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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Recurring argument about hot water

58 replies

Quattrocento · 20/10/2008 21:40

Throughout our marriage we've had this recurring argument - which happens to be about hot water. Slightly sad, I know but I really need to know if IABU.

I like hot water. I like lashings and lashings of it to be available at all times of the day and night. I have a ridiculous job that frequently entails me leaving at 5.30 (and I have to leave showered because I can't face the day grubby) or arriving back ridiculously late and feeling grubby.

We can't have a combi boiler because of the size of the house. So I want to leave the hot water on all the time.

DH's response is to object on the grounds of cost. I offer to pay the bills. He says that's irrelevant because what's mine is his and vice versa. I don't disagree with him but it's ironic that he only uses this argument when it suits him. The au-pair, for instance, is most definitely mine.

So when I get particularly shrewish (generally after a Lack of Hot Water Episode) he swears by all that he holds holy to leave the hot water on all the time. Which is fine, until the next Lack of Hot Water Episode, when I discover he has been sneakily switching it off.

This has happened around once a year for the last seventeen years. Grounds for divorce? If yes, who is behaving unreasonably?

OP posts:
Original poster
Quattrocento · 20/10/2008 22:06

Okay, I will do a controlled experiment to find out about boilers.

I'm intrigued that we might be able to have a combi - they were adamant about that - might be the thing to save our marriage

OP posts:
onager · 20/10/2008 22:09

If the immersion heater is well insulated it's not actually on all the time anyway as they have a thermostat. It would really only be on say 1 minute out of every 5 to keep it hot. So having it on 24 hours wouldn't cost 24 times as much as having it on one hour.

I don't know exactly how much so a test would be a great idea.

monkeymonkeymonkey · 20/10/2008 22:11

Why do they say you cant have a combi?

hotCheeseBurns · 20/10/2008 22:11

I'm sure you shouldn't be using an immersion heater regularly, the boiler is there to heat your water, it's much more efficient (and therefore cheap).

Immersion heaters are extemely expensive to run and generally there for emergencies e.g. a problem with your gas supply or times when you need unusually large amounts of hot water.

I'd be concerned about the settings on your boiler and cylinder and the standard of insulation.

Mandelbrot · 20/10/2008 22:14

onager - that's what I meant - thanks for exposition

One thing to consider with a combi is water pressure - if it's a bit low a combi is out, I've heard. I think a combi can be a false economy in a large house, or where a lot of hot water is used.

PeaMcLean · 20/10/2008 22:15

Quattro, are they saying your house is too big or too small for a combi? I know they can be a problem if it's too big - but I do know people with two boilers (!) which each cover certain sections of the house.

If you have several en suites with lots of people wanting showers it may be worth thinking about a combi just for the bedrooms?

wordgirl · 20/10/2008 22:15

Yes, our immersion heater only ever gets used when the boiler breaks down. I am surprised that so many people use them all the time.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 20/10/2008 22:17

Well we've got this boiler insurance thingy and a nice man services it and goes over whether or not we need to spend more money more insulation and stuff so I think we are okay on that score.

They said no to combi because of various things, but mainly size and location of tanks/showers/radiators and stuff. But you can tell I haven't a clue and just believe everything they tell me on principle

OP posts:
JuxBackFromTheDead · 20/10/2008 22:18

"We've got 3 in our house (we only use one though). Sounds like plumbers' bollocks to me. If you're near me, I'll give you the name and phone no of a good plumber!"

3 electric showers that is.

Tortington · 20/10/2008 22:20

D.I.V.O.R.C.E

hot water at all times in this house

Original poster
Quattrocento · 20/10/2008 22:21
OP posts:
onager · 20/10/2008 22:21

I just use an immersion heater because I live in a flat. There is no gas supply at all.

elliott · 20/10/2008 22:22

I'm SO glad to hear that other people have recurring arguments verging on grounds for divorce about utterly ridiculous things
I'm sure someone else will have suggested this, but why can't you have the hot water on for a couple of hours before you are likely to need it? That's waht we do - its set to come on for an hour between 5 and 6am, and that gives enough water for us both to shower. Failing that, why not just use the electric shower?
[I'm afraid I'm with your dh on this one...]

Original poster
Quattrocento · 20/10/2008 22:23

Inspirational thinking Pea - combi for the bedrooms.

OP posts:
Mandelbrot · 20/10/2008 22:24

I think Quattro sometimes needs hot water at odd times with little notice - is that right?

Having hot water on at all times isn't as costly as having the immersion on if you have a gas boiler, I believe. And see what onager said.

morningpaper · 20/10/2008 22:24

I would just install an electric shower in you bathroom, along with your current shower

It will cost maybe £500-£1,000 and will save your marriage

that's like a course at Relate, but without all that nasty impinging on your time

A new boiler might need new pipework etc. and could cost 10k or so +

onager · 20/10/2008 22:24

I had another thought about the cost of leaving an immersion heater on 24/7, at least in winter. Any heat escaping is warming the house anyway isn't it.

fishie · 20/10/2008 22:26

we have got a terrible thing which is a gravity system, so no heating without hot water on and heating is always on upstairs if hot water is going. i use immersion thingy instead a lot and also have electic shower.

PeaMcLean · 20/10/2008 22:27

10k? Nah, surely not. Not cheap, but less than half that for just showers? Radiators would still work off existing supply?

Tiggiwinkle · 20/10/2008 22:28

It is not an immersion Quatro has by the sound of it, but a storage system boiler as opposed to a combination. (You can have both if you have a storage system, using the immersion for back-up if the system is not working for any reason.) A combi is not the best choice for a large house or household-we were advised against having one because there are 7 of us to have showers etc.
Ours is on all day too-only goes off duting the night.

Original poster
Quattrocento · 20/10/2008 22:28

On the electric shower thing - they most definitely said we couldn't have another one. They did that sharp intake of breath through the teeth thing that they do. Like this:

Which means that it would be cheaper to demolish and rebuild the house than to have another electric shower fitted

OP posts:
SixSpotBonfire · 20/10/2008 22:30

I hate not having hot water too, but honestly, we have our boiler on to heat the water for about 1.5 hours in morning and about 2 hours at night and there is always lots of hot water. Enough for me to have long shower every morning, and for at least one shower and bath in the evening.

judgenutmeg · 20/10/2008 22:31

We have an ancient heating system that only heats the water in the winter. We have the immersion on all year long and our bills are very reasonable. Our tank is very well lagged which helps, I think.

I think that systems differ. I would pay an electrician to set a timer onto the immersion so that it clicks on for an hour at about tea-time. That way you know you will have a bath to come home to.

Immersion turning-off is reason 2345678 that my FIL is banned from the house as he was unable to ever resist turning off the switch which meant no warm water at all in summer.

My bills are very reasonable, even if yours aren't if hot water is something you are happy to pay for then you should be able to find a way to sort it out.

morningpaper · 20/10/2008 22:31

ask someone else

you might need a new fuse box

but hotels do this

Original poster
Quattrocento · 20/10/2008 22:34

I know I'm sounding more than a bit incompetent here, but I didn't mean the immersion being on. I meant the boiler on all the time.

I don't think it warms the house being on (much though I would love that as a reason). This is because the boiler is in the garage and the hot and cold water tanks are in the loft. Apparently they are both massive but I haven't been up to look. If heat rises, the only things benefiting from my wanton extravagance (other than me) are any birds sitting on the roof.

OP posts: