Not sure where to put this. DPs family.

8 replies

RagingHormone · 31/10/2008 19:39

A young member of DPs family died and they were very close. It's her anniversary in a couple of days. I love her family to bits but she died a few months before I met DP and it's quite a big deal in the town and I don't like to seem like I'm trying to get in on things.

Nothing's been mentioned to me about her anniversary but they've told DP that they're all meeting up to the cemetary and doing something special so obviously to go.

DP is working so he can't go but he wants me to go to represent him and he wants me to take our baby. It's really important to him. We have a very good relationship and I get on well with his family and see them a lot.

But I don't know if it's inappropriate for me to go, especially without him? How will I react when they cry? What do I say? Should I go?

OP posts:

Sparkletastic · 31/10/2008 19:41

Ask DP to let his family know that he'd like you and your LO to represent him. If they are fine with it then go ahead. It is a sign of respect and if they take it as such then you will be making a worthwhile gesture IMO.

lulumama · 31/10/2008 19:42

if you are close to his family and making a life with DP, you should go to represent him

don;t try to plan how you will react, go with the flow and say the right sympathetic things...

take some flowers to the grave perhaps?

cocoleBOO · 31/10/2008 19:43

If you're comfortable go, if you get along with his family you shouldn't feel akward (sp). You don't need to say or do anything when they cry. I'm sure they will appreciate you being there.

Original poster

RagingHormone · 31/10/2008 19:45

She also had a baby who is a little bit older than our son so I take our DS to the grave each week and we take some flowers as we go to the cem for a few other people anyway, so why miss her? And I'd like DS to know who she is. So it's not like we've never been.

I've never really been around anything like this before so I'm worried I'll get it all wrong. Lulumama- I will try to go with the flow.

OP posts:

2point4kids · 31/10/2008 19:45

You should go if your DP wants you to go. I expect he will tell his familythat you are going and that it is on his request.
You will also have your baby to look after, so wont be twidling your hands awkwardl when the others are upset iyswim.

Original poster

RagingHormone · 31/10/2008 19:47

2point- very good point, I won't be standing looking nervous and playing with my hair or nails if I have te baby to deal with.

OP posts:

Ronaldinhio · 31/10/2008 19:59

also i doubt that they will even consider your motives and rather be glad that you are there

yanbu just sensitive (rightly)

Original poster

RagingHormone · 31/10/2008 20:25

Her mum just rang and asked me to go which is nice, so I'm going to go for it. Wish me luck!!

OP posts:

Flip