oh I know I am but to be upset about party (Iknow, iknow)

[Quadrophenia]

am feeling really sorry for my dd aged 8. A little girl in her glass is routinely really horrible to her, they are part of the same friendship group but have never really clicked, just in the last week my dd has been called a 'twat', told she is stupid and laughed at for not being in the top group at swimming. this is just a small selection of the ones she tells me about. Now said child was at school today with a big pile of invites, and not one for my dd. Now after many years of the whole party thing it doesn't usually upset me but to know this is just another stick which wil be used to beat her with 'you're not coming to my party' etc I just feel very sad for her. I think she really doesn't understand what it is she has done to deserve the wrath of this little girl. So am i allowed to be upset that my dd hasn't been invited to the party?

have the girls over to tea, with one exception of course

make muffins or cakes and put on a dvd

she'll be fine

Crikey, of course you're entitled to feel upset.

Good opportunity in talking to your DD about how wrong it is to behave like the other child, and how it makes that person (the bully) the horrible bad person, not your DD, no matter what nasty things other child does or says.

for your DD.

It's a tricky one - if she had been invited and had gone then would she have been singled out by this girl and possibly been picked on at the party?

I think although it must be hard for your DD to not have been invited it's probably better in the long run

When I was younger and didn't get invites to parties (and yes I did occasionally - but not always I hasted to add get the "you're not coming to my party malarkey) my mum told me to says "well I didn't want to come anyway" (or words to that effect) - seemed to do the trick.

It could also be that you're feeling a little more sensitive about it because of everything else that's going on?

god kids can be so cruel but I have to ask something (prepares to be flailed)

at age 8 should the girl's mother not be saying to her that it isn't nice to exclude one from the group when discussing invites? I wouldn't let my dd not invite only one person. It would be all invited and told to behave or none at all

excuse me if am wrong, my dd is only 5 so haven't reached this yet lol

am liking the idea of a tea party to get dd back on track, in fact i owe a few play dates atm

yeah am probably more sensitive than usual didn't think of that!!

do you know what the mum who usually speaks to me looked away very quickly today, I certainly would go down the inclusion route myself.

well there in lies the problem, she has raised a spoiled little girl who doesn't have the manners to include everyone and she doesn't have the balls to stand up to her about it

tea party away and make sure your dd enjoys the planning of it as thats half the fun

I had this. A boy invited every boy in the class to his party apart from DS and Joshua...I asked DS:

"are you sure you two are the only one's not invited?"

DS said:

"yes"

so I replied

"well, you two must be really special then".

I hate school kids.

She could make her own invites to her tea party.

mrssnape it's awful isn't it?

last year my dd didn't get invited but it was a smaller group of children this year judging from the pile of invites it was a bigger affair, lol check me out studying the invite pile!!
Thanks for the tea party idea Twig, dd will definately love that.

Why not organise something exciting and special for you and dd to do on the same day as the party, then if this little girl says, 'You're not coming to my party,' your dd can say she couldn't have come anyway as you and she are doing something soooo much better.
for your dd and for this other girl's behaviour and mother's behaviour.

its horrible for your daughter, and i have felt this myself with my own DC when they haven't been invited to things

but if this other girl doesn't like your DD, for whatever reason, then she doesn't have to invite her and as another poster said its probably for the best as she may well have been picked on for something when there or felt uncomfortable being there herself, which wouldn't have been good for her either

this other girl doesn't sound like she is very kind to your dd, so it may be worth spending a bit of time talking to your dd about why children act the way they do sometimes and helping her think of some suitable 'come backs' too

have you ever spoken to the mother about it? or asked the teacher what its like in school?

what do 8yr old girls want the most?
their ears pierced? to go and see high school musical?

whatever it is they all want to do go and do that so your dd isn't thinking about the party and when she goes in to school on the Mon she has that to talk about whilst handing out the invites to her tea party!!

Oh it breaks your heart when someone hurts your baby, no matter how old they are...

Here's a thought, my mum used to go out of her way to invite over anyone I was having problems with. (she believes in keeping enemies close ) More often than not though, it ended in friendship.

Best example is my oldest friend (we're 34 now), at four, she and her brother used to stick their tongues out at me whenever they saw me (we were neighbours), and I went crying to my mum, next thing I knew, she'd invited them round for a lolly, which I apparently was NOT happy about, but it worked, we're such good friends now!

Although you'd probably rather ring this little madam's neck, perhaps you could take her and your daughter to see High Shool Musical or something to impress her (think I'm up to date with what's cool?!).

In the long run it would help your daughter, the other mum would probably be on board if you explained they hadn't "hit it off".