Auction of promises

[SqueakyPop]

Back in Jan/Feb, my DDs' primary school had an auction of promises.

I offered up 3 x1 hr sessions of GCSE or Sats Science revision. The auction was won by someone with a child in Yr 4. When she first contacted me, I offered to tag her son along with my Brownies as they were doing their Science Investigator badge. I thought this was quite charitible given that what she won was quite inappropriate.

Anyway, tonight, she actually phoned me (no idea where she got my number from), insisting that I do these three sessions with her DS. I asked how much she paid, and she said £15. I said that I would have been willing to do what I offered (ie GCSE revision) but not putting on 3 lots of entertainment for her 9 year old for £15. My time was much more valuable than that.

DH disagrees and says I should entertain her boy for 3 Saturday mornings regardless, but I have written her a cheque for £15, and will write another to school for £85, given that I considered my donation to be £100.

What does Mumsnet think?

[Flamesparrow]

We still don't actually know if she did bid for something you weren't offering as you can't remember and don't appear to want to find out if you specified what level SATs

[SqueakyPop]

I know that I didn't offer actual teaching/experiments

[Eddas]

squeaky, i'd do as you've said. Refund the cash. Donate more to the school if you wish, and just say she wants something that you can't provide and didn't offer.

Don't feel bad.

[SqueakyPop]

I think that's the best solution, Eddas

[Flamesparrow]

YOU offered the experiments with the Brownie thing. If you didn't specify the level then she thought she was bidding on KS2 SATs revision stuff.

[Eddas]

I know you offered to combine his session with Brownies, which is sensible IMO. But if I were you all i'd do is call the mother, say I'm sorry for misleading you, if I did, but the sessions were meant for x or y, I tried to think of a compromise with the brownies, but you understanbly didn't want that. However, at this time I do not have spare time to devote to setting up sessions for an x age child as that was not my intention when I offered the sessions. Please accept my apologies. I will of course refund your auction fee and I will be donating £x to the school by way of an apology.

And then i'd just leave it. If she has an issue tough. You have more than compensated. If she says her child is missing out, just reiterate that no they aren't since you were offering sessions for an x aged child and this is inappropriate for her child.

Any person should understand this, if she doesn't she is unreasonable IMO.

[SqueakyPop]

KS2 sats revision is fine. I would have happily done that with a Y6 child, but not with a Y4 child.

The Brownie thing was time dependent. It was over in the Spring term. Basically, what I did was brought equipment and chemicals home from school and bought whatever other supplies I needed, and then run through with DD to make sure that it would all work on the night. I did this over four weeks and I won't be doing it again for a couple of years.

It was a mistake to offer the Brownie thing - it was not part of the auction pledge. I was just doing it to be nice.

[AbbeyA]

I would try and get the Head to mediate. Even if you were to do KS2 sats revision the Yr 4 child is too young. You can't do revision if you haven't done the work to revise!

[SqueakyPop]

Yikes - it's nothing to do with the head!

[tooscaredtothink]

I appreciate you were trying to accomodate with the brownies although I can understand why she didn't want to take you up on that.

Could it be that she doesn't think you were her slave, but because her ds is in Y4 and would hate being in a room full Brownies?

[childrenofthecornsilk]

I think YABU. She paid £15. Sitting in on you practising your brownies experiments is probably not what she thought she'd get. Why can't you do 3 hours of tuition with him?

[SqueakyPop]

It wouldn't have been with the Brownies. It would have been at home on a Saturday with just my DD. I practiced all the experiments with DD before doing them with my Brownies.

[SqueakyPop]

Because I was offering revision - not the same as tuition.

For tuition, I would have to do prep (I am not a primary teacher with ready made resources) and that would cut down on the time which I suspect would not have been welcome.

[childrenofthecornsilk]

But that's not directed at his needs which is presumably what she thought she'd get. I just can't understand why you can't do 3 hours of tuition with him.

[SqueakyPop]

He's Y4 - he doesn't have any needs

[childrenofthecornsilk]

Surely not - this is year 4 and you're presumably a specialist science teacher. Just look at the schemes of work for year 4 and do an impromptu lesson. That's what I'd do.

[tooscaredtothink]

"I offered to tag her son along with my Brownies as they were doing their Science Investigator badge"

[childrenofthecornsilk]

here Even I could cobble something together for that.

[SqueakyPop]

Yeah, anyone can do it.

[childrenofthecornsilk]

Well I'm a primary teacher so I can teach year 4 science. I wasn't having a dig your subject.

[SqueakyPop]

Then I'm sure you plan your lessons, especially when you do them for the first time, and especially when you do practical work.

I don't actually have ready-made resources for Y4 children, so would have to make whatever I used myself.

I am familiar with the Standards Site but it doesn't give you bespoke ready-to-go lessons, and they certainly don't set up practicals for you and go out shopping for chemicals!

[childrenofthecornsilk]

Well I think you made the promise and should honour it. Yes she is being a pain and it is very strange to phone someone that you don't know in the way that she did. However surely many chn in secondary at GCSE would also need careful planning, if they had SN for instance.

[AnarchyAunt]

Its impossible to say without having the exact wording of the promise.

If it did specify 'GCSE revision' then YANBU and she should not have bid on it.
She should be grateful that you offered any kind of compromise really.

But if it said simply 'SATs revision' then she has a point.

Have to say she is being pushy PITA (IMO) whatever as I disagree with the idea of a child of 9 having extra revision sessions for SATs anyway.

[SqueakyPop]

I did offer GCSE (Edexcel), and KS2/3 Sats. I would have been more than willing to work with a Y6 or Y9 child, although I agree, they do far too much revision as it is.

Revision would not have required me to plan ahead, as it would be a case of the child telling me what they don't understand and then working through it together, or simply running through the specification.

[No19]

I am a bit late in this discussion but I think that while she was obviously a bit dense to buy something she didn't need, it's a bit bloody-minded to be writing her a cheque for fifteen quid and saying you won't donate again and that your charity is being abused or whatever. If someone had bid 2 quid for three GCSE revision sessions would you have said, bog off, I am worth more than that?

If you were going to be so pinchy about the whole thing you should have been very clear in your offer and specified an age of child and a learning level, and a reserve price if that bothered you.

She probably went to the auction, thought at the last minute Christ I'd better get something, I've done nothing but drink wine and flirt with the sports teacher all night, oh science session ME please yes 12 oh ME ME 14 oh MEEEE 15 SOLD thank you very much. Woke up next day and thought why did I not bid on the reflexology session, oh well let's get value for my 15 quid.

I doubt she thought how can I screw SqueakyPop!