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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that attending a counselling session is not an overtly luxurious way to spend my time

8 replies

exasperatedmummy · 04/11/2008 15:00

Its not like i had a fucking hair dressers appointment

My DP usually has DD for me for ONE hour a week while i have counselling session for a severe anxiety disorder. Yes, i am actually getting better that is BECAUSE OF THE COUNSELLING!!!

I had to miss it last week as i had a tummy bug. This week we don't have the car so i was going to have to go over on the bus or him take me in the van, but we can't put DD in the van, its not nice. So, i ring and ask my mum would she mind watching DD so i can go "to see someone" for an hour, DP was going to take me and we were going to have a coffee afterwards.

SOOOOOOOOOOO on the way home from preschool, my mum rings me, she can't have DD she isn't feeling well, bugger, can't be helped. If its the bug i had last week its a nasty one. So, i get home, to find the dog has broken a window . Phone DP and do the whole "how much do you love me" routine to put him in a good mood before i break the news about the window (he is a carpenter, not the end of the world!). So, he's a bit miffed. Then i tell him that my mum can't have DD because she is ill. So, would he mind coming home half an hour earlier so i can go on the bus, thinking that shouldnt be a problem - he works for himself - but he gets all grumpy, i say whats the matter "i'm not pissed off, i just want to get some work done - for once", so i say ok don't worry about DD i'll sort something else, "no no - i don't mind (passive aggression alert), its just that im running behind " Ok, i say - so then i think well DD (18y) can look after DD2 for me while i go and DP can come home about four - hes not happy with that, "nah, id rather just come home" So then i say well what if she comes with me i leave them in a coffee shop and bring DD2 back with me - DD1 had a hair dressers appointment that couldnt be altered (long story). He agrees, i ring DD2, do you ming? No mum thats OK.

But then my mother says she wants DD1 to help her with shopping, not get her shopping for her, no no, but to go with her to get her money out of the bank (my mum can't do the cash card ) My mum is blatantly too ill to be out, but insists on this, it makes my time very tight, so i say i'll come with you to the town and we can go straight from town - you would think this would be OK wouldnt you , but my mother says, "but i want to go NOW" Ok, i have to get DD2 ready, who then proceeds to play me up and not want to get dressed (she is 3). DD1 arrives and starts stressing at me to hurry up, my mum wont come in (cos she feels sick!) and just keeps knocking on the door telling me to hurry up - FFS, why do we have to go NOW!!!!! I say, why don't you go home, me and DD1 will do your shopping and bring it home for you after my "appointment". No, no this isn't good enough - so DD1 throws a strop, shouts at DD2, so i shout at DD1 and tell her that if she is going to shout at DD2 then im not leaving her with her . My mother then announces "i don't happen to feel well (well fucking go home then)" and strops off. Im left with a screaming DD2 and have to ring my counsellor for the second week running to cancel.

I honestly don't know who i have go the fucking hump with the most. DP for not having a couple of hours off work to look after DD so i can have my session, which he agrees have really helped me or DD2 for being a stroppy teenage arse [nothing new there] or my mother for wanting everything done NOW which put a spanner in the works for DD1 to be able to babysit.

Maybe im being a bit of a spoilt brat, but it would be nice to think that i could have ONE HOUR, one poxy fucking hour, to myself in a week to sort out my addled and over anxious brain, consequently i am quite stressed now and i'm having palpitations . As i said, its not like its a hair dressers appointment, which to be quite frank i would have been equally pissed off to miss, but not so stressed as my counsellor says that if i miss one more session i will have to give up the slot for someone else.

Thanks for reading so far - rant over.

OP posts:
nymphadora · 04/11/2008 15:18

Do you feel better now though?

Egg · 04/11/2008 15:25

Did your mum know where you were supposed to be going? If you just told her you wanted to "see someone" for an hour she might not have realised how important it was.

Am not justifying any of the behaviour btw .

exasperatedmummy · 04/11/2008 15:40

Egg, she doesn't know exactly what it is about but she has a bloody good idea. I am feeling really pissed off now as it is perfectly clear to me that DP puts me about at position, oooh, 100 on his list of priorities. A couple of hours would not have made one iota of difference to this job. The shopping could have waited, in fact it would have been easier for my mum if she let me and DD1, as for DD1 - well, she is 18 and as self centred as they come. So, i am feeling a little bit insignificant now - yes, i know i am the SAHM so the childcare is down to me, but i thought i had it sorted. I even phoned a friend so as not to put my family to any trouble but she was at work.

OP posts:
Margehasbluehair · 04/11/2008 15:41

Is it possible to change the appt slot if fitting it in is problematic?

Sorry you had to miss your session.

QueenofAllWildThings · 04/11/2008 15:44

No, YANBU. Life is shit sometimes, and it seems that mothers bear the brunt of it and are lowest on everyone's priorities. Just make sure that you go to next week's appointment, come hell or high water!

nymphadora · 04/11/2008 16:27

counseelors appts seem to be thin on the ground so I understand why its a problem changing /possibly losing it.

Uriel · 04/11/2008 16:32

How miserable for you.

Don't know how old dd2 is, but would a regular nursery slot for that morning be a possibility?

exasperatedmummy · 04/11/2008 17:38

When i told DP i didn't go he said, well you should have rung me, i said to him that he made it clear it was a big problem for him. He feels sufficiently bad that he is going to buy me a chinese tonight I have bought a bottle of wine and im going to have an early bath.

OP posts:
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