To be a bit of a grinch this christmas.

[Witchka]

Every year my family meet up for Christmas, usually at Mum's house, but sometimes at one of my brothers' houses. We usually go to the trouble to buy a present for everyone. We do usually try to send each other lists of ideas so we don't give each other pointless tat, but I am increasingly inclined to just say please don't buy me anything, as I won't be buying you anything. I'll buy presents for the children, for DH and something for whoever hosts. Is it unreasonable to try and get out of the expense and hassle of christmas shopping for the other adults? I think it might do us all a favour in the long run. Ditto birthdays.

I tried to ban my brother from getting me a birthday present this year but he ended up sending me £30 and said he thought I was depressed (I am not, I'm just not sentimental).

OOOoh yes Expat.
V retro
(Where is that baby btw??)

he's NEVER coming out, moony .

he's WICKED high up at 37 weeks and still moving about - right now he is breech.

i'll bet he'll go late.

induction is offered at 40+10 or 40+14.

but if he doesn't turn, i'm just going for ELCS because of how fucked up the situation is with having the CLU over the loch a far way away.

i want that stem ginger BIG TIME.

oh I couldn't be doing with homemade biscuits. There's so much food around, I really don't want some soft biscuits.

Before I had children: (I have 3 sisters)
Sister no1 has 3 kids. Sister no 4 has 6 kids. me and sister no 3 had no kids.
Sister with 6 announces one year that they are only buying for the children.
Sister no 1 still got me and no 3 a gift as we bought for her children but we had no children for her to buy for. She thought that was fair.
Sister with 6 kids stuck to her rule, accepted 6 gifts from all of us but only bought for her 3 niece and nephews.
This went on for years. It spread to birthdays too. At first I didn't notice but 6 birthdays and 6 xmasses gets expensive. Her husband has a VERY good job so they weren't on a tight budget. In the end I started to resent it. I don't give to recieve but then I don't expect people to take take take either.
Sister no 3 still has no kids and is not likely to now. I would never dream of expecting her to buy for all those nephews and nieces and us not get her something.
So if you have someone in the family with no children of their own, and they buy for your children, then you need to relax the 'children only' thing and get them at least a token gift.

Years ago we all decided to by for nieces and nephews ( we don't buy for them after once they are 21)and our parents.

last christmas was busy for us and we were skint so we bought family gifts most of which were a cinema voucher £5 per head with a bag of chocs/popcorn/pringles, in a nice box, for the ones with little ones too small for the cinema we made a babysitting voucher and put that in too, then got the littlies a token pressie and a treat when we looked after them. It went down really well with everybody and didn't cost much.

Oooo I love buying presents so I would hate this arrangement. Would not be bothered if I didn't get anything but do like choosing things for my family, adults and kids.

I did this last year. I had hardly any money and didn't really want any bath 'stuff'. My siblings went mad. I am now known as scrooge. I was really happy though as I was able to buy a really nice present for my nephew. I also bought all my siblings nice and thoughtful presents for their birthdays.

On dh's side of the family we do this - just buy for nephews and nieces (though his sisters have less children for us so I feel obliged to spend a bit more on theirs iyswim..) We usually get something for PILs too.

My siblings don't have kids yet so I would feel mean not getting them something.

We only buy for kids ... we "give" my SIL and hubby a voucher which we do on the computer saying that we will have their two DC's for the weekend at a mutually convenient time so that they can go away for a short break, and they do the same. DH and I never get away together alone apart from this one weekend a year so it's really special - and free (ish)!

Flippertyjibbet - that sounds like a nightmare, I'd resent that too. In my case though there are only 2 kids to think about. I wouldn't even mind if my childless brother didn't bother buying for my ds. I am so over presents.

I would love to do that, have a Xmas where you get decent presents and not a load of tat.
My parents in law are mad on Xmas. They buy stuff throughout the year and at Xmas time they all sit in the front room and just open loads of presents and it's just sickening, especially when there is somtimes 8 or more of us in the room and everyone seems to have 10 presents or more.
Also we have to have presents from the Xmas tree (yes seriously).
Also if we decide to have Xmas at home we eventually have the presents and the kids think it goes on forever!

One year i gave everyone an Oxfam unwrapped present. That went down like a lead balloon.
But if i get another pair of adult Pooh Bear socks i'll scream!

We've given up buying presents for adults now, we're making calendars instead with our family through the year. Will possibly look at getting tins of chocolates to go with them this year, we left it late last year but this year we can't because I could be having a December baby. The only adults we buy for are my parents (we're closer to mine than he is his).

I started a thread in Christmas if anyone would like a free calendar made for them (PDF so you can arrange printing yourself or I can have them printed for you but don't know what that will cost).

On Christmas morning last year I opened three sets of essential oils with burners

My poor MIL was the only giver who was actually there, she looked mortified. Can't even remember any other presents I got but can see DH's face struggling to look appreciative as he opened bizarre tat from his family, including a novelty belt buckle emblazoned with the name of a band he dislikes.

We started doing this a few years ago and it's so much easier - for everyone.

We just buy for the children in the family and have a budget of £15 per child. But my sister and hubby don't have any children so always buy for them.

ILs always buy tat even for the children they spend far too much and believe the bigger the pile the better, in fact most of it gets broken or binned on boxing day. They ask for suggestions i give them and they ignore even DH gets annoyed with it.

My brothers and sister and i always club together to get our mum something nice or she needs as single pensioner on her own. This year she has asked for new glasses as she has strong prescription so will do.

Makes sense and less rubbish in the house we do the same for birthdays as well.

I really HATE the idea of just buying for the children because it would just increase the mountain of plastic crap that gets passed around. Between Santa and their parents and godparents and grandparents the DC get more toys at Christmas than they know what to do with.

We are expecting a baby around Christmas, and it suddenly strikes me that even that baby might be getting tat this year

i agree.

i think the best approach is a family drawing names out of a hat for EVERYONE, including kids.

adults like gifts, too, and the grandkids always get loads of tatt from the grandparents, anyhow.