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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be miffed at my friend for her text message.

22 replies

LouMacca · 10/10/2008 09:28

A few weeks ago my friend and i made definite plans to see HSM 3 together with our families (we both have 2 children) and then go for a bite to eat.

We agreed to book tickets for the 1st weekend it was on so I texted her last night to ask if they would prefer sat 25th or sun 26th as we would book the tickets on-line.

She texted me back to say that they wouldn't be coming with us after all as DD had since got a HSM party inc. cinema on 26th so just to do our own thing. I understand that her daughter probably wants to go with your school friends but don't see why this should change our plans! I am so annoyed as I have already told my DC's that the 2 familes are going together.

To be fair she then did send another text saying why don't we do it the weekend after. We cannot do it the weekend after as we are going to Legoland. We booked that weekend as we thought we had made plans for the weekend before and didn't want to let our friends
down!

I haven't replied to either text yet. I decided to sleep on it rather than send a text I might regret. So AIBU? I know you will give me some honest answers before I reply to her text.

BTW. We have been friends for over 10 years and are godparents to each others children. We both have busy lifes/2 children/hard-working husbands. We see other when we can and this would have been an opportunity to get together for the first time in 2 months.

I know this seems petty to other peoples problems but this is not the first time that this can of thing has happened with this friend.

OP posts:
stroppyknickers · 10/10/2008 09:30

Is it a party invite or is it her own party?

RubyRioja · 10/10/2008 09:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OneLieIn · 10/10/2008 09:32

YABU - parties happen. She should have told you earlier though.

Tillyscoutsmum · 10/10/2008 09:34

I can see why you're annoyed but I can also see why her dc's might not want to see it twice in a short space of time.

Any chance you could still get together on the 25th and do something else, then take your dc's to see it on your own on the 26th (or another time) ?

mazzystartled · 10/10/2008 09:35

oh give her some slack
its only a film
why don't you go and take her other dc, everyone happy

pigleto · 10/10/2008 09:37

I would say "that's a shame, we were all really looking forward to it" and leave it at that. It is not really a huge friendship crime.

Rubyrubyruby · 10/10/2008 09:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
LouMacca · 10/10/2008 09:37

stroppyknickers (that is how i feel right now) - no it is a party invite.

As i said i can understand her daughter would want to go with her friends. What has annoyed me the most is that the invite is since our arrangements (i thought WE had plans) and that she only let me know about this after i texted her so see when to book the tickets.

OP posts:
Original poster
LouMacca · 10/10/2008 09:38

1 weeks notice. does that make a difference?

OP posts:
Original poster
LouMacca · 10/10/2008 09:40

pigleto - thanks, i will use that phrase. i don't want to fall out about it.

its just that when i have already made plans with people i don't then go and accpet another invitation and drop my friends.

OP posts:
BlackEyedDog · 10/10/2008 09:43

well it's very bad manners to accept another invitation when you have already made plans. Very rude and annoying for you.

However I wouldn't make heavy weather of it in this case - you've been friends a long time and it'd be a bigger shame to lose that over this.

VinegARGHHHTits · 10/10/2008 09:43

might have just slipped her mind to mention until you reminded her by text, i wouldnt be arsed, id just go with my own family

mazzystartled · 10/10/2008 09:45

er it's 2 weeks til the 26th, or have i lost 7 days somewhere?

the evils of text messaging

if either one of you had actually spoken to each other this would all have been sorted out without any grumpyness

Original poster
LouMacca · 10/10/2008 09:48

ms and rrr - am sorry it is 2weeks!! i am jumping ahead of myself!!

agree about the text messaging and don't want to get into some text arguement.

OP posts:
littlelapin · 10/10/2008 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

alicet · 10/10/2008 09:52

OK so you had made a definate plan to see this together but you hadn't made a definate time so I don't actually think she is rude at all for her dd to go to this party.

Why don't the rest of you (without this dd who is going to the party) go and see it together at the same time so that you can still meet up and see the film and her dd can still go to the party?

Can understand you being a bit irritated but I do think YAB a bit U - sorry

Original poster
LouMacca · 10/10/2008 09:58

Again, no problem with her daughter going to party and never said it was rude.

Thanks for the replies. Have just texted her to say its a shame we can't all go, we were looking foward to it but will just do our own thing now.

OP posts:
stroppyknickers · 10/10/2008 09:58

I hate flakiness so I would be cross too. But, I hate the whole text messaging thing for anything other than 'can you get the paper on the way home' as it is mad to conduct emotions by little messages. Pick the phone up and tell her you are annoyed, that a group outing is more fun for the kids, and can you all do something else that weekend so you don't have to disappoint your dcs. Take yours, meet up some time afterwards and they can all discuss it/ reenact it etc over dinner/ MacDonalds/ icecream

VictorianSqualorSquelchNSquirm · 10/10/2008 10:03

I can understand it's really annoying but personally if I had made plans to do something and was taking the children then DD had an offer of a party I'd probably postpone my plans for hers. As far as children are concerned, meeting up with friends can be any time, going to what sounds like a great birthday party that I know Dd would love to go to can only happen that day iyswim.

Twims · 10/10/2008 10:17

Agree not worth falling out - especially as it's the child who has been given the invitation - you don't know if it's her best frends party - and she's the only one invited - or the whole class is going - at this age it's all about friends not family

Make plans to meet for food and then you and your family can go off to the film.

Troutpout · 10/10/2008 10:30

Agree with Twims

potatofactory · 10/10/2008 12:32

It's not worth falling out over once, but it IS rude - my ESPECIAL bugbear is phoning people to confirm arrangements, only to be told the arrangements no longer stand, for whatever reason. Why the F* am I the one ringing then?? (I always say to myself - never have the guts to say it to them!)

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