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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my friend has unrealistic expectations of people?

30 replies

SmugColditz · 28/10/2008 21:56

She has 3 small children, all under 6, and another on the way. She has someone picking the 4 and 5 year olds up from school every day, her partner gets up with the toddler every morning, and yesterday she was complaining that nobody ever seems to want to help her.

And I feel like shouting ... "Well, what did you expect? Are you agog with excitement at lumbering yourself with someone else's kids?"

I know she is pregnant, but to be honest she's had 3 kids in 5 years and is having another - she's always bloody pregnant. I will go and see her, I will let her moan to me about how fed up she is, but I'm not offering to help her any more than I would anyone else. I feel bad because I know how tiring being pregnant is ... but she was so tired last time, and I helped her a lot, and I can't help thinking she could do a little more to help herself.

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 29/10/2008 00:23

I agree with Zippi

How does this "other people helping" stuff get into people's heads?

If you decide to have children then they are your responsibility, aren't they?

Agree also with whomever suggested contraceptive advice

Oh and smug, you know you can get out of this relationship by taking a fulfilling aupair role, don't you?

NotQuiteCockney · 29/10/2008 08:31

Maybe the help she's looking for is some information about birth control?

onthewarpath · 29/10/2008 09:07

Got 4 DCs. No family arround to help (exept for DH who is my last link to sanity) and I cannot bring myself to ask friends for a bit of help. Believe me I am the stupid one.I am sure she is far less tired than I have been latelyand that her children are all the more happy for it. Surely if people help her they are willing to do so? Or is she putting a knife to their thoat? A lot of people over the years have told me "how unbelievably brave" I am for doing it. Well it is because I feel able to do it, she on the other hand, might not. It is not "unbelievably brave" at all ,just unbelievably proud and hard headed. I wish I had the guts to ask for help sometime !!!!

compo · 29/10/2008 09:14

I'm the youngest of four
My mum didn' leave near family either
She lived in a msall viallage though and people wrre very kind
The cleaner would clean and look after us one morning a week while she took 2 of us to the supermarket
Car seats hadn't been invented so friend's parents would bundle a couple of us into their cars for the school run when she had a newborn
people were kinder back then and it was easier to help out I guess

MrsMattie · 29/10/2008 09:15

You're jealous, aren't you? Admit it!

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