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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not to carry out my sick mother's request that she made from her hospital bed

34 replies

exasperatedmummy · 16/10/2008 20:59

My mother was rushed to hospital today with a condition that rears its head from time to time. She has to stay in, probably for a few days - i might have to tie her to the bed though. That leaves me in charge of her dogs and cats.

My day today has been quite hectic. Get up, take DD to pre-school. Come home, post on here about dodgy curtains and greasy hair, go round to my mums to take her dog out along with mine. She has not been well - find her in a bad way - ring ambulance. Wait for paramedics, organise someone to pick DD up from school (daddy). Go over to the hopsital, no purse, one pound and a mobile with low battery. Do the obligatory wait for doctors, explain my mums condition to doctors (its rare), sit around and wait for x-ray etc before she is moved from A&E to medical assesment ward. Come home, walk her dog, feed her cats, generally tidy up and search high and low in her house for nightgowns, false teeth and cigarrettes. Forgot the cigarrettes.Put chicken on for dinner, on a low heat, tidy up because DP been home with DD so house is a pit. Get DP to drive me to the hospital again, with grumpy DD in back of car. Find mother in new ward, a ten mile hike across the hospital from where she was, trapse over to the ward, she is in a foul mood, wnats to come home, no surprises there - have forgotten her cigarrettes. So, have to then get DP to drive me to shop to buy more - take them back, then have to go and buy her a cup of tea from hospital canteen. Finally can get away, but she calls me back - now, here's the thing.

"When you take my dog out again tonight (im taking him out again then am i??) can you go round to XXX road (a twenty minute walk from her house!) and feed that little black cat i told you about, only i don;t think its owner is feeding it properly and its starving"

Was i unreasonable then to go round to her house, put the dog in the garden as i have already taken the thing out twice today - feed HER cats again, clear up the mess that the dog has made - spend 30 minutes looking for a battery that has come out the back of her phone to make sure the dog hasn't eaten it. Let the cats out, put the dog in and come home, having not fed the cat around the block that isn;t even a fecking stray!!! (ive seen it, its hardly skin and bone) - grrrrrrrrr

And the ironic and not even funny part of this is, i will get no thanks, she will come home and everything will be wrong, i wont have cleaned her house properly, fed the cats properly, the dog will be on its last legs from boredom and she will bloody well moan

OP posts:
ummadam · 17/10/2008 11:31

please don't feed someone else's cat - our (very well fed but greedy and cheeky) cats used to do this and one of them was violently allergic to milk (yes typical I know!) we ended up having to keep the whole lot in until we found a new home for that one with some friends further away as one neighbour refused to see the logic in not feeding her (despite many conversations!). She was a lovely cat - a bit thick though.

exasperatedmummy · 17/10/2008 17:43

She is home, my mother, not the cat. Have had steam coming out of my ears most of today but calming down now.

Right, so, i drop DD off at play school - go to her house, take my dog let them tire each other out in the garden. Totally clean her downstairs (believe me that was some feat- it stank of cat food, i had to take my oil burner with me ). Hoovered three times to try and get rid of the smell. Did two loads of washing. Washing up etc. At eleven picked up message that she could come home, realised the time, ran to pick DD up - phoned DP, could he come home so we can pick mother up. Get to playschool, DD doesn't want to come home , its only her first week . DD promptly peddles off on her bike, smack bang into a waiting buggy and face into a fence - broke bike, had to carry bike and cajole wailing child the 20 minute walk home. She sees DP who is walking up to meet us, charges off, it becomes apparent she wont be stopping at the road, so i have to drop coats, bags and bikes and belt off after her, only to have her have major tantrum and throw herself down on the road - Daddy blamed me . Ok, so go round to my mothers, collect some clothes, i dont kow what to get - pick up loads of dog shit from her garden, break her washing line so have to carkt all the washing to my house.

Getting in car to fetch her, DD STILL grisling. Gets a phone call, its my mother - "What are you fucking doing, ive been waiting here all morning like an idiot" me" i told the nurse i will be over when i pick DD up". "well you should have arranged for someone else to pick her up " Then she bollocks me for not taking the right clothes and insists on leaving hospital in her nightie. She calms down on journey home - tells us that the woman in the next bed died , i was talking to her last night and she was supposed to be going home today.

So, gets home to her nice clean house, she starts poking around, "this shouldnt be here, that shouldn't be there" FFS!!! Then, we have resort to muck donalds for lunch, DD doesnt eat it. Get home, walk to the town, she rings can i get xyz, yes, rings again, can i get abc - ok. So, i come back, she has emptied her hoover took all the filter to bits , i have made it smell , no her fucking filthy cats have made it smell. I don't rise to it. Then, she tells me she has no cough mixture, go to chemist, get back, this is at 4.30 and i STILL haven't had a cup of tea yet today - "oh, the dogs going mad to go out........... Off i go with the dog, thankfully she watches DD for me.

After all this, do you think she has said thankyou??? NOT ON YOUR NELLY - she did say, "oh, i do appreciate it, but i really would have preffered if you had left it, i like to clean myself" The fucking house was a health hazard!!!.

As i left she pushed £20 into my hand - i would have preferred a simple thank you!!!

Fecking woman - she sounds awful doesnt she, she isn't really, she is actually really good to us and helps out financially, but i really had to get that rant off my chest

arrrrrghhhhhhhhhh - it will be wine o'clock soon.

OP posts:
ummadam · 17/10/2008 17:57

....and breath!

sometimes all you can do is rant - hope your evening is better

debzmb62 · 17/10/2008 17:57

ah bless ya i have a mum like that i love her to bits mind and i,d do anythig for her ! just polishing her broomstick for the end of the month {smile]

exasperatedmummy · 17/10/2008 18:11

At least she didn't mention the cat - yet

OP posts:
QueenofAllWildThings · 17/10/2008 21:58

FFS, the dog will get walked when its owner is out of hospital - forget the blimmin' cat, it will catch its own food if it's that hungry!

exasperatedmummy · 19/10/2008 12:23

In all the rushing around, i actually forgot to feed HER animals . They are very pleased to see her!

OP posts:
salsmum · 19/10/2008 13:50

exasperatedmummy.... My darling been there done that got the whole fcukin wardrobe
you deserve a medal hun ((((big hugs)))))))

needmorecoffee · 19/10/2008 13:56

are we sisters? When I do all this for my mum she says 'god provides' like he came and walked her 5 stinking dogs.
Have yourself a glass of wine cup of tea.

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