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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To Judge parents who leave their children in the TOYSHOP and then go SHOPPING or to the CAFE?? I feel an article in my local paper is taking shape.

75 replies

QuintessentialShadows · 26/10/2008 13:26

5-6 boys age between 5 and 7 were running riots in a local toyshop yesterday. Having Sword Fights, pushing and showing, running, kicking and jumping, knocking over displays of toys in the process.

I mentioned to the young woman at the tills that there was a gang of boys being very boisterous at the back of the shop, and she said: "It happens every saturday, parents use our toyshop as a creche while they go shopping, or having coffee."

How stupid and irresponsible can you get?

I am pretty irked. My son wanted to look at the Star Wars toys, we could get nowhere near them, due to the boys and the fighting.

AIBU to write a damning article in my local paper?

OP posts:

differentWitch · 26/10/2008 15:32

Mostly they shrug and look at you, as in "who the hell do you think you are?" Just because I work in a shop does not make me thick.

PhantomOfTheChocolateCake · 26/10/2008 15:33

I used to work in shops but have never encountered this before. I ment to say that if there was a pattern, if they came in at the same time then a manager could stand at the door and tell them they were not allowed in as the store is not a licenced creche and it is illegal. The manager wouldn't have to stay there all day, just while the parents and children moved on.

differentWitch · 26/10/2008 15:35

true, but I think this has become more common in the past couple of years.

differentWitch · 26/10/2008 15:37

Can you imagine if it was a mner who was stopped?
AIBU to think that my local *** are being complete c u n t's for not letting my children run around inside the store?

PhantomOfTheChocolateCake · 26/10/2008 15:39

lol! It's dangerous though. Imagine what would happen if one of them fell over or had an accident.

It is very irresponsible. What about posting a sign saying you will call the police if children under the age of 10 are left unattended in the shop?

differentWitch · 26/10/2008 15:43

Sadly, it's about appearing child friendly. Don't get me wrong- I love kids and am ttc at the moment, I have a good relationship with my friends son and think most people are sensible and supervise their children. Plus some 8 year olds are responsible enough to go into a shop and make a small purchase unsupervised. It is a small minority who make shopping uncomfortable and awkward and you cannot discriminate against those without alienating the larger customer base. As a customer, I have no qualms in telling people off if they piss me off.

PhantomOfTheChocolateCake · 26/10/2008 15:46

True.
ds does run off into the toy shop when we are shopping. He tends to beg for a poster and sits gawping at the Lego. I would not be happy if he was messing about though. There's no respect anymore.

differentWitch · 26/10/2008 15:48

I agree with that. I shouted at a boy of about 9 yesterday in Asda as he sprinted up the escalator and charged between me and dh. I'm just grateful I resisted the urge to stick a foot out and trip him up.

MarmadukeScarletbloodstains · 26/10/2008 15:49

A fw years ago my DH noticed 2 girls crying outside our local ELC and watched them until I returned, as he didn't want to approach them alone.

Their mother had left them in ELC and gone off shopping, older girl (7-8?) and younger (5-6?) both really distressed.

They eventually calmed down and were able to tell me where they thought their mother might be, on the third shop we found her - buying shoes.

She was furious that the girls had left ELC.

PhantomOfTheChocolateCake · 26/10/2008 15:51

I can see ds doing that, then I see me telling him off and making him appologise. I'm forever trying to teach him about mannars but I think some adults can be very bad at this so it makes it really tough when he's watching adults push in/not say please or thankyou. Children have to be taught these skills, if there's no one to teach them then they will never learn.

Bloodystumperlicious · 26/10/2008 15:57

I'm flabergasted at this!

lulumama · 26/10/2008 15:59

judge away, that is horrific.

differentWitch · 26/10/2008 16:07

We had 2 little girls aged about 4 and 3 left with a pushchair laden with shopping at the front of the store about 6 weeks ago. We were busy so they must have been there for a few minutes before we noticed. We stayed with them till Mum returned, but only after I had been sent to see if I could see her in any of the neighbouring shops. My superviser was just about to call the police 15 minutes after we found them, when she came running back from Claire's sodding Accessories a few doors away.

biscuitsmustbedunkedintea · 26/10/2008 16:09

When I was little and ELC used to have a table in the window with Brio trainset set out, my sister and I, along with many others, were often left in their playing while our mothers went shopping. Admitedly our mum was only next door and never longer than 10 mins and we were over 10. Asking around friends now who are the same age, all of us remember playing in there at one time or another while parents shopped, it seemed to be the norm back then. Of course now, it's terribly frowned upon, and with good reason.

Having worked in a Library too, I've had to deal with children being left in the childrens section. Remeber once having a mother ring up asking if we can put her children in a taxi for her as the nanny who was picking them up from the Library after school (it was their meeting point)had an accident and was in A&E. The mother was far too busy to come collect the children, but of course she presumed being a library, we wouldn't be too busy to walk her children acroos town to a taxi rank

cory · 26/10/2008 16:10

Depends on age. I do allow my 8yo to go down to the nearest shop and make a small purchase-v. good way of developing independence. 3 and 4 definitely too young IMO.

PhantomOfTheChocolateCake · 26/10/2008 16:10

I walked past a little child (about 1) in a pram outside a Quicksilver slot machine place. I thought this was bad as the parent was inside but it's nothing compared to this thread. I'm pleased a policeman was walking down the road and stopped.

MadamDeathstare · 26/10/2008 17:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hifi · 26/10/2008 18:20

the people in the shop should ask the children to leave, let them wait outside for the parents.

Earthymama · 26/10/2008 18:53

When I worked in a library a couple over the road would leave their 3 children, go back over the road to their house and go back to bed!!

8 & 4 yr old and small baby!! We soon put a stop to that but had to sprint like buggary to catch them as Saturday mornings were really busy.

Sadly in another branch, a 5 yr old would be in charge of a 3 yr old and a baby, complete with bottles nappies and money for the chippie.

Not worth reporting to SS as they'd not be able to do anything!!

nancy75 · 26/10/2008 19:02

you see loads of terrible parents when you work in retail,
a few years ago i had a customer come in with her son who was about 5/6, she was awful the child was really sweet,
she wanted to try on loads of stuff and kid was getting bored so she gave him a fiver and sent him off to get mcdonalds BY HIMSELF (mcdonalds the other end of a v large shopping centre to my shop).
about 15mins later boy had not come back, i was starting to get worried the mum had not noticed! after some time there was a lost child announcement saying security had found the child could parent please get him - she ignored it until i said to her i think thats your son?
she got pissed off and said you go and collect him if you want or leave him there until i am ready!
i felt so sorry for the kid i went and got him, he had got confused when he left mcdonalds couldnt remember where the mum was and was so upset.

When i got him back to the shop the mum went mental at him for being so stupid.

tigermoth · 26/10/2008 19:10

Madamdeathstare that's a notice with a sense of humour

Without knowing the layout of the shop in the OP, I can't say how bad the parents were in leaving their children in the toy section.

I do think it's wrong to go into a different shop or a separate cafe and am surprised that parents see toy shops as creches (and I thought I was quite keen for my sons to be independent)

I have left my sons age 8/9 and upwards in toy sections of a supermarkets, but only when I am a few rows away and not for long.

Becuase, bear in mind that around age 11, ie year 6 of primary school (and certainly by year 7 when they are at secondary school) it's not unusual for children to go into shopping centres with their friends at weekends and shop with them. So they are alone in shops for hours at a time.

Personally, I think children of 5 or 6 are too young to be left alone in toy sections - Ages 7 and upwards perhaps depending on how near the parent was, how long they were left and how they behaved.

Ihadtonamechange · 26/10/2008 19:24

But isn't the point that they were causing havoc, not that they were there alone? We went to a toy superstore near us, and were nearly knocked over by a group of kids who were riding the bikes and electric ride on toys round and round the aisle. Their parents were in the store - but to have to pick dd2 (age 5) up to stop her being knocked over was unacceptable IMO.

tigermoth · 26/10/2008 19:32

The point that the OP seems to be making in the title is the fact that children are left alone (so cause havoc). The two are linked of course.

Ripeberry · 26/10/2008 19:47

In our local shopping precinct there have been incidents of men hanging around places like ELC and The Entertainer, trying to walk off with children.
Don't these parents realise that some unsavoury characters frequent these places looking for the "abandoned" children.
V. scary that people think it's an OK thing to do!

ScottishMummy · 26/10/2008 19:50

i used to work in retail as student.regularly parents would abandon children go offsky.

we called police

they used to have a go at us for calling police.calling us busybodies, oh Lumheid's honestly. it was a classless act too. the harrumphing posh ones an the shell suit neds

Hey numnuts dont abandon your child going off traipsing round expecting a free crèche

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