To be very upset with my dentist.

[RagingHormone]

I had my baby nearly 6 months ago and I put on a lot of weight whilst I was preg. I've been dieting since he was 2 days old as soon I'm getting married and I want to look good.

I'm atill a size 14 at the moment.

I went to my dentist today and he read my notes and then said 'So you're pregnant, how far gone are you?'

I said 'Oh no no, I wrote that out back when I was 5 months pregnant'

And he said 'Yes, yes, have you thought of any names yet?'

I used all my self control up on not punching him and snapped 'He's called [name]' and he said 'Oh. I see.' In this totally shocked tone.

Then 'Lots of sleepless nights then.'

I looked at my shadow all the way home and I'm sure I don't still look pregnant. Although under my clothes my tummy has never sprung back and is all wrinkled up.

But you wouldn't even RISK saying it, even as small talk would you? I only went for a check up FGS.

I am very self conscious about my weight so probably loads of people will be like 'Oh don't be silly'. But I feel like such a fat cow today. I think I should start making up a date so that when people ask when I'm due I won't embarress myself by saying 'Oh I'm not pregnant'.

He's a man - need you say any more!!!

he was probably looking down your throat, not at your stomach !

I don't think it means you look pregnant. If he read it on your notes he probably thought you were maybe only a few months and not showing yet, don't worry!! Dentists have a very high turnover of patients and are generally in a massive hurry to make sure they are not running late IME

yabu and yanbu

he has quckly scanned the notes and then asked you about your pregnancy in terms of dental treatment and small talk

he didn't listen to your answer and carried on...he is probably mortified or bumbles through lots of mistakes of this ilk and couldn't care less

this has more to do with how you feel about yourself and your weight today
you've just had a baby, cut yourself some slack!!

you should not feel that you are embarrassing yourself, you are not. one of my pet hates is people not reading notes or messages properly and just blurting out what comes into their head or what they think they have read. its wrapped up partly in trying to be social/civil etc. years ago, people knew how to communicate and be socialable and civil/polite etc but in the modern world, people have forgotten this and have to force this politieness etc and as they do not know how to be, they often get it wrong and end up sounding crass or insultive!!

losing weight after pregnancy is very easy for the odd FEW women but in todays world, it is difficult for the majority.

you've had a baby, bought a new life into this world, so what if you are not back to how you were before pregnancy? you should feel proud and good at what you have done, its the others that have the problem, not you. you will get there if thats what you want.

agree with ronaldinhio. prob just wanted to make small talk. he's probably forgetten all about it by now.

YANBU - he shld have checked his notes and his facts properly. Bet he didn't even think of the consequences of what he said either.

This happenned to me and my DS was 6 at the time. I am a size 10/12 but suffer from IBS which makes me really bloated. I took DS and the dentist asked if I wanted to be seen too. I told him I couldn't really afford it but would make an appointment next month. He then pointedly looks at my belly and says "Well I see you are probably expecting so it would be free" . I gave him a steely glance and asked him what makde him think that. He didn't even say sorry the bastard.

Awww - I had this when I went to the GP and saw the nurse for DD2 (she was 4 at the time). She patted my admitted lumpy overweight tum and said "and how long to go now?" I was so stunned and shocked I just mumbled at her something like "a while" and changed the topic. I cried all the way home and threw my (then favourite and expensive) top in the bin - thanks to Dh who rather bluntly and unsympathetically said "it kind of balloons out like a maternity top though.."
I would love to add that it was enough to motivate me into losing a stone blah blah but it was enough to wreck my confidence and ditch the diet efforts altogether (gonna make a new effort after Christmas). I am not huge really - about a size 16 on the top and 14 on the bottom. I was also irritated that I had not come out with a really witty remark or that I had not been honest and said "nah, I am just really fat" but Hey Ho Life happens and all that.

Oh dear, for all the ladies this has happened to. Nothing like a bit of tact is there .

To top it all off I asked for an appointment for my DP and they booked him in with a lady who looks like she's about to whip her hair out of her bun and shake it from side to side in slow motion. She's gorgeous and she certainly hasn't got a pregnant tum .

yes but think or where she has her hands all day, in other peoples gungy mouths and having to smell thier breaths and as soon as she starts a drilling, that gorgeousness soon goes and is replaced by either fear of dislike!!

I used to have an older Irish guy as my dentist, he had the most smelliest breath I have come across, when I changed dentists some years ago, I got a gorgeous young asian woman, oo, hmm, yes, well, as soon as she started poking at my teeth and then did a clean on them, that wow factor soon went!!

I think her was going by what was written in the notes, not how you look.
From what you have written it looks like he read you were pregnant, asked how far on you were. In your reply to him you had said that you had been 5 months, so he probably just thought you were now still pregnant but more than 5 months IYSWIM.

You say that you snapped, maybe that was why he sounding shocked was, rather than him being shocked that you werent pregnant?

(I dont say that to try and make you feel bad, just that is how it reads to me, like you are maybe a bit self conscious about weight, and so assume that people think you are fat, rather than him thinking that you were)

Some people just dont think. I shouldnt think he was even paying attention, just being daft.

I went to the Drs when DS1 was 3 DAYS old (to get painkillers for after birth pains) and the stupid stupid nurse took one look at my not gone down yet tummy and the note on her screen saying saying pregnant and said to me 'ooh you are pregnant again, you didnt waste much time did you?'
I just looked at her with one of my looks I think, until she clicked that DS1 was NEWBORN