To be horrified at a tiny baby's dummy being dipped in Mr Whippy ice cream????

[Twelvelegs]

At a shopping centre today (during the working day) and I walked past a family of five, two girls both with dummies (one of which looked close to school age). The middle child under parents advice dipped her tiny baby brother's dummy (not old enough to sit up or head up even) in her soft ice cream and gave it to him.
I was so horrified I nearly said something... but didn't as they looked like the sort of family who may have hit me hard in the face. The baby was in a car seat which is one of my pet hates, too.

nom nom nom

I love crack

'Your experience of one baby is not statistically enlightening, SCM. Don't pretend it is. '

No but it's OK to judge on a five second snapshot of a family?

Fabio - how about Mr Whippy's crack?

Don't think I said that it was, Saggars

So what were you saying?

That saying the way to make ALL children unfussy was to give them tastes of everything from this age may have worked for her, but wasn't true for all children.

Nikkiemadisonandbump

Your HV/MW should have advised you to raise the head of the cot/moses basket by 2-3". Baby is still flat but can breath easier because not horizontal.

I am that was recommended to you by a HCP.

WRT to carseats being unsafe....it is all about risk benefit.

It is a v v low risk that a baby in a carseat will be adversely affected. But an unrestrained (improperly restrained) baby is at greater risk of being injured in a crash. So in this scenario the risk v benefit analysis comes out in favour of using a carseat in a vehicle.

In the case of using a carseat round a shopping centre (v v low) v the risk of the baby laying close to horizontal in a pram/flat pushchair where the risks are v v v v low then the risk v benefit analysis comes out it favour of using the pram/puschair.

So carseats are not unsafe. They are designed to do a job. They are very good at their job and in that scenario they are safe when used properly. When it is unnecessary to use a carseat (e.g. when you are sticking it on top of a pushchair; or when it is in the same room as a perfectly good cot).

here is a summary of the info I have shared here with some citations.

They didn't suggest anything to that effect!
Im quite upset about it now.
I was 18 at the time and relying on these people to show me how to look after my baby, I didnt have a clue

I must walk around in a daze, cos I rarely notice what other folk are doing with their own children when out and about.

How much judgyness can you get in one OP though?

zeee

Bottle Propping

Nikkie, don't beat yourself up about it. Your DD was fine.

TBH the risks are low. But IMO when there is an alternative available it is a risk not worth taking.

Sadly you find a lot of HCPs who issue some dubious advice - many to mothers who trust them fully - why wouldn'y you? It is their job to give this advice, you would expect them to be the experts.

Nevertheless you are MNetter now....the power of thousands of women over 1 or 2 HCPs...I know who I would trust

Do you know,, it's amazing how little ou care about stuff like this as your child gets older. Now I get cross with parents who don't have books in the house, not anything baby related.

SmugColditz, that is spooky, was just about to post the same.
Twelvelegs, I think YABU re the car seat. When mine were little, you could buy car seats which could be attached to a frame thus convert to a pram. Not sure Silvercross would have risked their reputation on something bad for a baby? The car journeys to visit my parents and ILs were longer than any shopping trip I ever did with a baby. Both fit, healthy and sporty so don't think the car seats harmed them.

Re ice-cream - I'd have been horrified too to see this when mine were babies, but (and am turning into one of these dreaded mothers/MIls now) with reflection, not sure it's the end of the world. But would also have ranted about it once over so can't say YABU!

I remember two mothers giving me evils innit when my youngest was a baby and went from fast asleep to shrieking with hunger in a nanosecond.

I had the audacity to be playing with my elder child about 15 feet away at the time.

And oh dear, the baby was in a car seat [remembers]

I just shoved a chupa-chup gobwards and went back to the playdough.

Oh that was me when mine where little. I didn't have a car though so no car seat - do I get brownie points for not having a car seat and not causing enviromental damage? Will that counteract the dummy misdomeaner?

What if it were Haaaagen Daasszz?

Hmm. My first was weaned on home-made fruit and veggie purees mixed with expressed breastmilk. My second wasn't having any of it and finally when he was 6.5 months and breastfeeding round the clock, I gave him a bit of chocolate ice cream and a couple of crisps. He got the idea of solids pretty quickly after that! And I got some sleep.

Now they're both healthy active teenagers who eat plenty of fruit and veg. No fillings either, despite early encounters with evil processed sugar. It's not the end of the world.

I'm disgusted about the child with the headband.

Well I'm just shocked they didn't let the baby have a proper lick. You can't get a good amount of ice cream on a dummy!

I'm also absolutely horrified that babies are left in car seats for undetermined periods of time (I assume the OP didn't follow the family for their entire outing so has no idea how long the baby was in a car seat)

My most strong emotion though is one of sheer amazement yet again at the ability of some people to even notice (let alone be horrified) when other parents' practices deviate even slightly from their own idealised version of how things should be done.

Nikkiemadisonandbump when my ds was about 3/4 weeks old my health visitor told me to put him to sleep i n carseat too. He had a bad cold and kept coughing up phlegm, choking on it and crying a lot. At first she told me to put videos under his moses basket and after about 3 days she suggested i put him to sleep in a carseat. I didn't have one because i don't have a car, but my mum and dad had bought one for coming home from hospital and to keep in their car.

Oh FFS. Having your baby in a carseat isn't going to kill it. There were times when DS would ONLY sleep in his car seat. It saved my sanity and I am pleased to report that 15 months down the track he is very much alive, well and has no spinal problems.
I just love all these perfect mothers on MN.

I had a blue dd from sleeping in a carseat too - on a terrible journey back from Germany to UK where we got stuck in a traffic jam for 5 hrs.

I has fallen asleep, dd was 8 weeks old and I am sure was only 'saved' by filling her nappy (quite explosive!).

I dont know what woke me up, probably the fart - only that when I did I immediately noticed her lips and nose were blue. DH hadn't noticed because the car seat was behind his seat (and I was in the back with her).

Drove off the motorway in the emergency lane with dd in my arms rather than the seat and took her straight to a hospital. Hospital calmed us down and after checking her over said it was probably because she had been in the car seat too long - any more than a couple of hours can prove dangerous.

I hate seeing travel systems for this reason and wish that everyone would just buy a proper pram so the baby can lie flat.

The journey back to Germany 2 weeks later was horrendous, both of us too scared to go any longer than an hour without stopping and taking her out of the seat. I flew from then on!

Not normally so judgy..... yes I am and am fit to be judged. I guess if the parents were Boden clad and sans tattoos and children weren't walking around with dummies and baby was six months, at least, I would've refrained!!
They just weren't middle class or educated enough to make such mistakes!