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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know I am but BLOODY SCHOOL PLAYS!

85 replies

smartiejacktheripper · 13/10/2008 19:24

Ok ok I know what you are all going to say especially the teachers amongst you.

My DD (aged 10 and not a PFB)) auditioned for a part in her school play (Dick Whittington). She practised the audition piece for ages and learned it off by heart. I know she's my DD but she was really good (I do actually know what I am talking about as I have been involved in the production of many school plays over the last 20 years.)

All her teachers told her she was really good. Some of the mum helpers have told me she was fantastic. The other children who auditioned did not learn the part but read it off the script.

Her teacher told me at a parent teacher meeting today(and I quote) "she was so good... one of the best."

DD found out today that she has been given the part of... her teacher. ( don't remember a teacher in the story of Dick Whittington.)

Here's the best bit

Why was she given that part? Because her glasses are very similar to her teacher's and she has been teased for being a "Mini Mrs Teacher" ever since she got them.(Actually they're really nice with black rims and wide red sides.) She feels she has been given over for a different part purely on the basis of appearance.

And of course all the best parts have gone to the usual teachers' pets.

Sorry have now slapped myself round the face hard and shouted "LISTEN TO YOURSELF WOMAN!"

I am a teacher. I know exactly what I would think if a parent came and ranted at me for something like this. I'm sure I would be the laughing stock of the staffroom.

I wouldn't dream of going in and complaining but just SOOOO

Thanks for listening!

OP posts:
StewieGriffinsMom · 14/10/2008 10:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

DocBunches · 14/10/2008 10:32

To the OP, YANBU at all - your DD has my complete sympathy.

I'm so glad my DCs are no longer at Primary school so I don't have to endure any more school productions watching the same children in the main parts every year.

At my DCs old Primary, I actually believe that the teachers were afraid to NOT give these particular children the best parts (damage limitation in terms of which parents would complain the most/least). I remember that in the Y6 production, one girl cried for days because she was only given the second best speaking part, not the starring role . My DD and several other children would have given their right arm for ANY decent part!!

DaphneMoon · 14/10/2008 10:38

Oh god don't get me on this subject. For the past three years the same two children have been picked in my DS's class to play the lead parts. To begin with it was acceptable. However, last year I was literally open mouthed when I found out. I am really hoping that this year their new (really lovely) teacher will look into it and find out who it was last year and give some other child the chance. I would not even be bothered if it was not my DS as I truthfully don't think he is capable of learning all the lines and he is a bit shy. But I would really love to see another child in the lead. It is beginning to get a bit of a sore point with other mothers too.

My DS played a goat in Jack and the Beanstalk last year and said one word!

edam · 14/10/2008 10:50

Smartie, I'd be pissed off too, if I were in your shoes. VERY unfair to define your daughter in this way. Such a lazy approach 'oh, X wears glasses, we'll give her a role where the person wears glasses'. As a speccy four eyes myself, I'd be really cross about it!

rolledhedgehog · 14/10/2008 10:56

Why is the Angel Gabriel always a girl. Is it like principal boy in panto or the reverse of the dame?

LaMonsterWeaselwolf · 14/10/2008 10:59

I feel really bad for your DD, and I don't think you're being unreasonable to be annoyed (although obv, you're stuck with hiding it since their is nothing to be done) Regardless of anything else she should not be given a particular role just because she wears glasses - ESPECIALLY if she has been teased about them in the past. It's hardly going to stop the other kids expanding their teasing into something worse if the teachers are in on it too.

ah, school plays. My creative talented was squashed (by my own hand) at an early age - I was the kid that was technically quite good (especially at funny/evil roles) but was always falling off the stage and once forgot to go on stage for half the play entirely! Has the worst time in year 6 when they chose me and another boy as narrators for the nativity but we had to write our own 'comic' script. We weren't funny. There was an obvious lack of audience laughter. It was embarrassing. A rock would've been quite nice really!!

edam · 14/10/2008 11:02

I was quite embarrassed when ds was cast as Joseph this year as it was clear that some other parents were jealous. As a brown-haired, brown-eyed girl who was never in the running for Mary (all I remember doing is playing the blasted glockenspeil) I sympathise with children who are left out, but equally was a shame I had to play down how excited I was for ds in order not to put anyone's nose out of joint. (He was fab, btw, but the boy playing the donkey was a real star!)

asicsgirl · 14/10/2008 11:05

edam, i had a great image of you dressed up as a glockenspiel then... duh

mice · 14/10/2008 11:29

I think sometimes people think the same children get all of the opportunities - but that these thoughts aren't always based on fact.
My son was given the main part in the school play this year. He was in year 5. I know that a number of people would have felt a little like some of you do - that the same children get picked for everything, year 6's should be given the chance as it is their last year, his parents have always been involved with the school PTA, governors etc, he has always been one of the brightest in the class etc etc.
Knowing this is how people felt about my son being given an opportunity hurt me as much as I guess it hurts others who feel their chidren are being overlooked.
Yes my son is very bright, yes he is sporty, yes his older brother was the same, yes his parents have always liked to be involved - but - this was the first time my son had ever had the confidence to perform, sing etc and I was so proud of him that he was going out of his comfort zone and trying something new.
Because he is a bright, popular child other people assume that he is a teachers pet, always picked etc and this is actually far from the truth and just a perception in other peoples minds.
Teachers I believe work hard to include all children no matter what their ability / behaviour and try to use these opportunities for children to build confidence and broaden their horizons. Just because a child gives the best most rehearsed audition does not mean they will be best in he part - but spotting a child that shows potential (even in a dodgy audition!) is the way I would like my childs school to work.

DaphneMoon · 14/10/2008 11:36

But does it really matter if they are the best. Why give the part to the best one. It is only because the teachers don't want the embarrassment of a play that went a bit wrong. IMO they are the best ones, shows they are only human.

edam · 14/10/2008 11:42

asics! I can still play The First Noel... ABC DEFG ABC BAG ABC BAG ABC DFE IIRC!

TheSmallClanger · 14/10/2008 11:42

At DD's school, it is often the children of governors/PTA members/forceful whingers that get the good parts in plays and concerts. It was the same at my own primary school.

DD gets stuck doing some sort of dance/mime thing every year because they know she's a gymnast. She isn't too keen on public speaking, so she's not too bothered, but it annoys ME that she isn't encouraged to try for other parts.

It is annoying, but try not to let it get to the child in question. School plays are really not important in the great scheme of things.

TeenyTinyTorya · 14/10/2008 13:06

Exactly Mice. There are a lot of stage school kids in my dh's schools, who are used to being the best (or so they think). However, the attitude they have makes it hard to work with them, so it tends to be quieter children who get the parts, and have a chance to develop their confidence and potential.

Rapunzel100 · 14/10/2008 13:13

Oh brings back memories!!

I was a cow one year...yes a cow!!
The following year i was an angel though.

My kiddies always had the cameo or chorus parts never the main characters. It seemed the same children get chosen for characters of substance and as a parent is does pee me off.

Sounds like all the School's are the same...but I have never forgotten being a cow some 30 years ago!

Kathyis6incheshigh · 14/10/2008 13:14

My brother was Second Donkey and he was the best second donkey ever.
He went down to the fields and stood watching the donkeys for ages to see how they behaved, and discovered that they were always twitching because of flies, and made that the basis of his performance.
All the audience were talking about it [proud big sister emoticon]

TheProvincialLady · 14/10/2008 13:16

You see I just can't imagine the audition taking place...your DD being the best...but the teachers deciding that no, she wears glasses so she should be the teacher It honestly does not seem likely to me.

As for the favourites being picked every time - generally speaking they are the ones who are motivated to learn their lines, have some acting ability and are not going to sob and refuse to go on stage or freeze and not say a word. I know it must be hard when your child never seems to be picked for Mary or Joseph but it is exruciating to sit through most school plays at the best of times, let alone when you can barely hear the children and they make Sienna Miller look like a talented and varied actress.

JammyOLantern · 14/10/2008 13:17

At the Sunday School nativity I was most often just a child (they had "spare" children cast as a group of children passing by who came to gawp gaze adoringly at the baby Jesus). I remember my Mum getting narked at one girl who was complaining that she wasn't Mary - she had been the previous 2 years and the year in question she was Gabriel, so like my mum I don't think she was particularly hard done by! I did get to be God in the school nativity though!

Bunch · 14/10/2008 13:17

I was always the narrator because I was a good reader. I always longed to play a different part. Now poor DD seems to always be the narrator for the same reasons. I just tell her I know exactly how she feels!

earthpixie · 14/10/2008 13:35

I WAS Mary but got bumped to Gabriel because I was taller than Joseph.

Scarred for life..

Eddas · 14/10/2008 13:41

i was Mary once. My mum told me that it was only because I had been in hospital having my tonsils out and it was a non speaking part so since i'd missed the practices I got to be Mary!

I also remember being an Angel

We did Snow white once and my sister was snow White (long bondeish hair) people weren't happy as we had just moved to the area. In that play I got to be a rabbit!!!!!

solidgoldskullonastick · 14/10/2008 21:01

Inclusivity is all very well but it's worth bearing in mind that not every kid wants a main part. Quite a few kids hate the very idea of going on stage, learning lines etc, so I have a lot more sympathy with the teachers who pick the kids who like to perform, will speak up and remember what to say, allowing the rest to be a chorus of frogs, trees or pixies or whatever and allowing the truly stage-resistant to help paint scenery or play the triangle in the orchestra or something. Everyone can't be good at everything, so why pretend that they are 'all equally wonderful at acting' when the kids are big enough to know that this is bullshit and to resent it?

Ronaldinhio · 14/10/2008 21:06

i am and always have been very tall

i was guess which part in jack and the beanstalk

you've got it

the beanstalk

feels hot still from the shame

theSuburbanDryad · 14/10/2008 22:04

Smartie - does dd actually want to be in the play? Can she not just tell the teacher to shove her play up her arse she doesn't want the part?

I really feel for your dd - it's so unfair that she's been given this part on the basis that she wears glasses. I think TheProvincialLady must have not been a glasses wearer as a child, and must also not know anyone who wears specs! Because unfortunately I can find it all too believable that the teacher doing the casting decided to be a lazy cunt to cast dd as "Teacher" because her specs bear a passing resemblance to her teachers'!!

StewieGriffinsMom · 14/10/2008 22:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

kennythekangaroo · 14/10/2008 22:24

I will be holding auditions for our school play after half term. Anybody can audition. Obviously though the bigger parts go to the children who perform best at the auditio.

I've got no idea what they played in other plays (last year all year 3 did dances of some sort) and you don't really know many of their names when they're in the infants, I certainly can't think back 2 years and nobody keeps a list.

It's very true that the same children often get picked which is why I make sure all those who audition will get a speaking part of some sort.

We've got 120 children to fit into our year 3/4 play. Everybody will be on the stage at some point ( it's like Picadilly Circus up there), but it might just be a dance or a crowd scene.

It's a shame about your daughter as she was obviously very keen and capable but it is an impossible job casting a school play.

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