To want to tell the Jehovah's Witness that call to my home to PISS OFF

[DaphneMoon]

I have just had them again. This is the 5th time in just over two weeks. Why you might ask. Well the first time I made the mistake of answering the door. She was a pleasant lady and started talking about how nice it is to sit and talk to our Dad's. I told her that I was not fortunate enough to have my father around anymore and to be honest she could not have called at a worse time as it would have been his birthday the next day. I did not let her in and only spoke to her for about 2 minutes out of sheer politeness as this is how I have been brought up. She said she would call again I said no thanks I have my own faith. She has been 4 times since then, each time with a different companion. I am sick to death of this I have not been answering the door when I see her walking down the street.

Surely this is harrasment. What I really want to shout at her in a very loud voice is:

PISS OF YOU WEIRD RELIGOUS CULT MEMBER, MY VICAR DOESN'T CALL CONSTANTLY AT YOUR FECKING HOUSE TO PREACH THE CHURCH OF ENGLAND, WHY DO YOU THINK AFTER 43 YEARS I AM GOING TO CHANGE MY RELIGION BECAUSE OF YOU. AND I GIVE BLOOD SO THERE! AND SLAM DOOR.

But of course I won't say it I will just nod and smile and say no thanks and close the door quietly.

Thanks rant over!

[Chocolateteapot]

I very politely asked the last one who called here to mark me down as not to be called on. She looked a bit flustered and said that they only do that if someone is violent. It took all the self control I had not to say that if she stayed another minute I might well be.

[asicsgirl]

is it not true that they have to go out and knock on doors? i remember reading that even michael jackson couldn't get out of it

maybe you could say 'oh i'm so glad you called. we're having a meeting at [insert name of your church] and i'm sure you'd find it interesting. would you like a copy of the parish newsletter? and there's a fete next week... and you could come to bible study, shall i take your number?'

[asicsgirl]

oh x post with expat! must think faster

[expatinscotland]

SmallClanger, we live in the sticks and got some a couple of months ago!

There was DH mumbling away at them and I came through and said we were happy with our Roman Catholic faith and they left.

I've been them around since then once more - they arrive in the village in a big group - but they've never knocked on our door again.

[mehgalegs]

@ OJ. I 've made a note of that one.

[mehgalegs]

expat - we are in sticks too, just us and neighbours. a big car full of them pulled up in our layby and they all knocked at once.

[DaphneMoon]

They always dress smartly though! I think they think they can fool us into thinking they are insurance salesmen or something. I seem to get them wherever I live though. But this is by far the worst. I live in a fairly large village. I think she feels sorry for me not having a Dad anymore, but a stranger is the last person I would want to talk to about it. My Dad used to argue loads with them it was like a debating session for him. He used to stand there for ages arguing, it was quite funny for me as a child.

[expatinscotland]

if i were going to convert it wouldn't be to that, megha!

i like parties, Christmas and booze.

[DaphneMoon]

Mehgalegs that would have scared me!

[TheInvisibleManDidIt]

Yes they do have to go round the doors.

Tell them you're in the middle of a sceance and they can come in and wait until you finish if they like, and oh, by the way, is there anyone they'd like you to contact for them?

They'll run a mile!!

Alot of them are very nice genuine people who want to 'help' others, but I had first hand experience of the religion growing up and strongly disagree with alot of aspects of their belief.

[DaphneMoon]

Oh yes she was a very nice lady, but I cannot understand why she keeps calling especially after the last two occasions I have not answered the door. The time before this one, I was in the back garden feeding our rabbits and my DS came out and said there are two people at the door, for a split second I did not realise as my DS started to go back in and then I shouted "don't answer the door" they must have heard me. I went in and peered through the hall to see her walking away again. I would have given up by now. The kitchen window was open and my tv was blaring away and my car was on the drive she knew I was in.

[MamaHobgoblin]

Sod being 'polite but firm' - clearly the time has come to be RUDE but firm!

I think you've been heroically civil to them. Yes is IS harrassment. Tell 'em to piss off, I would.

(Sorry, I'm in a really shitty mood today. I pity any JWs who turn up at my door!)

[TheSmallClanger]

Just when I thought the JV coast was clear, it seems as if they're taking over the British countryside. Damn.
I'll just have to stick the plastic Virgin Mary I got from the Vatican in the window as protection.

[DaphneMoon]

Mama can you come round and deal with them for him Actually you are quite right but they will have to catch me in the right mood next time.

[DaphneMoon]

that should have been deal with them for ME

[expatinscotland]

my parents' next door neighbours are JWs who tried for years to 'save' them, despite their both being lifelong practicing Catholics.

they now peacefully co-exist, although they don't know the truth: that when their younger son wanted to put Xmas lights up in their hedges, it was my dad who supplied them and helped the kid put them up.

[expatinscotland]

imagine no Xmas piss ups, glasses of wine over dinner, or birthday celebrations?

[MwaHaHaMhamai]

I don't remember the sitcom but basically the Jehovah's witness backed their way out of the house sharpish because the house occupant went on and on and on and on and you get the picture?

[MwaHaHaMhamai]

Shudders at expats last post!

[DaphneMoon]

Don't they celebrate birthdays either? I didn't know that! If only they had called the first time, about a week before, as I had big banners all over the house for DP's 40th, she would have had to duck her head to get to the front door. Damn that's a bloody shame.

[lilymolly]

uh oh

i once did this and was very nice and polite to them and even accepted a leaflet

well they kept coming and coming until one day when I was V heavily pregnant I told them I was not interested any more thanks (in a firm but polite manner)

they all looked me up and down and told me they felt sorry for me [anger]

I think then I lost it and told them to piss off and get off my land

the effect was made even more grand by the fact that I live in the country with some land and I felt like the lady of the manor..
I have and never will use "get of my land again".............

[mrsleroyjethrogibbs]

I used to tell them I am muslim but actually its probably not that wise in this day and age. I am not muslim btw but I kind of look the part. I know its naughty but there.
I also just smile and interrupt them and say
'I am going to stop you there. Its very nice to see you but I am not intrested'

Believe it or not it actually works

[expatinscotland]

nope, no birthday celebrations.

no 'holiday parties'.

no way!

[DaphneMoon]

I take it you said it in the appropriate accent Lily, as in "get orff moi laand" said in farmer type cornish accent. I would love to say that but I only have a small garden and would look a bit of an idiot. Get off my drive doesn't have quite the same effect

[Brangelina]

The Catholic one never worked for us, they were always around our place. I expect it was because my mum was a single mum at the time and therefore one of the "fallen".

Here in Italy (where practically everybody is a catholic) we still get them, albeit with less frequency. We also get these Americans from the Jesus Brethren or something who knock on doors dressed like undertakers and most don't actually speak Italian. WTF is that about?

Anyway, what I found to be effective was telling them I'm not into religion of any sort as ex-bf was a loony Moonie. That seems to get them backing off pretty quickly.