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AIBU?

Auction of promises

137 replies

SqueakyPop · 19/10/2008 19:33

Back in Jan/Feb, my DDs' primary school had an auction of promises.

I offered up 3 x1 hr sessions of GCSE or Sats Science revision. The auction was won by someone with a child in Yr 4. When she first contacted me, I offered to tag her son along with my Brownies as they were doing their Science Investigator badge. I thought this was quite charitible given that what she won was quite inappropriate.

Anyway, tonight, she actually phoned me (no idea where she got my number from), insisting that I do these three sessions with her DS. I asked how much she paid, and she said £15. I said that I would have been willing to do what I offered (ie GCSE revision) but not putting on 3 lots of entertainment for her 9 year old for £15. My time was much more valuable than that.

DH disagrees and says I should entertain her boy for 3 Saturday mornings regardless, but I have written her a cheque for £15, and will write another to school for £85, given that I considered my donation to be £100.

What does Mumsnet think?

OP posts:

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Flamesparrow · 19/10/2008 20:22

Did it SAY what level SATs you were offering?

cat64 · 19/10/2008 20:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

combustiblelemon · 19/10/2008 20:23

It would be bloody tricky to find 3 hours of stuff for a child that age that wouldn't bore him rigid by repeating stuff he already knew or tread on teachers' toes by covering stuff he's going to do in the next year or two.

SqueakyPop · 19/10/2008 20:23

This reminds me of an episode of the Vicar of Dibley, where is a big fundraising/sponsorshp thing, and the members of the PCC just ask if they can donate cash instead.

OP posts:

TeeBee · 19/10/2008 20:25

Can you not just have him over for the afternoon after school. Do some science bits with him at his level, but otherwise let him play in the garden and give him a bit of pasta for tea.

angrypixie · 19/10/2008 20:26

You could do 3 sessions of SATs revision that would be appropriate. SATS test the ks2 science curriculum not just 'what they have done in year 6' So, revising what they have done in years 3 and 4 is SATs revision.

I think you are morally obligated to do it. You offered - she bought. I think you are coming out of this looking petty.

angrypixie · 19/10/2008 20:27

sorry - have just read that it is KS3 SATs. You did not say that in OP so did you state it clearly in the auction?

Twiglett · 19/10/2008 20:27

I wouldn't do it as childcare to be honest .. I'd offer to go round to her house whilst she's in

there is a different duty of care with a 9 year old to a 14 / 15 year old I feel

mazzystartled · 19/10/2008 20:28

I think the problem is that its a bit like offering to knit someone a scarf, and them expecting you to crochet them a pair of socks.

Tutoring for GCSE revision is just not the same as developing a set of activities for an 8 year old.

I think op, unless you go along with something, you are going to end up seeming ungracious, and I even think the cheque thing compounds that somehow.

I would make it clear to the winning bidder and the school that you are happy to do what you said you would do for somebody. But maybe doing a one-off session for boy and 1 of his mates [insist one of his parents must be present] would make life easier.

Flamesparrow · 19/10/2008 20:29

No, def nto childcare. If you didn't say that it was KS3 sats, then you have to do his level sats revision at HIS home.

If you DID say, then tell her you can only do it for a KS3 child.

Twiglett · 19/10/2008 20:30

yes agree that the returning of the money and the donation to school comes across as churlish rather than generous .. again apologies

lulumama · 19/10/2008 20:31

definitely churlish.
if she knew exactly what she was bidding for, surely that does make it flattering that she wants your teacherly input?

SqueakyPop · 19/10/2008 20:32

I could do lots of things, including KS2 revision. It's not what I offered, however. I would be happy to do proper experiments given how badly practical work is done in most primary schools, but it is a lot more than what I offered. The effort for practical work is not irrelevelnt (which is why KS2 children do hardly any practical work).

As many mumsneters have said, it was wrong to get into the money, which is hwat DH said. However, I think that I can get out of this awful situation by giving the donor the money back that she paid. I will also give money to the school and an explanation to the head teacher.

I really do not object to doing stuff with KS2 children. I love it really - but I don't do it witout thinking and actually put a lot of thought into it.

OP posts:

PeasForTeaAgain · 19/10/2008 20:33

Reading again... I am thinking maybe you do have a point. if you offered Reception class revision but a 16 year old 'won' it, then you wouldnt even dream of it would you? (Good point cat54!). So maybe have a word and tell her that. I dont think you need to be offering £85 to the school. As people keep saying, it's not about the money or the 'worth'of your time. What a nightmare - the bl**dy woman is a royal pain. I can feel your anguish!!

Flamesparrow · 19/10/2008 20:33

DID you state the level in the auction though???

Mandelbrot · 19/10/2008 20:35

I would expect a GSCE-er year old to show up with their books and a list of questions.

I think that's more than you can ask of an 8 year old. It's more work for you because you now need to structure the sessions more. Hence, keeping it simple is the way to go. I don't think YABU to stick to what you offered, but in the spirit of not causing grief I would offer a second compromise (ie after the Brownie thing) and if she says no to that, it's hard carbon for her.

Twiglett · 19/10/2008 20:35

DID you specify KS3 SATS in your offer?

that's the crux now (to me anyway)

PeasForTeaAgain · 19/10/2008 20:37

hahaha. hard carbon. trying to think of something else funny...

SqueakyPop · 19/10/2008 20:37

It's ages ago Flame, but I'm pretty sure it was only to do with exam revision.

OP posts:

angrypixie · 19/10/2008 20:37

I'm with Twiglett, Mumsnet jury needs the wording on the auction.

Flamesparrow · 19/10/2008 20:38

But any stage SATs are exams.

If you offered just vaguely SATs, then it needs to be given

angrypixie · 19/10/2008 20:38

'cos as you see, we all read SATs and assumed KS 2, it is not unreasonable that in a primary school auction she would have done the same.

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SqueakyPop · 19/10/2008 20:39

I think it is a case of live and learn.

From now on, my donations will be hard cash.

OP posts:

SqueakyPop · 19/10/2008 20:40

I would have been happy to coach KS2 sats - I think I even said this in my offer. At the time, this child was two years short.

OP posts:

angrypixie · 19/10/2008 20:41

Or offer something more appropriate for parents with children at primary school e.g. just one session of practical science for 3 children.

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