Auction of promises

[SqueakyPop]

Back in Jan/Feb, my DDs' primary school had an auction of promises.

I offered up 3 x1 hr sessions of GCSE or Sats Science revision. The auction was won by someone with a child in Yr 4. When she first contacted me, I offered to tag her son along with my Brownies as they were doing their Science Investigator badge. I thought this was quite charitible given that what she won was quite inappropriate.

Anyway, tonight, she actually phoned me (no idea where she got my number from), insisting that I do these three sessions with her DS. I asked how much she paid, and she said £15. I said that I would have been willing to do what I offered (ie GCSE revision) but not putting on 3 lots of entertainment for her 9 year old for £15. My time was much more valuable than that.

DH disagrees and says I should entertain her boy for 3 Saturday mornings regardless, but I have written her a cheque for £15, and will write another to school for £85, given that I considered my donation to be £100.

What does Mumsnet think?

[AbbeyA]

You could do revision with the year 3 work and half a term of year 4 work but I don't see the point. You revise for an exam. (If he was finding science difficult he would want tuition not revision.)

[angrypixie]

But, and I promise for the last time, you can do KS2 SATs revision with y4 because the science SAT covers the KS2 curriculum not just what they learned in y6.

You could, and should in my opinion, be able to revise the topics covered in y3 and Autumn y4. No one is suggesting you should do practical experiments just provide what you offered.

Obviously you have already decided against this but I just don't get the problem

[AbbeyA]

Revision is entirely different from tuition.
I think your mistake was offering to do anything different with the Brownie experiments.
I agree the Head is the wrong person to mediate-how about the chair of the PTA?
I would stick to what you offered. It is the buyer at fault. If someone offered a family ticket for a swimming pool the person who won it at the auction couldn't say they didn't like swimming and wanted to go bowling!
The buyer made a mistake-she needs to sell it on to someone who wants it.

[SqueakyPop]

Divvy

[Divvy]

or, you just could have given her a iou for 5 years time!

[Divvy]

Tell her it would involve some sex education, as that was what you had on the gcse planner

[Saturn74]

I'm not surprised the mother contacted you.
I expect she got your contact details from one of the school committee members.
She paid her money over 8 months ago, and is still waiting for the tuition.
I can't imagine my sons would be thrilled at the offer of tagging along with the Brownies.
I think you have handled this whole situation really badly, tbh.
You could have invited him for one three hour session, done a couple of kitchen experiments, chatted to him about what he most likes about science, then stuck a science programme from BBC Schools on the laptop or television, shoved a packet of biscuits towards him - job done.
I think you could have been more flexible - it is for charidee afterall.

[brimfull]

yanbu-if I had won that and it wasn't relevant to me I would have either given it to someone who could use it or just not used it and considered it a £15 donation to the school.

[childrenofthecornsilk]

You have sent a cheque for £85 to the school?

[SqueakyPop]

DD has just left for school with the cheque

[No19]

And if I read rightly you would prefer to pay 15 to her and 85 to the school - so pay 100 pounds rather than deliver 3 sessions to a nine-year-old?

[AnarchyAunt]

Looks like mum didn't have the faintest idea what 'revision' actually entails.

I agree, revision is about identifying areas they are struggling with and going over them. A 9yo is unlikely to need 'revision' and what she is angling for is 'extra tuition' which is not what is on offer.

I do think you should offer something, just for the goodwill/charidee aspect. But I'd do as others have suggested and have him round, plonk a textbook and some sort of test paper (print off net) in front of him, and let him be so bored he begs his mum not to send him again.

[No19]

I am a bit late in this discussion but I think that while she was obviously a bit dense to buy something she didn't need, it's a bit bloody-minded to be writing her a cheque for fifteen quid and saying you won't donate again and that your charity is being abused or whatever. If someone had bid 2 quid for three GCSE revision sessions would you have said, bog off, I am worth more than that?

If you were going to be so pinchy about the whole thing you should have been very clear in your offer and specified an age of child and a learning level, and a reserve price if that bothered you.

She probably went to the auction, thought at the last minute Christ I'd better get something, I've done nothing but drink wine and flirt with the sports teacher all night, oh science session ME please yes 12 oh ME ME 14 oh MEEEE 15 SOLD thank you very much. Woke up next day and thought why did I not bid on the reflexology session, oh well let's get value for my 15 quid.

I doubt she thought how can I screw SqueakyPop!

[SqueakyPop]

I did offer GCSE (Edexcel), and KS2/3 Sats. I would have been more than willing to work with a Y6 or Y9 child, although I agree, they do far too much revision as it is.

Revision would not have required me to plan ahead, as it would be a case of the child telling me what they don't understand and then working through it together, or simply running through the specification.

[AnarchyAunt]

Its impossible to say without having the exact wording of the promise.

If it did specify 'GCSE revision' then YANBU and she should not have bid on it.
She should be grateful that you offered any kind of compromise really.

But if it said simply 'SATs revision' then she has a point.

Have to say she is being pushy PITA (IMO) whatever as I disagree with the idea of a child of 9 having extra revision sessions for SATs anyway.

[childrenofthecornsilk]

Well I think you made the promise and should honour it. Yes she is being a pain and it is very strange to phone someone that you don't know in the way that she did. However surely many chn in secondary at GCSE would also need careful planning, if they had SN for instance.

[SqueakyPop]

Then I'm sure you plan your lessons, especially when you do them for the first time, and especially when you do practical work.

I don't actually have ready-made resources for Y4 children, so would have to make whatever I used myself.

I am familiar with the Standards Site but it doesn't give you bespoke ready-to-go lessons, and they certainly don't set up practicals for you and go out shopping for chemicals!

[childrenofthecornsilk]

Well I'm a primary teacher so I can teach year 4 science. I wasn't having a dig your subject.

[SqueakyPop]

Yeah, anyone can do it.

[childrenofthecornsilk]

here Even I could cobble something together for that.

[tooscaredtothink]

"I offered to tag her son along with my Brownies as they were doing their Science Investigator badge"

[childrenofthecornsilk]

Surely not - this is year 4 and you're presumably a specialist science teacher. Just look at the schemes of work for year 4 and do an impromptu lesson. That's what I'd do.

[SqueakyPop]

He's Y4 - he doesn't have any needs

[childrenofthecornsilk]

But that's not directed at his needs which is presumably what she thought she'd get. I just can't understand why you can't do 3 hours of tuition with him.

[SqueakyPop]

Because I was offering revision - not the same as tuition.

For tuition, I would have to do prep (I am not a primary teacher with ready made resources) and that would cut down on the time which I suspect would not have been welcome.