that I would expect my husband to share with me

Blimey, I would be too. DH has handed in his notice/applied for new jobs I am not happy about, regardless of my opinion, but he has at least discussed it first.

Mind you, he did once by a bloody awful car without my agreement and that was bad enough.

I'm glad it is not just me I thought I was overreacting. He doesn't talk much and that has been an issue recently but I didn't realise things had got this bad that he makes these sort of decisions without consulting me at all.Not sure I even want to be adult about it and try and talk about it, I want to sulk shout and throw my toys out of the pram but can't as dd has friend round. Luckily I am out at dancing tonight and so will be able to vent my spleen once dcs in bed

He should have discussed it with you. Thats bloody men for you.

Whats to be furious about ?