to never ever do maths homework with dd ever again?

[DisasterArea]

every single bloody time i attempt tohelp her we end up shouting at each other. she whines, moans, pretends she doesn't know what to do. i try and show her how to work stuff out. she shouts that it is the wrong way. show her a different way. it still isn't good enough.she moans and whinges some more. i get cross and tell her to bloody get on with it. she cries because i've got cross.i stomp out.
EVERY BLOODY TIME.
am not doing it any more.

YABU
no wonder she cries if you're shouting at her because she isn't doing it right and telling her to 'bloody get on with it' . Why don't you be more patient with her. Why not play along with her 'pretending not to know what to do'. Why not praise her if she does get it right. I'm sure you're not helping her whatsoever.

soudsn like me and dd . If I suggest she might like to check it (ie it's wrong) she'll get stropp[y !

Jesus, who is the adult! YABU Grow up!

Not yet. Tackling homework with a tired stroppy child isn't probably the best idea though. DD does her homework in the morning when she's most alert. Not for everyone though I suppose.

I know this one. You need the patience of a bloody saint to tackle maths homework. DS can fly off the handle with me over the slightest thing, and yes, I praise, and avoid tiredness, and don't push and play games and change the subject and all those other, frankly obvious, things. He can still refuse to answer "what's 2 plus 2" correctly if he so chooses. I'm sure he's all sweetness and light for his teacher.

How old is she? You need to change tactics (but you know that!!) and make it easier on everyone.

Have you considered one of those courses where they teach parents how to help their kids with subjects they way they are taught today (ie not the way we were taught)? I did a four week course (one hour a week) at the library, run by the Council, before my DD started school and it helped me see things differently. Maths is taught completely differently now, for instance. Ask at the library or local sure start place.

Sadly haven't got time for a library course but there's a lot about maths I don't get. DS seems to be doing long addition and subtraction but using a number grid, instead of doing it like we would have done. So I assume he's putting, say, 12 under 24 with a minus sign at the side, and he can't even tackle it unless I write 1 - 100 on a grid.

My dd1 is 15.I discovered a couple of years ago I am still a whizz at function graphs, and helped ds. Dd1 refuses to be helped (she wants me to pay for a tutor like her friend has) and this evening threw a book of exam papers at the dog! Then we gave up.

i have no time for courses. i have barely enough time to make the effort to help dd with the bloody homework but no longer.
am going to spend what precious time we have together doing useful and happy stuff.
life is too short to try and work out percentages of kilometers changed into fractions and pie charts.
sod it
will buy a calculator. nobody in real life ever needs to do more than basic adding and subtracting anyway.
also what is the point of bloody homework a child doesn't understand. surely the point of bloody tedious homework is to reinforce what is already known. if she doesn't get it there is no point in me trying to teach her from the beginning. that is what i send her to school for.

DA - we've struggled with this - not just maths, other homework as well. One of my best friends is a primary school teacher. Her DD is the same age as mine. She gets wound up doing homework with her DD but give her a class full of 30 kids of the same age, no problems!

I think primary homework is a massive pressure on kids and parents. I'm leaning more towards the idea of no homework for primary kids. Secondary is soon enough.

Funnily enough though, both my kids are beautifully responsive when we/they are NOT doing homework but just asking questions and listening to us explain stuff!

It looks like i'm in for some fun when DDs get to that age then. Its funny, I don't actually recall my parents helping me with homework whatsoever.

It desn't help that they've completely changed everything since I was at school - any time I tried to show DS how to do something he'd look completely blank at me, because he hadn't done it like that. After a while I started getting him to explain it to me when he couldn't do it, rather than me trying to explain it to him. Usually by the time he had told me how they were meant to do it, he'd worked out where he was going wrong. If he just couldn't explain the method to me at all, I'd just put that he didn't get it in his homework diary so the teacher could have another go. It's not meant to be punishment, after all!

a load has been lifted. i am no longer doing it with her. either she gets on with it herself or not. school can then deal with her if she doesn't do it. not. my. problem.
her project on mountain gorillas is coming along nicely though, is just the mind numbingly tedious maths sheets we can't do.

Ah its so hard at times isn't it?

I couldn't agree more with you when you say

"also what is the point of bloody homework a child doesn't understand. surely the point of bloody tedious homework is to reinforce what is already known".

The amount of homework that my dd (8) has that she has no clue about is just unbelievable!

I am all for re-inforcing learning, but I find it really tough teaching her new concepts, plus i'm never sure that i'm doing the 'right' way as things have changed so much!!

My dd isn't a natural mathematician and struggles so much with her numeracy. It doesn't help that my 5 yr old keeps popping up with the answers that my 8 yr old is struggling with

Take deep breaths and start again. Its hard, but hey, you know we've got to do it

We ignore those stupid number lines/squares, and taught ds and dd to do addition and subtraction with carrying over. So much easier and sensible.
Good idea to leave her to it if its causing so much stress. Totally agree re school outsourcing teaching to parents, also re primary homework being wrong.

I don't care about fads and fashions though.

Ruby - we went to workshops in school to teach us how the children are being taught. It was fantastically useful!!

...well at least i thought it was until i got home and dd told me that she hasn't been using any of the methods at all

have you spoken to teacher-saying that she having problems with it.and to get advice on how to help her help herself?

i use to find reading/writting homework with ds1 turned into us both getting stroppy and sulky till we found out he was dyslexic.he wasnt being 'difficult' he just honestly couldnt do it.

im not saying your dd has learning difficulties but if shes not understanding then the teacher should know so they can help her.

Sorry I didn't catch how old she was. I was not good at maths at school, didn't listen, but have bought the books and help with revision etc. Amazing how much I can pick up and help with nowadays. DD better drop it for A level though.

Its fraught and if you don't enjoy helping then you are right to channel your energies into more creative stuff. Also at primary level the methods were alien to me.

Has anyone here ever seen a "how it's taught now" guide on the internet?

would be much appreciated

dd is 10 and difficult at the best of times. teacher very aware of homework/school traumas. and v sensible and has said to just leave it if it is causing problems.

They will also need to show some workings of whatever method is in vogue when they sit exams later on. My downfall with maths at school was I 'knew' the answers but writing down the workings was fiddly and boring to me (Plus I thought it made the paper look untidy). My logic was that you wouldn't hand in an essay with crossings out and notes in the margins, so why in maths? I still prefer to tot things up in my head rather than use the new methods, but I have to help my dd.