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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to let DD try make-up testers in Debenhams?

23 replies

lilolilmanchester · 12/10/2008 22:54

DD is 11. She's interested in make-up and wears a little eye-shadow for school discos/parties etc. My view is that if you let them play with it now (when they aren't going anywhere unsupervised) they will be more educated about makeup and get it out of their system. Therefore less likely to go out looking a little less like painted dolls when they are young teenagers out and about on their own.
So, when we are out shopping together, we often stop by the cosmetic counters and she tries on the testers. A little bit of eyeshadow, perhaps a bit of blusher. I always ask the assistants' permission, they always say of course (as Mum might just buy something from them and DD will after all grow up to be a consumer). However, today, one of the assistants told me categorically that she could not put makeup on a child. I said I wasn't asking her to do a makeover (never do), DD just wants to have a splash of eyeshadow from the tester. Assistant very loudly asked why on earth I would even dream of letting a little girl put on eyeshadow, I was being ridiculous. Now, I am usually very over-cautious in my parenting but have no issue whatsoever with a little bit of makeup. AIBU, or is the lady in Debenhams???

OP posts:
TheArmadillo · 12/10/2008 22:56

she ws ridiculously over the top.

You weren't exactly breaking the law.

YANBU.

I'd complain.

MrsSnape · 12/10/2008 23:00

I'd complain too! how rude.

lilolilmanchester · 12/10/2008 23:01

was thinking about complaining, hence the post. Wanted to hear what others thought. At the end of the day, I am a customer and DD is a potential customer. But this women was genuinely shocked that I'd even think about it. DD not used to makeup counter ladies being anything other than friendly. Don't think her first pay-cheque will be going the way of that particular counter!!!

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childrenofthecornsilk · 12/10/2008 23:01

Was this debenhams in the trafford centre? How stupid.

HRHSaintMamazon · 12/10/2008 23:02

complain. even if that was her personal opinion she had no rigth to voice it so publicly.

it is her job to serve not give parenting advice.

lilolilmanchester · 12/10/2008 23:03

yes cornsilk, it was

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misshardbroom · 12/10/2008 23:03

No, I think you have a healthy attitude towards your daughter's interest in make-up and besides, it's not up to the assistant to question your parenting decisions.

lilolilmanchester · 12/10/2008 23:03

I was just wondering, if the one time I am not being over-cautious, that I'd got it wrong! Think I will drop the manager a line

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childrenofthecornsilk · 12/10/2008 23:04

Didn't she recognise you lilo
Seriously though there are loads of shops that sell make up aimed at that age group. Silly woman.

lilolilmanchester · 12/10/2008 23:06

thanks hardbroom,except I should have written "Therefore less likely to go out looking like painted dolls...", that's posting after wine for you!

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BlingLovin · 12/10/2008 23:06

I wish you'd been my mother! She's terrible at make up and didn't like us wearing it. My sister went through the 80s with make up that was bad even by those terrible standards and I was about 24 before I mastered the basics.
I think your attitude is great and the woman was totally out of order - you're her parent and short of actually endangering or abusing her, she didn't have a right to step in.

lilolilmanchester · 12/10/2008 23:07

maybe that was the problem cornsilk .

Even if she is right, and 11 year olds shouldn't be wearing makeup, not exactly the best way to keep customers happy is it?

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childrenofthecornsilk · 12/10/2008 23:08

Just thinking about the trafford centre alone, there's Claire's Accessories and Boots who do make up specifically for that age group. I haven't even got girls and even I know that.
Numpty.

misshardbroom · 12/10/2008 23:08

besides, she's a make-up assistant in debenhams, ffs, are we seriously expected to believe that she never experimented with a bit of turquoise eye shadow and cerise lippy herself when she was pre-teen?

lilolilmanchester · 12/10/2008 23:12

Misshardbroom, had to stop myself saying that if she had experimented at DD's age, she might be better able to apply her own makeup now!!!

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childrenofthecornsilk · 12/10/2008 23:13

If only I could persuade ds1 to go in and have a go for a laugh. What would she say to that?

Tinkywinks · 12/10/2008 23:15

When I was about 15 I was refused a make over by a really snooty assistant on the Clinique counter. She embarassed me by talking down to me, and you know how things are amplified when you are that age. Since that day, I have never bought anything from Clinique and I am in my 30's! Oh well, their loss, as I regularly buy cosmetics from Estee Lauder and Clarins.

YANBU! How dare she make such a personal comment about your parenting! Silly cow.

lilolilmanchester · 12/10/2008 23:15

lol cornsilk, would happily come with you for that one!

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childrenofthecornsilk · 12/10/2008 23:16

Bet she wouldn't dare say a word!

lilolilmanchester · 12/10/2008 23:20

off to bed now. Will write to manager i think, I think this women needs a wake-up call and I don't like being shown up in public. (Or private for that matter!)

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lilolilmanchester · 12/10/2008 23:22

and as TinkyWinks says, she's throwing money away. at blinglovin's terrible 80s makeup comments. That'd be me then. Had better book myself a makeup lesson, just not at Debenhams!!!!!

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TinkerBellesMum · 12/10/2008 23:35

I would complain, tell the manager that you don't need unsolicited parenting advice from a make-up counter girl and you certainly don't appreciate her trying to embarrass you. If you wish to let your daughter try on a bit of eyeshadow that's really your business and they'll never know now if you would have bought it. You might just find some vouchers coming your way!

I wish I had had someone to teach me about make up when I was younger. I'm the eldest child and Mum was never into it. I taught myself by buying cheap make up and having a go in the toilets at school, fortunately I'm arty so was able to apply some of that knowledge and not end up looking like a clown. When my sister came to an age when she was becoming interested in make up I took her shopping for her birthday, bought everything she needed and showed her how to do it. I now wear make up when I feel like it, always try to wear eyeliner as I'm very fair with dark hair and green eyes so my eyes disappear without it, and my sister is rather painted. No what I taught her, honest!

sunnydelight · 13/10/2008 01:52

She's there to sell make up, not dispense parenting advice. Complain.

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