Its not like i had a fucking hair dressers appointment
My DP usually has DD for me for ONE hour a week while i have counselling session for a severe anxiety disorder. Yes, i am actually getting better that is BECAUSE OF THE COUNSELLING!!!
I had to miss it last week as i had a tummy bug. This week we don't have the car so i was going to have to go over on the bus or him take me in the van, but we can't put DD in the van, its not nice. So, i ring and ask my mum would she mind watching DD so i can go "to see someone" for an hour, DP was going to take me and we were going to have a coffee afterwards.
SOOOOOOOOOOO on the way home from preschool, my mum rings me, she can't have DD she isn't feeling well, bugger, can't be helped. If its the bug i had last week its a nasty one. So, i get home, to find the dog has broken a window . Phone DP and do the whole "how much do you love me" routine to put him in a good mood before i break the news about the window (he is a carpenter, not the end of the world!). So, he's a bit miffed. Then i tell him that my mum can't have DD because she is ill. So, would he mind coming home half an hour earlier so i can go on the bus, thinking that shouldnt be a problem - he works for himself - but he gets all grumpy, i say whats the matter "i'm not pissed off, i just want to get some work done - for once", so i say ok don't worry about DD i'll sort something else, "no no - i don't mind (passive aggression alert), its just that im running behind " Ok, i say - so then i think well DD (18y) can look after DD2 for me while i go and DP can come home about four - hes not happy with that, "nah, id rather just come home" So then i say well what if she comes with me i leave them in a coffee shop and bring DD2 back with me - DD1 had a hair dressers appointment that couldnt be altered (long story). He agrees, i ring DD2, do you ming? No mum thats OK.
But then my mother says she wants DD1 to help her with shopping, not get her shopping for her, no no, but to go with her to get her money out of the bank (my mum can't do the cash card ) My mum is blatantly too ill to be out, but insists on this, it makes my time very tight, so i say i'll come with you to the town and we can go straight from town - you would think this would be OK wouldnt you , but my mother says, "but i want to go NOW" Ok, i have to get DD2 ready, who then proceeds to play me up and not want to get dressed (she is 3). DD1 arrives and starts stressing at me to hurry up, my mum wont come in (cos she feels sick!) and just keeps knocking on the door telling me to hurry up - FFS, why do we have to go NOW!!!!! I say, why don't you go home, me and DD1 will do your shopping and bring it home for you after my "appointment". No, no this isn't good enough - so DD1 throws a strop, shouts at DD2, so i shout at DD1 and tell her that if she is going to shout at DD2 then im not leaving her with her . My mother then announces "i don't happen to feel well (well fucking go home then)" and strops off. Im left with a screaming DD2 and have to ring my counsellor for the second week running to cancel.
I honestly don't know who i have go the fucking hump with the most. DP for not having a couple of hours off work to look after DD so i can have my session, which he agrees have really helped me or DD2 for being a stroppy teenage arse [nothing new there] or my mother for wanting everything done NOW which put a spanner in the works for DD1 to be able to babysit.
Maybe im being a bit of a spoilt brat, but it would be nice to think that i could have ONE HOUR, one poxy fucking hour, to myself in a week to sort out my addled and over anxious brain, consequently i am quite stressed now and i'm having palpitations . As i said, its not like its a hair dressers appointment, which to be quite frank i would have been equally pissed off to miss, but not so stressed as my counsellor says that if i miss one more session i will have to give up the slot for someone else.
Thanks for reading so far - rant over.