Auction of promises

[SqueakyPop]

Back in Jan/Feb, my DDs' primary school had an auction of promises.

I offered up 3 x1 hr sessions of GCSE or Sats Science revision. The auction was won by someone with a child in Yr 4. When she first contacted me, I offered to tag her son along with my Brownies as they were doing their Science Investigator badge. I thought this was quite charitible given that what she won was quite inappropriate.

Anyway, tonight, she actually phoned me (no idea where she got my number from), insisting that I do these three sessions with her DS. I asked how much she paid, and she said £15. I said that I would have been willing to do what I offered (ie GCSE revision) but not putting on 3 lots of entertainment for her 9 year old for £15. My time was much more valuable than that.

DH disagrees and says I should entertain her boy for 3 Saturday mornings regardless, but I have written her a cheque for £15, and will write another to school for £85, given that I considered my donation to be £100.

What does Mumsnet think?

[Twiglett]

Am I misunderstanding? PRimary schools do SATs in year 6 too .. can't you offer revision based on literacy, maths or science that they do?

[monkeymonkeymonkey]

Just because the price she paid is less than you think it is worth that in itself doesnt mean that she is trying to take advantage of you. Its the way that auctions work isnt it - you bid a little bit more than the last person, and when you are the last one bidding you get it. It just means that no-one wanted to pay more than her, not that she was taking advantake.

[SqueakyPop]

What do you think I should actually do, Twiglett?

[lulumama]

agree with twig

and if she had paid £100 , would you still be quibbling?

you can;t be cross no-one bid higher than £15

do 3 x 1 hour sessions of SATs or something else age appropriate and get it over with

if you refund her then you are going to come across as high and mighty i;m afraid

[mazzystartled]

I think the price she paid is totally irrelevant and its maybe a bit sniffy to say your time is worth more than £15 [which obviously it is, but might cvme across wrong]

but the auction was not for 3 hours of the op's time
she didn't offer babysitting, childcare, kids entertainment or even sats revision
she offered gcse revision, which presumably she is well qualified to deliver
why should she have to swot up on the primary school curriculum in order to do something she never claimed to be able to do?

[lulumama]

my DS is in year 4 and would be thrilled to spend some time with a real science teacher doing some fun experiments. which is a bit more fun for you too than 3 hours of revision?

[FAQ]

not she offered 3hrs of revision at a certain level.

If she'd just said "3hrs of science revision/work" that would be totally different - but there were specifics on it.

I do agree that the "value" side of it is irrelevant though - I've got a weekend of labour from a professional builder/painter and decorator that I won for £69 MUCH less than the real value of his time.

[SqueakyPop]

I think refunding the donation is the best I can do at this time.

I am not going to do paper exercises - they do far too much of this.

The child is not in Beavers/Scouts so doesn't have a badge to work towards. I would be very happy to run a badge, as I have done in Brownies.

I said that I could defer to Y6 for Sats but couldn't guarantee that my daughters would be in the school then (I would like to spare my DD the sats preparation and move her into the independent sector by the start of year 6).

[combustiblelemon]

at 'fun'

[SqueakyPop]

Yeah, DH said that it all went south when we mentioned money.....

[Twiglett]

I don't get why you're so opposed to doing some work with him.. what am I missing?

I would suggest that you ask the mother to speak to his teacher and ask for some areas to cover in the 3 hours then do what you do .. make it come alive for him for a couple of hours

[lulumama]

if you refund it, prepare to be viewed harshly... i don;t see why you can;t do the three hours of work with him..

[lulumama]

why does it make a differnce if your DDs are in the school or not?

[Twiglett]

I don't know you but merely from what you've posted you are risking sounding dishonourable .. sorry

[Twiglett]

did you mention money to her?

you offered something to the school

you are now backing out

what's your actual reason for not fulfilling your promise?

[lulumama]

[mazzystartled]

why not offer her her £ back, but say that you will offer 3 hrs gcse revision as promised on the tin to anyone the school cares to nominate.

[PuppyMonkey]

Is the boy a child genius maybe?

[Twiglett]

here you go these are some of the subjects they will be covering complete with some little games

[SqueakyPop]

I could do three hours of work from a CGP book, but it would be all wrong for the child.

I'm not opposed to doing what I offered, ie exam revision.

I think the best is to send a cheque for the donation - which is what I have waiting for DD to take into school.

I think what gets me is that I make an offer as a parent and it is basically abused. It is not limited to academic stuff as lots of parents have many things that they will do with children. I hate to get legalistic with these types of auctions that are meant to be fun.

[combustiblelemon]

The woman paid £15 for a 'prize' of 3 hours of science revision for children much older than her son. The OP has said she'll refund the woman and give £85 to the school.
I can't see why people are getting so worked up about it.

[PeasForTeaAgain]

Sorry my DD is 4. What age is the child that has been 'awarded' the unsuitable revision? I think 2 options. (1) Refund and make sure your skin is very thick; you will need it as Twiglett says! Or (2) Give the kid the 3 hours - you don't need to revise the primary curriculum, just to an hour of revision or reading through a "Science for X year olds book" with the kid? It comes down to 2 things: Do the deed or back out. Either way, you are not going to be happy. [Sadly it really is irrelevant as to why the woman bought it. I feel for you - you tried to do something for charity and got stung. Next time buy £20 of raffle tickets!]

[lulumama]

it is 3 hours of revision.. she clearly wants it. maby she thinks you are a wonderufl and fantastic teacher and she is delighted you will be helping her son? can;t you be flattered rather than cross about it?

[Mandelbrot]

But who gets the £15 - the school, surely? I don't understand the relevance to you of how much she paid.
This woman has bid on an inappropriate prize (the dunderhead.) I think you could offer 3 hour long sessions of age appropriate science revision/work instead. I take your point about experiments - you were willing to offer 3 hours of your time, not 6.
Do Twig's link.

[Twiglett]

OK I'm moving slightly in your favour

IF you specified ks3 SATS on the offer, did you?

And you have since offered to defer two years until he can do KS2 SATS revision? ... although the bit about it being dependent on your DDs being at school is not right.