to be utterly pissed off at the apathy of strangers?

[theressomethingaboutmarie]

Bear with me!

I was walking through Guildford on Friday with my DD (13 months in her pushchair). I'd just left a shop in a precinct and was walking along. I heard a woman screaming at her son to "get in the fcking pushchair now, you fcking b*stard". The boy in question was about three or four and quietly walking along. His "mother" (for I use that term lightly) was ramming the pushchair into the back of his legs. Her partner was walking along with a baby in a pram.

I was shocked to hear and see this and so turned around in horror. She clocked me instantly and started screaming at me "what the f&ck are you looking at. Mind your own your own f*cking business". Her little boy looked close to tears (and why wouldn't he). I said, "you are abusing that poor lad" (for, she was!). She then shouted that she would "f&cking well start on yours next". I had been walking off but turned around to say, "oh I don't think so". She started to race after me shouting and screaming at me as I walked off. Finally giving up when I dived into a shop.

Would you like to know what the good people of Guildford did whilst she was a) very loudly and evidently abusing that little boy and b) threatening to hit a 13 month old? They did NOTHING. Absolutely NOTHING.

I've contacted the shopping centre security team to get the footage over to the Social Services so feel that I am doing what I can. I'm still absolutely bloody livid that no one did a damn thing.

The problem with intervening in these situations as it often just makes it worse for the children

This is such a sad situation, I know myself that I got stared at on holiday a couple of months ago when i did shout at my ds1. He is 10 and had gone in an arcade with dp who had gone in to use cash machine, I stayed outside with ds2 then 11m and my friend. After 10 mins dp came out white as a sheet sweating and in a terrible panic as ds1 had gone missing. Dp had turned his back on him for the time it took to use the cash machine turned round and he was gone. Please bear in mind that ds1 is 10yrs old!!!

Anyways there we were all running round the arcade in diff directions..which for me with a buggy was not that easy, I found ds1 and asked if he was ok what had happened etc, when he told me he was walking around and had seen us looking for him and calling him.... i did really shout at him, i told him in no uncertain terms if he thought he was doing anything else that day he had another thing coming and yes I did tell him he was going to get a slapped hand if he even moved from my side again for the rest of his life lol ok a bit OTT i know but we were all so worried about him!!!

The worst bit is that we were asking people if they had seen him as we were calling him and nobody even attempted to help, even though it was apparent there was a child missing. Thankfully it was not anymore than him wandering off but what if????

People were more interested when I was shouting at him as they all had a look then!!!

I don't think i would have been able to help looking over at the woman in shock at the beginning, but I probably would have avoided confrontation, partly for all the reasons here, and partly because it is such a slippery slope - when are you being helpful and when are you being an interfering old biddy? Eg slapping the 10mo baby - totally agree with LouMacca, but would never even consider saying something as it's not my place.

Having said that, crush's DD, hurt at Mothercare is definitely at the top of the slippery slope, or even perhaps on the other side entirely, and seems like a no brainer... "child falls and is screaming. Mother is trying to help child. Offer help, or at least let mother back in queue when child is settled".

i was at asda last week when i saw a mum with 2 dc's 1 in trolley 1 walking.1 asked her a question and she screamed at him "will you fcking shut up".she then turned to another woman who turned out to be her mum and said "i can't go any fcking where without these 2 little c*ts going on".luckily my dd had gone off with dh so didn't have to hear it but a man and a lady both said something to her to which she replied "fck off you old bstard".i don't know what happened next but i did see a member of staff talking to her.i can't believe people talk to their kids like this it's disgraceful

theressomethingaboutmarie - I hope you get the CCTV footage to send to SS. Surely ramming a 3 year old in the back if the legs with a buggy is assult of some kind? And if she does something like ths in public what does she do behind closed doors?

All these things are awful. Unfortunately, I would be scared of something happening to me if I confronted someone like that, especially if I had dd with me. I don't feel good about that but I have read too many stories of people being stabbed

However, ignoring someone who's child has been hurt is awful. All it takes is a friendly 'are you ok?'. I have fallen over a couple of times when it has been icey and someone has always stopped to see if I am ok. It is just being a decent human being.

YANBU.Though I can understand why people are scared to get involved, if people acted together safety would be less of an issue but no one wants to be the first to make a move.

Thanks for all of the supportive comments, I truly appreciate it. As many of you have said, if we don't get involved and don't say IT'S NOT OKAY TO DO THAT TO YOUR CHILD, we are effectively enabling it to happen. We're also letting those poor children know that society doesn't give a crap.

Would I react in the same way if I saw the same thing happening again? Yes, I absolutely would. I would not be able to walk by and think that someone else will deal with it. It's wrong, we have to say it's wrong, we have to show children that it is wrong.

Would I call security right away or get members of the public involved? Damn right!!!

well done for confronting but in fairness, if anyone saw the response you got from the mother can you blame them for not stepping in,especially when there is a potentially equally violent male? much safer to ring the police/shopping centre discretely ona phone