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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think about reporting my employee who leaves her 6 year old daughter on her own whilst she comes to work?

43 replies

fifi20 · 03/11/2008 22:58

I dont really know what to do. She talks about it quite openly to me that at half term (last week), she was at work, as was her husband, and her daughter was at home on her own. She had people going to check up on her, but she was still left alone I believe. Of course I have no proof, but it just worries me. Is it against the law? And as an employer as she is coming to work for me and leaving her daughter at home, is it my responsibility to tell her to take time off? She hasnt asked me for flexible working arrangements, or for any holiday, but she is from a different culture (India), only been in the UK for 4 months, and I am worried that she doesnt 1) understand UK law 2) that I should be helping her in a different way??

OP posts:
SlartyBartFast · 03/11/2008 22:59

i dont think it is against the law.

can she bring her daughter to work?
can she have school holidays off,

she says people check up on daughter.

cupsoftea · 03/11/2008 23:00

Could you talk to her dd school - if you know which one she goes to? Perhaps they would know who best to contact about this.

alleve · 03/11/2008 23:02

Try to sort out some flexible working time for your employee!

littleforest · 03/11/2008 23:08

Hi on reading your comment i was always lead to believe that children should not be left at home under the age of 14 i certainly would not leave mine.
Maybe you could print off some uk laws about child care if that possible.

edam · 03/11/2008 23:12

There is no law that sets a magic age at which you can leave children on their own. You have to use your judgement about your child.

The NSPCC suggests eight, I think, as the youngest age at which most children can be left on their own for short periods - but that's just their opinion, not the law.

I imagine most people and most professionals would say six is too little to be alone all day but you say your employee had people 'going to check up on her' so I'm not sure it's that straightforward.

Sillyworry · 03/11/2008 23:13

This a strange one in law. If the child is thought to be responsible they can be left for a few hours. BUT if something happens to her while she is alone and emergency services are called she will be reported to Social services and local Police Child Protect officers. I don't think she would be able to prove that a 6 year old could deal with an emergency and be safe. How is she getting her meals, how does she know what she is doing while she is in work. How does she know how she would handle strangers at the door. She has to re think her child care and you should recommend it. I wouldn't want it on my conscience

alleve · 03/11/2008 23:13

littleforest, there is no laws or set guidelines on this in the UK. It is basically up to parents to decide. If anything happens to a child under 16 whilst left alone then the parents are held responsible.

I don't agree with this grey area but I guess the politics of it are too great to put actual guidelines in law. Obviously 6 is far too young and I wouldn't employ someone who was compelled to leave a child this young home alone.

alleve · 03/11/2008 23:17

Just realise what a crass statement I made on the end of my post. Apologies to the OP, but nowadays employers are not allowed to ask prospective employees about childcare arrangements.

Sillyworry · 03/11/2008 23:18

P.S I have taken children into Police Protect for less. It would be considered negligent of duty on my part. After Victoria Clumbie (sorry can't spell her name) we have a policy called 'Every Child Matters' and we have to report and deal with children in a very serious way.

littleforest · 03/11/2008 23:18

I very much agree with you all i found it difficult to leave my 14 yr old in the school holiday's but she was too old for childminder, it's difficult but would never leave my children in a situation that could be bad especially at such a young age.

Agree that she should be made aware of trying to get proper child care arrangements there are so many out there it wouldn't take long.

onager · 03/11/2008 23:19

I'm sure you don't have any legal responsibility. It's not as though she has filled in a form saying that if she works those hours she will be forced to leave her alone - you only know from chatting.

The other thing is you don't really know all the circumstances. For example perhaps she has rooms in a house full of other family and they are in and out all day checking on her. Then it would be just like the child playing in her bedroom which wouldn't be especially wrong.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 03/11/2008 23:20

what kind of opportunities have you discussed with her? Are there opportunities for her not to work during the school holidays? do you offer flexible working? can she take holidays during this time? can she work from home? She may not have approached you, but as her employer, you cant ask / suggest so she knows that it isn't going to look terrible if she asks herself iyswim

Yes, I feel 6 is too young, but at the end of the day, you dont know their financial situation - it may be imperative for her to bring home a wage (i.e. cannot take parental leave) or may have felt not possible to ask you for help - talk to her about her options.

I wouldn't report her though, not without finding out more details. Having somebody check up on her can mean varying amounts of time / things.

ElfOnTheTopShelf · 03/11/2008 23:21

d'oh, I mean you can ask!!

robinpud · 03/11/2008 23:21

If she really is your employee, then you have some sort of responsibility to explain things to her. She is quite likely unaware of our practices, and just trying to make a living and a better life for her family.
Can you help her find a practical solution; reporting her is not going to do anything positive. Put her in touch with the right people to talk to about out of school care; explain what is the norm here and why and ensure she has then english to understand and make appropriate arrangements.

alleve · 03/11/2008 23:27

You sound like a caring employer btw. So many companies nowadays don't give to hoots for their employees family life. It's not PC to do this.

The worry of staff is if you tell them they can stay home and be with their children then the parent has the worry of will I get paid or have no money to buy food this week. Sorry but it still happens.

cupsoftea · 03/11/2008 23:30

could you ask any one you know better and trust that are the same job level as her to have a word & find out what's happening with her childcare.

littleforest · 03/11/2008 23:44

May be you should find out as an employer where you stand with this situation, you don't want to make things worse for yourself although your being a very nice boss and caring so much, it can sometimes back fire.
It would be nice if all boss's were that caring ha ha

halfaquark · 03/11/2008 23:56

I think the most helpful way forward would be to be as open with her like you've been with us on here. Tell her you've been worrying and ask if you understood right and, if indeed you did, explain that you think it is very likely to be against the law. if there is anything you can then do to help re flexible working/holiday entitlement then that's great but i think the first step is making sure she understands the position. As others have said, it's my understanding that the law is not set on what age it is acceptable to be home alone. However, I would guess that many social services departments would take reports of a 6 y.o. left for longer than a few minutes quite seriously.

Lotster · 04/11/2008 00:19

Poor litle girl

What if she tried to cook something and seriously hurt herself? Or fell downstairs or something and no-one checked on her for ages? Or answered the door to a weirdo?

I really think you have a responsibilty to do something now that you know. Law or not, it's just not safe or sensible to leave such a little one alone. Especially because if something DID happen, you could be cast (very unfairly obviously, but the press go mad on "home alone" stories) as the "slavedriving" employer she was working for instead of caring for her child. Bit dramatic I know, but it's good to cover yourself...

There's an NSPCC guidance leaflet you could sit down and go through with her:

www.nspcc.org.uk/HelpAndAdvice/Parentsandcarers/HomeAlone/homealone_wda35965.html

Part of which states:

"Most children under about
13 are not mature enough
to cope with an emergency
and should not be left alone
for more than a very short time."

Good luck with handling this.

pingping · 04/11/2008 09:44

Its against the law to leave a child under the age of 12 without someone over the age 16 looking after them.

I would inform her of this.

pingping · 04/11/2008 09:48

I only know this because an Ex Friend of mine was leaving her DC's 4 and 8 alone all day whilst she worked and someone reported her and SS took them off her.

I think she has got her children back now

stitch · 04/11/2008 09:51

i think you need to tell her that it is not ok to do this in this country. someone needs to be witht he six year old at all times. state it explicitly.
i dont kow about india, but in pakistan, it is not considered ok to leave a six year old on their own. if neessary, they will beleft with a neighbour, or an odler siblings, 10 or 11. but never on ehteir own.

DaisyMooSteiner · 04/11/2008 09:52

See this story from just last week!

onager · 04/11/2008 09:57

Pingping, that would mean that an 11 year old couldn't go to school on their own so I doubt there is any such law. If you read the other posts apparently there is only advice on best ages.

cantpickyourfamily · 04/11/2008 09:59

that is terrible to leave a 6year old child alone. maybe in india she did it and it was fine, but I agree with other posters maybe you should tell her it is not normal to do that in this country.

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