to not want to sign a piece of paper that enables my exh to gain some money...

[whitebeachesandcoconutoil]

to cut a long story short we split up nearly 10 years ago. i was very young and naive and left with nothing and i mean nothing.
at the time my solicitor kept telling me to go to court to claim half as we had a fair amount of assets etc etc, but i just did.nt feel 'brave' enough to do it and so said no. i signed house etc over blah blah.
exh said afterwards that he had done wrong by me and he realised he had but still it did not make him give anything to me.
now i left this weasel because he told me [when drunk] that he had had a bj off my sister and so you can imagine what my feelings are to the pair of them.
anyway i am now very happily married with an adorable lo
however today my mom rings me and says i have had a letter from solicitors asking your where abouts and for you to provide proof of adress and who you are in relation you apolicy you took out jointly with exh.
so i rang exh mom[ i have a knack for remebering numbers] and asked her if she knew what it was about and she said he is here speak to him.
anyway the upshot of it is in his words that i have to sign this paper to give permission for him to have this money cos apparently it was never settled at the time. i said what happens if i don't and he says he won't get the money.
i feel really really p**d off that yet agin i am gonna give i cos it's the right thing to do but it narks me that when i said to him gosh you really did well out of our marriage did'nt yuo he said well it's not my fault and is trying to fool me into thinking no claim.[probably i don't]
sorry i just really having a bad day because i ahve really struggled over the years sometimes not eating when he has gone on fabulously with what was our money.

Ah, X posted. But it is an insurance policy?

now looking at bonds and stuff

I'd add at least two more zeros at the end, to be honest. The climate's bad but not that bad. Tell them he has all your papers and won't give them to you, and give them your details, they should give you details even if you don't have the policy number.
How did you pay into the policy, if by direct debit the reference number on your old bank statements could be the policy number it's how my d/d's work.

ok so will i be able to speak to the cis without a policy number

Op- I did the same thing when I left the house I owned with my horrid ex (because he was a vicious bully). I walked away from that house with nothing. He sold last summer and I had to sign the paperwork to sign it all over to him- he made a nice tidy profit on our home with a joint mortgage in my name. People advised me to fight him for half, but as I hadn't paid into the mortgage after he made leave I left, I didn't feel morally entitled to take anything.

but thats what i mean fuzzywuzzy i only paid into it for about six months before i left and that was out of our then joint bank account so thats why i did not think i am entitled to anything

8

he made me leave

Do you know what, being married to someone isnt all about the money you contribute, I had to cut back on the work when I had kids etc, but doesnt mean I contributed any less to the marriage, in fact it werent for me ex would not have been where he is now.

You let him take all your joint assets, stand up for this one, its yours.

You may choose not to take this money, or to donate to charity if you prefer, but you should know what (and how much) you're giving him/charity.

Actually, if you really don't want to take the money, there's nothing wrong with winding him up a little by letting him think you do want it. Then, you get the moral high ground when you agree to sign anyway, despite the fact that you could have skinned him.

But you need to know what you're doing, otherwise he's just ripping you off again, and sniggering about it, probably.

Me, I'd take the money.

All the best with this.

Similar thing happened to me - I was too timid to fight for my share of a jointly bought flat and signed everything over to him.

I believe he now owns 3 properties - all bought jointly with girlfriends.

I wish I had done things differently now.

sorry dunno what happened to my last post but as i was asking will i need the policy number to speak to the cis

The information you need should be on the bit of paper he wants you to sign.

When you divorced did you have a binding court consent order? If you did then it will probably say who is entitled to this policy and anything else. Then even if you refuse to sign he can take you to court and make you sign. If you did not and you just informally did things like transfer the house to him then the divorce is not properly finalised and even after 10 years you can go back and claim more so it's vital to remember how it was finalised at the time.

you are entitled to this money and even if it is only 3 grand it's better than a poke in the eye

and I would be doing what Xenia suggested too - get a free half hour with a solicitor to go over your paperwork and see if you're entitled to more

xenia i cannot remember there being a court order i remember signing paperwork for the mortgage but not a court agreement. what he said earlier was that this policy had gotten missed off?
if i ring my old solicitors will they have the paperwork cos i just don't have it it's been nearly 10 years iv'e moved house ,got married and had a child etc.

Are you actually divorced?

yep most definately divorced!!!!

tbh I think you are morally entitled to 50% of the policy because you are entitled to 50% of the equity of that home at what equity there was in it at that time.

Def worth a tip/email to your solicitor at that time.

what company is it with? if you can give me names/address i may be able to find policy no. for you.

also if it is a joint policy, no matter who paid for it, you are entitled jointly and severally (which means equally and together) to claim the money.

lol, you were young and naive at the time...so what is your excuse now??? It's been ten years. Let him and his troubles go. I wouldn't (WOULD NOT) sign anything. If he wants to make a stink of it then let him. You've been free and clear for a good ten years.
Also, if you do this and then don't hear from him I would be assuming he forged your name.
If that is the case he can do it for other things too. Contact these people and ask them (NOT HIM) if you are entitled to any of this money.
Let them decide. If not then your signature isn't required either. Besides, are there any costs or taxes involved? You will be just as needed for that too.

mankymummy how can you do that?

i have friends who work in several insurance companies. i used to work for one myself.

TBH... I think if you ring up whichever insurance co. it is, and as long as you can say, policyholder name, address, date of commencement and method of payment they will probably tell you over the phone anyway...

Haven't read all the thread, but I have one of these policies - I get the cash at the end of the 10 years and start another one.

IMO It should be a lot more than £3K. He will know, because he will have received notification of maturation, and the amount will be on the document.

When he wants to claim the money he will have to sign a form confirming where he wants the money paid into - either cheque or into an account. If a joint policy, I assume you will both sign the form. Make sure he cannot add anything to the form once he has your signature.

Definitely get advice either from solicitor or CAB.

HTH

it is cis i can't remember the exact commencement date but cuold guess roughly when-do you think they will still give me the info.
tbh as i have said we divorced 9 years ago nearly 10 and you know i just did not realise that this still had my name on it