to get annoyed at my mother's attitude that because dh earns a decent wage we shouldn'tever budget?

[wannaBe]

We are very fortunate in that dh earns a good salary. The price we pay for it is that he commutes 4 hours a day (two hours each way) to his job, but he loves his job and it pays well enough that i can afford to be a sahm. We are by no means loaded but yes we are comfortably off, but imo we are fortunate and I try to never take that for granted as anything can change.

My mother on the other hand is constantly throwing the fact that we "have money" (I'm not sure how much she thinks we have but suspect she thinks it's more than it actually is ) in my face. "if I had your money, I would have a cleaner/gardener" etc. And if ever I talk of having to buy something and it's something I can either not afford or justify paying for she will say "well it's not as if you haven't got the money is it?"

I am very careful with money. I'm not a scruge but I don't see the need too spend oney for the sake of spending it, iyswim? she on the other hand spends money left right and centre and then goes on about how she shouldn't be spending it.

This morning she has had yet another pop. I need a new mobile phone. But because of long complicated reasons the cheapest one I can buy will be around £400. I don't want to pay that much for a mobile phone. I begrudge the fact that because I need a specific phone (am VI so need a phone that works with software that can only be installed on the most expensive phones on the market) I have to pay such an extortionate amount for one. and her view? "well it's not as if you can't afford it is it?"

Ibu to be pissed off at this attitude of hers that I should just be pissing money up the wall just because it's there?

Not the same thing but we have a friend who, for some unknown reason, assumes we are loaded - we have average incomes, less now I am going part time. Then when I say something which implies we can't afford the same thing as them, usually instead of saying we don't want those things, he thinks we are virtually on the breadline.

He can never imagine a happy medium. What he is trying to do is work out how much our joint income is.

He is notoriously stingy though so obviously these things are a major concern for him.

Perhaps your Mum is the same but short of telling her your DH's salary and giving her a breakdown of your monthly outgoings she is never going to be happy. Maybe just ask her why she thinks you are so well off.

Tell her that its not a matter of what she thinks you can afford - but what YOUR priorities are for YOUR money.

I get fed up of MIL making comments about our money. She thinks that because we live in a 2 bed house and drive old cars therefore we must be skint. She has sulked for 2 years that I don't grovel for use of her holiday home but would rather rent a cottage somewhere that WE want to go.

She can't see that our priority has been to pay off our mortgage, not have a big house. We have savings but just don't want to spend them on new cars or moving to a bigger house that we don't think we need.

BIL and gf on the other hand have much larger house on 100% interest only mortgage, 2 cars on finance. They always claim to be skint but mil never comments on anything they do with their money as their outward appearances suggest they can 'afford' things, which they then buy on credit.

We just have such different priorities for our money than all dps family.