letting Dss share my bed when I'm feeling lonely?

[littleyellowbird]

Friend 'told me off' when I said I let my 7 and 9 yr old boys kip with me when I need a cuddle. Feeling completely fed up at the moment and just on the edge of coping so it sometimes feels good to all curl up together for the night. They consider it a treat, I don't often let them but it's been a bit more regular lately - about once a week.

Friend said it didn't seem fair to 'use' them for hug when i felt rotten - I was the mum and shouldn't expect them to comfort me. I don't tell my boys thats why I let them share the bed, I try hard not to ever show them if I'm having a rough time.

I don't see any harm in it, do you?

personally i think YANBU I think it is lovely. Helps them learn empathy. You arent offloading problems on them etc you are having a cuddle and is lovely to curl up.

Sorry but the posters who have said it is wrong and they arent their to fulfill you needs are a bit extreme imo.

Now if you had posted and said I am telling my kids all the adult problems i have and turn to them for support in a way i should an adult then i would say yabu, but you arent doing that.

Ignore your friend and enjoy your kids as they are only small for such a short time.

Oh and when my dad died i was 16 and i slept in with my mum for a while then. Nights were horrid as we were both so and it just helped having eachother there. Didnt lie in eachothers arms or anything like that, just sharing a room was enough. Did try in the bed but she kept pinching the duvet.

Now i am ALOT older and thinking back now it still was very much the right thing then.