To worry that my neighbours don't use their car seat?

[frazzledgirl]

They have a 4-month-old baby. Lovely people, have had trouble with setting the pram up and so on so I've been popping in and helping them every now and again.

One of the things I did was fit their car seat, as they couldn't make it fit. It took a while (bad fit) but I managed it. The dad grumbled that it was v hard and complicated.

And several times since I've seen them driving out, with the mum in the back holding the baby.

What to do? Don't want to be a busybody and report them unnecessarily, in all other respects they are concerned and loving parents and the baby is very content.

OTOH how would I feel if there was an accident?

They are not stupid people, BTW, so pretty sure they know the law and surely they must know the risks?

Hmm.....its a tough one but YANBU to be concerned for this little mite. If you feel the hubby is a bit unapproachable (reading between the lines of your post), then why not try chatting with the mum and asking if there was a prob with the seat after you fitted it? Just a way of introducing the topic without being accusatory.

I had thought of doing that, but she speaks hardly any English so communication is v difficult.

He is not unapproachable exactly, I just think he might not be too keen on me effectively questioning his parenting.

Do you have a no longer needed car seat you could give them to see if it's a better fit?

Not much you can do I dont think.

You would be surprised at the number of people who do this. I cancelled an outing with my (very posh and intelligent) aunt because she rang at the last minute to tell me there would not be enough room in the car for dd's car seat and, (I quote) said "I thought I better tell you now that if you do come she will have to sit on your lap for the 90 min (motorway) journey and I know that you're really funny about things like that, alhough your cousin (princess tippy toes) doesn't have a problem with it. She almost made me feel guilty for being awkward!

Hmmm, could you quote the law to her and let her know that its illegal - maybe take it from the point of view that you wouldn't want her to get into trouble rather than questioning their very dubious decision?

Since you say she doesn't speak a great deal of English, maybe she doesn't know the rules. I think I'd have to get in there, when her DH is out and mention it.

I'd ring her HV if you know what surgery she is at. But then actually, no matter how nice she is, I think I'd ring the Police and pass on her reg number and address.

In your shoes I think I'd try to steer the conversation subtly around to the car seat issue the next time you happen to bump into her.

Use MrsJohnSimm's tack, and throw in some made-up story about friends of yours being fined/whatever for not having their child strapped in when stopped at some lights next to a police car (something I would quite like to happen to some friends of mine who never strap their children in on the school run, despite the kids' Daddy being a paediatric surgeon)

lol, i remember a recent conversation with my mother along the lines of me screaming, 'its the law! mother. do you want me to break the law?'
and moms solution being that the kids could go int he car seat, and i could sit on her lap needless to say, i stayed behind.

er, not a made up story at all. i was fined for not having five year old ds in a car seat, and on an adults lap, before the new laws became laws a coupl of years ago. stopped at red light next to police car, and that was me fined...

Actually I do have an old car seat, so could combine offer with 'I wouldn't want you to get into trouble...'

Have to venture into loft tomorrow, so will fish it out and pluck up the courage. Or maybe mention it 'casually' when next see them...

So you fitted their car seat and they still dont use it?? Is it an infant carrier or a rear/forward facing seat which usually stays put in the car?

Most infant carriers are a doddle, and even if its the type which are designed to stay in the car, once its fitted its not rocket science to put the baby in the harness.

Not sure why its so hard for them..

i really don't understasnd this. seat belts are the law and it isn't a particularly stupid one. report them.

It's an infant carrier, one of those ones that you just put the seatbelt round and then take out easily.

But the belt only just fitted after much tugging and rearranging. I suggested they leave the seat in there and just thread the baby in (that's what I did a lot, but then I'm lazy) but they obviously don't think that's an option.

The seat is still in there.