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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want my DD to miss her first 2 weeks of "proper school" next September

28 replies

dilemma456 · 03/11/2008 20:04

Message withdrawn

OP posts:

nolongeraworriedmummyfied · 03/11/2008 20:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

misdee · 03/11/2008 20:06

cant they go the two weeks before the school holidays? hence your dd wont mis school as she wont have started then?

harpomarx · 03/11/2008 20:07

of course you don't want to her to miss her first two weeks of school!

unless it was an amazing, out of this world, never to be repeated opportunity there is no way I would consider this.

is it an amazing, out of this world, never to be repeated opportunity or just a bit of a cheaper holiday? if so, I can't see what they are so het up about.

harpomarx · 03/11/2008 20:07

of course you don't want to her to miss her first two weeks of school!

unless it was an amazing, out of this world, never to be repeated opportunity there is no way I would consider this.

is it an amazing, out of this world, never to be repeated opportunity or just a bit of a cheaper holiday? if so, I can't see what they are so het up about.

brimfull · 03/11/2008 20:07

yanbu

Hulababy · 03/11/2008 20:08

YANBU

The first weeks of reception is when friendship are being made, and when teacher-pupil relationships are forming. It is a really important settling down period IMO. i wouldn't do it.

Littlefish · 03/11/2008 20:08

I think you're right to keep refusing.

I'm a former Reception teacher and would never, ever suggest a child missing those first couple of weeks.

As Misdee says, suggest that you all go at the beginning of July.

Has your dad spoken to the school about taking his children out of school? The last school where I worked was very supportive of parents taking children out of school for family holidays, but would never give authorisation in September or May (SATS)

EachPeachPearMum · 03/11/2008 20:16

She will miss out on them all making their friendship groups! How sad that he can't see how important the first few weeks of school are, especially at that age.
Please insist you're not going.... I'm sure you still remember your first day... now imagine if everyone there had already known each other and settled into class etc.

Can't believe he's actually thought about this- and thinks it is okay for your dd

EachPeachPearMum · 03/11/2008 20:17

But am loving the term 'girlfiend'

Original poster

dilemma456 · 03/11/2008 20:19

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OP posts:

Blu · 03/11/2008 20:19

YANBU.

Just say no.

Apart from anything else, if it' an over-subscribed school and you are one day over two weeks they may well give your place to someone else.

scampadoodle · 03/11/2008 20:20

YANBU. Those 2 weeks will be so important for making friends & settling in. Tell your dad that the school won't give you permission & you'll be prosecuted & fined (you actually would be if you lived in my borough!) and suggest July. Your siblings will miss bugger all in those last 2 weeks of the summer term.

Weegle · 03/11/2008 20:25

YANBU

why would you want to go on holiday with someone who is emotionally blackmailing you anyway, that would be my answer. It doesn't matter if it's not important to them, the fact that it is important to you should be all that matters. If they desperately want you to go on holiday with them then it needs to be at a mutually agreed time, to a mutually agreed location etc etc

bumpybecky · 03/11/2008 20:27

YANBU but... check with the school that your dd would actually be in school then. At our school reception starts later than the other years as they spend the first two weeks doing home visits, then stagger the start anyway. I don't think my dd3 will be in school until the third week of term when she starts reception next year

ShePeeTeePee · 03/11/2008 20:40

Staggered starts here too. Youngest children first in our case, and had I known in advance it would have been possible for us to take a holiday at the beginning of September. But, to answer your question, no, of course YANBU. It would be totally unfair on your DD.

EachPeachPearMum · 03/11/2008 20:41

dilemma a VERY freudian slip!

coppertop · 03/11/2008 20:42

If the girlfriend is the kind of person who would refuse to talk to you over something like this then you can almost guarantee that a holiday with her would be horrible anyway. Say no.

ImaburningHEIFERgy · 03/11/2008 21:03

A definate no from me. My DD started reception this Sept, and we have just had a 2 week half term and that was bad enough, even when every child was off, it was still hard for her to get back into the run of things today. The children were quite shy with eachother in the playground at first. Would hate to think how DD would have been if she was the only one off...

Stick to your guns.... holiday another time (on your own ideally)

StewieGriffinsMom · 03/11/2008 21:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

stitch · 03/11/2008 21:13

i think you are being unreasonable about putting so much importance on something i think isnt too important. life experiences are far far moreimptortant
but
i dont htink this is about the holiday as such. it is about yoru relationship with your dad, andhis girlfriend. is she themother of the siblings you mention? i think they are piling the pressure on you excessively, and are being unreasonable about not allowing you to do things that are obviously important to you.

hifi · 03/11/2008 21:33

agree with finding out the staggered start, some children in dds class didnt start till the last week in sept. dd started 10th of sept,i was gutted as could have stayed on holiday longer.
dd school had the children who had been to the schools nursery start first then the youngest after that.

ThingOne · 03/11/2008 21:47

I think starting reception is a key life experience. Missing out on that gradual start and introduction to school and rules is not a good plan.

My DS1's school didn't start until the 8th Sept this year, as they had inset days the week before, and his class was split into groups so he didn't start until the 10th. A friend at another school didn't start until the 15th. I would ring and ask how/when they manage the start to school and see if you can compromise.

If your child starts in the second week maybe you could go on holiday for the first week and then come back for the start of term? Or maybe you could go one week that's expensive and one week that's cheap!

yomellamoHelly · 03/11/2008 22:07

My ds actually started 2 weeks late because they spend the first couple of weeks doing home visits and getting to know the children on their home territory. All the schools in this area do something slightly different though. The first week was then part-time. That said ds found it all quite stressful (despite one of his best friends being in his class and being really excited about going to big school) and I would not have wanted him to miss either the home visit or the gradual easing in. I do think you should find out what happens at your chosen school. Personally I also wouldn't want to make ds stand out in any way either.

2shoeshissbangwhoosh · 03/11/2008 22:08

yanbu

MmeLindt · 03/11/2008 22:10

YANBU and your Dad and his girlfiend sound very selfish. Stick to your guns

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