to find the Boden winter catalogue PATRONISING TO SCOTTISH PEOPLE

[MorrisZapp]

AAAAARGGHHHHH!!!

Just when you think that Boden can't get any more smug, patronising and self satisified they outdo themselves with an astonishing new low.

Oh look Arabella, here are this season's woolly jumpers, they're so warm you can even wear them in... Scotland!! In fact, the quality is so good you can even allow your children outdoors in this barren yet beautiful land which God created for SMUG SOUTHERN CNUTS to twat around in at their leisure, because the locals are of interest as 'craggy scenery only'!!!!!

I fucking hate these people. I bet they don't even refer to place names in Scotland, they just airily refer to 'Scotland' as it it was a fucking village.

We are not a theatre set for your overpriced bland 'faux Highland' knitwear, we are a diverse nation with inhabitants who actually wear NICE CLOTHES THEMSELVES as opposed to just standing gurning 'Scottishly' next to your sickeningly smug models.

Take your fucking 'antler twigs' and FUCK OFF!!!!!!

Mind you, quite fancying the cardi on page 165.... one for the xmas list ;)

Question for scottish boden models:

what's yer favourite fish supper?

White pudding supper?

johnnie bag is a red heid

What makes Scots happy Ronaldhinio?

A fag, a shag and a chippy.

the grove chippie in finnieston does a stoating white puddin supper a la curry sauce.yum.yellow fingers

Johnny's got that hearty look from too much rich Tory food.

his brood look positively horse and hound set

I LOVE a white pudding supper.

but I'm a southern cunt

half Scottish tho'.

ScottishMummy
Forgot Betty fae the laundry-ette
and Jackie who manages the bogs at the Bus Station.

I suspect they have make-up artists specially trained in "ruddy glow".

whit about big isa fae the toon who works in the cludgies in st enoch?scary

"Aw Isa - whit's that ye've got oan? Is it Boden?"

Big Isa - "Boden,I'll gie ye bliddy Boden ye cheeky wee shite"

Aurelie: Q: What's your favourite wintery film?

MorrisZapp: Wintery film? WINTERY FILM? WTF is a WINTERY FILM you fucking muppets?

Note to shit question asker: there are films, and there are Christmas films.

There are no WINTERY FILMS.

Help ma boab - where's Smeato when you really need him?

Have swallowed my valium now ladies, a deep sleep awaits. See you soon xx

lmfao at op

I'm loving this too.

never get fed up of a Boden piss take.

i dont even like the clothes... maybe the occasional thing for kids... but is all a bit predictable, an so obviously boden. its a bit like wearing a label isnt it? a label that says 'unimaginative person who wishes they were cooler and more 'fun', and has too much spare cash about'
which is me really, but i do like to pretend otherwise...

On their catalogues you can have the option to be addressed in all sorts of poncy ways. So my first catalogue came addressed to
"Lady MadameOvary"
When I moved i did not give them my new address.

I wish i'd known that Madam O.

So would have loved being Mrs Vulgar in RL.

oh i always choose 'lady' if its an option on websites. its the simple things in life that amuse me ...

When I was a student, ten years ago I cooked for a woman who bought Boden. Her family were landed gentry, hubby worked in the media, she was a painter and they lived with their four kids in a gorgeous farmhouse with the Aga, the LandRover outside, the organic garden.
And a complete lack of awareness about Real Life.
This is the lifestyle that Boden is selling. Aspirational shite. Same with Toast. Everyone wants it, everyone thinks that if they put on a spotty coat they'll look like they married Sebastian Farquar-Arharr with his 200 acres and Daddy's money.
Well newsflash. The clothes are not that well made (not any more). You wont look anything like that.
The clothes would never sell themselves would they? Just put them on Senga and you'll what I mean.
Rant over. Must be the Full Moon

Excellent piece of writing there Morris.
YANBU

Send it to Boden!

It bugs me too.

oh yay - do send it to boden. they need to read it...

Ah...another whinging Scot.

{and I am Welsh}

OMG, is that what he looks like? What a twat! And yes, very Horse and Hound, the lot of them (poor kids).

Actually, he's the spittin' (gratuitous 'g' drop) image of someone I knew from university who made other Tory boys look a whiter shade of blue. Had a peculiar fixation with homophobic jokes. Still, can't hold that against Johnnie, I suppose...

If it makes the OP feel any better (or not, as the case may be) a few years back the Boden catalogue was all shot in Lisbon and the backdrops included many picturesque doddery old Portuguese dudes, watching Natalie and Amelie and the rest of them with rheumy old eyes - very much part of the landscape. I'm half Portuguese and thought it was a bit patronising, too!

FWIW, I do still sort of like some of their clothes (in the catalogues - I hardly ever buy them, and if I do, I'm annoyed at the quality/fit and send them back. I should learn, really). I am pretty far away from being a Boden-clad yummy though!