To think that if you disagree with a poster you should be brave enough to say it when you see it rather than wait for someone else to say it and then pile in?

[mehgalegs]

I see it so often. Someone will start a thread which is a little bit dodgy (e.g the jordan one this morning - this is not a thread about that thread in particular, that's just a recent example)and one or two people will say "oh yes, I agree" and have a bit of a laugh and then a poster with the opposite opinion will say "Oi, that's not nice, don't say that, you are a freak etc..." there will then often follow a spate of similar posts all disagreeing with the op.

Why? Surely it can't be coincidenec that all the posters who take the opposite view suddenly all open the thread together. Are people guilty of not wanting to be the first to have a go, and then piling in when they see someone else has.

SAfety in nummbers?

Maybe...

Or maybe not everyone sees the thread at the exact same time? How do you know what the time-lag is between 'seeing it' and 'saying it'?

Turn it around - should you only give your opinion if you are the first one on thread to do so?

Was going to disagree with you.

...but thought I had best wait until someone else did first.

Well I read that thread after it had started and gave my opinion. A coincidence that so many posters think it's unkind to mock a baby due to their appearance? I don't think so.

No snaf, but it just seems coincidental that there will be a barage of "disgustings, freaks and YABVU" following the first post by someone of who has a difference of opinion with the op (knew I shouldn't have started this thread just as DS4 wakes up - can no longer concentrate) [smile}

No I agree cornsilk, I thought that thread was in poor taste but I didn't want to make this a thread about a particular thread. That was just an example and the one that made my mind whirr.

Perhaps it's the opposite. Perhaps people who agreed with the op didn't want to comment once posters had pointed out how horrible the thread was.

Ah I undestand now mehgalegs.

good point cs

Well taking that thread out of the equation, I do think you have a point.

ooh, difficult one! I think I'll stay on the fence and get splinters up my a*

I always pile in and say what I think straight away. Am often accused of being scrappy and harsh - but fuck it. If you don't want an honest reply, don't ask.

Amen to that Mrs Matiie.

It actually irritates me when people say "I say what I think and if people don't like it then f* it" or along those lines. Its usually the nob in a Big Brother type programme that says it thinking they are actually taking the moral high ground "because the are being honest to people" when actually it usually equates to having a lack of social judgement. In my opinion obviously.

That's not the spirit in which I intend my posts at all@jojosmaman. I don't advocate being rude for the sake of it. I do think that if people ask for an opinion on an internet forum, they need to be mature enough to accept that opinions - lots and lots of 'em - are what they will get. I also think it is slightly pathetic when people wait to see what others are going to say before they dare post their own views (which I'm sure goes on).

These are the reasons I give for saying what i think 'and fuck it'.

but you have to admit jordan's baby was wearing a very cute diaper

I agree OP. Sometimes threads take a turn and suddenly everyone jumps on the bandwagon!

The thread in question was amusing because the OP didn't actually make a judgement about the baby being ugly at all. Several posts later someone else made that judgement, and then suddenly everyone piled on the OP saying how awful she was.

Some people need to read threads more carefully!

Jojosmaman - I don't think there are many posters with that posting style on mumsnet to be fair.

I was just thinking the very same this morning. You get the opening post and whatever the tone of the second post determines how the thread is going to run until someone with a mind of their own posts and it then goes that way.

No cornsilk, not many, I was thinking more in RL but it just popped into my head that it really irritates me when people do this and I have seen it on the forum, particularly from "oldies". Having said that, imo that is one of the things what makes mn interesting and not netmums.

Mrsmattie, I agree, if you pose a question then you should expect differing views back and not get mardy if someone disagrees with you but there are plenty of posters on here who will disagree for the sake of it to stand out or become to pedantic about a point that they no forewell wasnt intended in a certain way. Back to my original point tho, I do think that sometimes it is not necessary to be brutal or rude, even if you think you are being true to yourself or honest (and I mean the royal you, not you !)

It does happen, yes.

But it usually all evens itself out because so many people then comeon with an opposite point of view that you start to feel sorry for the op, someone points this out in a rational manner and then all the rampantly opposed people feel like shit.